An Admiral's Tale
by Nima Onasi
Summary: Post-KOTOR(Spoilers):- [A Mercenary's Tale] - Chapter 10: The March of Doom: Again, I felt my heart beat faster and my limbs go weak, was I really going to die?
1. An Admiral's Tale

Disclaimer: I love Knights of the Old Republic. :D. I read my reviews of my other fan-fic (the dark side of Carth) and basically I really don't think this is as good so you have been warned. George Lucas owns most of this stuff too. Erm.. Spoiler alert also :).  
  
------------------  
  
An Admirals Tale.  
  
"We need to crush the Republican fools." The sinister woman started off by saying. Her voice was thin as ice and she made me shudder under her commands. "Right away Lord Revan." I hastily replied, harshly and cruely. I approached my officers giving them the orders and to make it quick. I didn't like it when Revan got angry, when she got angry their was no telling what she would do. However, I had noticed that Bastila was the more impulsive and unforgiving of the two. I almost trembled in fear when the unmasked Dark Lord was suddenly standing right behind me, she had such influence on me, I hated it but enjoyed being so subdued at the same time. That's when I felt her bony finger trace the shape of my jaw, I could feel her strength even in her small finger and through her dark gloves. "You know I do not like it when you don't hurry my orders, Admiral." She snarled at me, I gulped and closed my eyes before opening them again, my lips trembled and I was about to say something but she continued "Do you wish to end up like the last Sith Admiral?" She asked me, I couldn't take it anymore. I was about to break, the feeling was becoming too much. "N-.. No Lord Revan I don't." I answered, trembling in fear. The officers dare not look at me, they didn't want to see the fear in my eyes, they didn't want to break Revan into hurting them. I gulped again, she was so evil.  
I turned to face her, she was not wearing her mask today and my mind began to wander. I thought about the Mandalorian wars and how Revan had bested--. I was interrupted from my thoughts, Bastila had barged in. "Admiral, you fool. What are you doing?" Bastila had asked the me. I just stood to attention and saluted her, I was about to say something when Revan interrupted. "We are going to crush the Republic my apprentice." The Dark Lord had said, I let out a breath I had been holding. "You." I turned around and faced Revan. She was talking to me. "Go." She pointed her long finger towards the door and I left in a hurry, I was living everyday of my life in terrifying fear knowing that I may be killed but I was a soldier and going down in duty was what we lived for.  
  
***  
  
I lay awake in my quarters, light streaming past the viewing window from the hyperspace travel. I just had the most horrifying dream. Well, it wasn't horrifying really, it was more like my memories. I remembered the glory of war, the honour of fighting. I'd always seen it this way, I was not a soldier, I was a warrior. I did not fight for freedom, I fought because I wanted to be the best. Best? I could almost laugh when I thought of it, infact I did laugh. I will never be the best because Revan has defeated me, yes... She defeated me.  
*Sigh* I knew I had to report to her soon, I wondered if I will be manipulated into sex with her again. She turned me on in everyway possible, I wanted her badly but she was just using me. Using me as her pleasure tool, she is inhumane, she always has been and always will. She basically rapes me and I don't want to stop her. Does that qualify as rape? No, maybe.. Maybe blackmail. I can't deny I don't enjoy the pleasures of the flesh but when your life is at stake it makes it even more important to perform for her. *Sigh* My mind is racing with these thoughts...  
  
***  
  
I knocked on her quarters. "Enter" Came the rough, demanding voice of the Dark Lord. I had entered and saluted her, she was my leader anyway. She walked towards me and trailed a finger down my cheek again, I was torn. I wanted to look away but I couldn't, she brought out lustful emotions in me that I did not know existed.  
  
I took her. Just how she wanted. I knew what she liked.. I had been doing it for the past two years after all.  
  
We were lying in bed.. Together. In her own sadistic manner, I guess she loved me.  
  
As for me? Hah. You *really* wish to know about me?  
  
I am a cruel, evil man. I have a heart of ice and witnessed more deaths than anyone else in the galaxy. I have fought in the most impressive and honourable battles, I am one of the most respected people in the galaxy. I have more anger and hatred than Revan but still I tremble.. I have been bested by a woman and I can't ever forgive nor forget that. My heart has been stolen, the heart of ice and it's been shattered and broken into tiny splinters.  
  
And you wish to know my name?  
  
...  
  
...My name is Carth Onasi. I am the Starfleet Admiral of the Sith fleet. 


	2. The Day After With a Death Wish

Prima2: Thankyou for your review of "An Admiral's Tale" as for me carrying on the story, I wasn't really planning on it.. I've been writing another fan fiction that's kind of long but I'm not satisfied with that and I'd rather finish it first then read it over carefully and fix parts of it (before submitting any of it). An Admiral's Tale was a sort of idea i had for a moment.. It didn't work out the way I liked it to and it's an example of one of my worse pieces of writing. But you know, now that you mention that the Admiral's Tale can actually open up a lot more.. Well I think you're right.. And I'll think on it and see what plot elements I can add onto it.. :). Thanks for the inspiration, criticism and ideas. I'll try to proof-read it a bit better next time.. Never have been a great first person writer :). P.S. I tried to mail this to you, but it was a broken mail link :/.  
  
Athena: Thanks for the best wishes, you too.  
  
Aroseb: Thanks for saying it's interesting!  
  
-Nima Onasi.  
  
----------------  
  
An Admirals Tale - Chapter 2.  
  
The day after.. With a Death Wish.  
  
I fell asleep beside Revan, in her bed. I wouldn't usually do that, I would be asking for trouble but this particular night I was a bit tired, a bit tired to be with her, a bit tired of.. Life. I was sleeping soundly, dreaming of the past. I actually dreamt of the events of the Star Forge, when I burst into the room and saw Bastila and Revan standing there. I tried to piece together what had happened in my mind. She had been so full of light all the way but the closer we got to the Star Forge the more it seemed as if.. Well, as if something was torturing her. As if something had a rope attached to her neck and was reeling her in.  
Why did I think so much on this? I suppose, it's because I love her. When I told Revan that she had to kill Bastila, my mind was racing I just wanted to hold her, to protect her from the darkness that lay inside her. I have been down that path before, and actually, I'm on that path now. I remembered how her charismatic qualities led me on this path. "Surely there can be another way Bastila and Carth. Their is no need for you to kill Carth and their is no need for me to kill Bastila. You, both, can be a great asset to me." I raised my eyebrow at this, what was she asking of me?  
She explained the plan. "Well, Carth.. Why don't you join us? You know that we're all going to die if I kill Bastila, either way you're defeated." She was right. I was defeated and I had been defeated ever since Morgana Onasi died.. Bleeding to death in my arms as I cradled her. What did I have to live for, besides Revan? She was giving me a chance, she was making me realise what I am inside... My dreams flashed back to the conversation with Dustil "How many mother's have you killed, father?" He was right. The Republic are as guilty as charged as the Sith, I'd like to remain neutral but the truth was I wanted to remain by Revan's side.  
I'm paying for that now, when I said I wanted to hold her I haven't had chance to, she won't let me, she locks me out. I'm just her little pawn, her little toy she can use and put away when she wants to. I want to change, I want to be the good man that I was again but I'm so closely bonded to Revan that if I can't save her then I don't want to save myself. Ever. After this dream and these thoughts, I started to dream of Morgana and Dustil. My previous life when I did not have any darkness to haunt me, before I was reborn again as a man fighting for the cause with the wrong reasons.  
I was a good man then, I made sure that Morgana was always okay. That she and Dustil were always fine, when I was on leave I'd make sure I'd spend so much time with the both of them, I'd take them out on picnics and show them some of the more picturesque places of Telos.. It's a shame that Telos is literally ash and ruins now. Telos was beautiful, like Morgana and like Revan's beauty also. When my mind had finished this dream, what happened next surprised me.  
I felt a warm palm touch my chest and I moved my hand to cover it, without thinking. Then I felt a head being placed on my chest, feeling for my chest rising and falling with my soft breaths. I reached my other hand to caress the head, again without thinking where I was. I ran my fingers through the silky hair from top to bottom as I sighed, it was if a lost soul was trying to find me, trying to contact me; a wash of sympathy ran through my soul. "You have.. A wonderous touch" Came a cold but inviting voice. I opened my eyes, it was Revan. I immediately stopped caressing her hair, "I'm sorry.." I rushed in my reply. She glared at me, I didn't know what to think, was she trying to catch me out? Was she loving me?  
"You should return to your quarters, if you weren't so obediant maybe I would have murdered you whilst you slept." She told me, it was my turn to glare. I decided to be brave, "So that's why you put your head on my chest huh? Because you wished to murder me." I asked her. She smirked and then laughed a cruel laugh, she got up from the bed and started to get dressed, I rolled around in the bed and looked outside the viewing window. "You're pretty brave. I think I like my Admiral.." Came her rather superficial reply, I got up to face her as she got dressed, pulling the covers around me as I got onto my feet. "Why are you covering yourself? You have nothing that I haven't seen before in the past two years." She was right, but I wanted to be respectable. "You don't like your new Admiral, you love your new Admiral." It was another brave reply for me, I was boasting, I knew it would really get on her nerves but times were changing and it was about time I tried to strike.. Strike at what is left of her heart.  
"Hmph..." Came the unplayful reply. Whatever happened to the woman on Taris? The one that would not let an egotistical comment like that fly over her head, oh right, she died. "For a man with a heart of ice who cannot even stroke a womans hair without-" I raised an eyebrow and strained towards her, the comments could make me laugh. "Without flinching, is that what you want to say Revan? Uh. Well let's face it.. Normally you'd kill me for that type of behaviour, I was half delirious.. I didn't really mean it." I was lying. I did mean it, I'd woken up in a bad mood.. I'd been a jerk for the past two years, why should I stop now? I knew however, that I should fight it. I'm complaining that I want to help her when I'm really just making her worse but I don't know how she would react if I told her I meant every stroke, every caress; half delirious or not.  
She came towards me and slapped me across the face, it was to be expected. Maybe she felt as if I was using her? "Oh, looks like little miss Revan woke up on the wrong side of the bed today." Normally, I wouldn't commit myself to such a corageous act where she was concerned but like I said, I'm sick of life, maybe I wanted a death wish. She ran towards her lightsabre and flicked it on, she was going to strike me down. I grabbed her wrist and twisted it, she let go, why was she making it so easy for me and not using the force to stop me? She slapped me across the face again. I raised my hand to return the favour but knew I could never hit a woman, I stopped myself as I felt her wretch free from my hand. It seems that sex was a powerful driving force for me.. But it also was for her. I was half expecting her to kill me, but she didn't. She left, telling me that she expected me on the bridge in a few hours.  
I'm musing right now. I'm starting to sound like Canderous.. How dark have I become...?  
  
***  
  
I returned to my quarters but I couldn't sleep, anger had a tight grip on me now, after the passion of last night came anger. It almost made sense. I may be 40 now but I decided to waltz down to the sparring room, I needed to take my anger out on someone or something, Revan had hold of me and I didn't like it. I wanted to control the relationship, if I was in control I could save her. I entered the room and saw who I least expected.  
Canderous Ordo. I really didn't expect that? Well, not at this hour. He turned towards me, his grizzled and muscular body had been sweating, it looked like he had the same idea. I went towards the equipment holder on the side of the wall and reached inside for a vibroblade, I knew I would lose against a Mandalorian, but I wanted to fight with anger. I wanted to experience what Revan experiences everytime she grips her blade. Maybe this way I could help her.  
"Fight me, Mandalorian." I ordered him. General Ordo just stared at me and grinned. "You? Little Republic wimpy boy? The tool of the Sith?" He taunted at me, I thrown a vibroblade at him and he caught it perfectly. "I won't go easy on you, if that's what your expecting." I just laughed and shook my head giving him a cruel look, "I'm having a bad day. Less talk, more action." I replied to him, he cocked his head and grinned. A Mandalorian was never one to turn down a spar. "You're a pilot Carth. You're a warrior in the skies above, you don't fight well face to face. Maybe it's fear that you feel. But.. You're the boss and if you want to try and best me, who is a Mandalorian to say no?" He asked me.  
I smirked casually before charging him down with my vibroblade. The blades clashed and sparks flew off them, he swiped for my feet and I jumped over it. I kicked him in the face and he fell on the ground before flipping himself up to his feet, "Not so agile in your old age are you old man?" I quipped to him. He cricked his neck from side to side before brandishing his weapon and charging for me, I parried his overhead blow but before I knew it I was on the floor. My head smacked against the cold deck and I winced in pain, however it only strengthened my resolve and made me even more angry.  
"You were saying? Seems you didn't even see that coming, kid." I pulled him a face of disgust as I staggered up to my feet, wiping the sweat from my brow that had already formed. Standing up and ready I waved my hand at him beckoning him to charge me down. He charged me down and our blades clashed again. The sound resonated across the whole sparring room and seemed extremely loud as it echoed off all the walls. We carried on this way until he got the best of me again and I ended up with a hard kick into my side, I staggered around a little bit and clutched my waist.  
"No wonder Dustil rejected you as his father, you're a weak, pathetic man. You're not even worthy to spar me." My anger had just jumped two hundred percent, if I could kill Canderous I'd gladly do it now. "FUCK YOU, don't EVER talk to me about my SON!!" I screamed at him before charging him down, completely forgetting about my pain. "That's right. Revan would be proud of you fighting with your anger like this instead of bottling it in like a wuss. That's why you're here isn't it, Blaster Boy? You're angry yet have been trying not to show it." I completely ignored his statements at the time however, blind anger and rage controlling my every manuveur of my vibroblade, I gritted my teeth as this time I got the upper hand and he was on his knees. I relentlessly hammered my blade towards his, hoping to break his grip on the blade. He wasn't even trying, he was letting me take my anger out on something.. Anything.  
I was stopped when a dark figure entered the room.. Revan. We both got to our feet, panting as she regarded us with her cruel eyes. "What is going on here? I hear Carth yell then I see this. I hope you two are behaving or I shall have to exterminate you, personally." She told us. I wiped the sweat away from my brow again and let Canderous deal with this, the pain in my side shot back as I gripped it tightly. "We were sparring." Canderous replied, Revan sat in the corner of the room and laughed softly. "Then don't mind me, I need a laugh. Let me watch."  
I wasn't one to say no, not with all this anger burning up inside of me. I did however decide to be corageous again and quip to Revan, "You just want to ogle my body.. You're not needed in here.. Go do your.. Sith duty or whatever it is you Jedi-type people do." Canderous looked at me, he'd never seen me with such resolve before. I heard him whisper "You're pushing your luck blaster boy.." Revan, however, just regarded me with her cruel eyes. "I wish to watch you spar.. I sense much anger in you, Carth.. I sense that you're ready to unleash it and take a new step in your life.. A step even more into the darkness. I wish to help you do it." Came her sincere reply. It worried me, she flashed a smile at me and I began to tremble, like yesterday.  
Again, me and Canderous entered a battle stance as Revan placed her hand beneath her jaw, regarding the both of us in our fighting stances. "Carth.. Loosen the grip on your blade, you're holding it way too tight." Revan ordered me, I shook my head at her, no way was I taking battle orders from a woman 13 years my junior. "Revan's right Carth. Maybe you should listen to her words of wisdom." Canderous told me, at this point I let my grip loosen a little bit on the blade. "That's better" Came her words of encouragement.  
Our swords clashed again as the spar carried on, Revan kept watching us ever vigilantly. Every so often I'd get commands off Revan, it was unusual for her to be so helpful in her darkness, they sounded kind of like, "No! You're gripping the blade too tight again!", "You're waving it around like a feather duster!". After a while she groaned, she could see I wasn't doing too well, but I had blind rage controlling me, why would I listen to her? She came between the fight. "General, you go take a rest." She ordered Canderous. Canderous muttered something under his breath as Canderous handed Revan his sword.  
"I'm going to teach you a little lesson, Admiral." Revan told me. I stared blankly at her, how was I supposed to take this? "But.." She all but raised an eyebrow at me, "Don't worry, Admiral. I will go as easy on you as I can." Came her not-quite-reassuring-reply in my mind. "No force tricks then girl." I taunted at her, I definitely had a death wish. She raised an eyebrow again, "Enguarde!" as our spar started.  
She shown me some tricks, and sure enough she went easy on me, I came through with a couple of bruises. I was amazed. When she stopped, she handed the sword back to Canderous and I was about to duel with him again. My anger was still heated, "Ahhh.. I feel the anger in you, let that influence your moves, strike Canderous with your anger!" Revan told me, I decided to see what it felt like yet again. Me and Canderous began to fight, again our blades clanged against each other resonating from the walls and echoing loudly. The adrenaline pumped in my veins wildly this time, feeding me with this hunger, this desire to strike down my enemy.  
Oh anger feed me! It was all that I could think, it was running through my veins, like pure poetry, it was becoming part of me, it was ruling me. My blind rage was seething behind my eyes and burning my very soul. I was becoming rotten, all I could think of was finding an opening and slicing through Canderous' flesh. I started to giggle uncontrollably in a fit of rage, it was consuming me now and I was no longer concentrating, Canderous found an opening and sliced my arm and the next thing I heard was "I told you I saw it coming. Pay attention!" from Revan. Canderous had his back half-turned, that is when I slashed my own blade haphazardly across his stomach to return the favour, we were both bleeding now. We were even.  
Revan ran up to us in an effort to stop the fight from esculating, but I couldn't help myself. I had to hurt Canderous, he had bested me so many times. If the only way I was going to hurt him was by being a coward then so be it. "The two of you. Stop it or I shall kill you with my bare hands. Get some kolto on those wounds and Carth, I expect to see you in the tactical room after you've well.. Refreshed yourself. Same goes for you Canderous."  
Me and Canderous glared at each other for a brief moment, as I left I threw my vibroblade on the floor in temper. Well, that felt good... 


	3. Heart of gold or heart of steel?

An Admiral's Tale - Chapter 3  
  
Heart of gold or heart of steel?  
  
I took a quick sonic shower after these encounters, I let the soft waves bathe my hair and my body as I closed my eyes and lifted my head up to the ceiling. You may be wondering what I was thinking, well to be honest, I was thinking nothing. I was feeling nothing. It was as if the sound waves were cleansing away my anger, my pain, my.. Very emotion. I stayed that way for a while, enjoying the peace and tranquility that was washing over me, being a Sith now their was not much time for such moments to occur.  
As for my death wish? Well, it has been sated for now. Their's something strange happening to Revan and I can't seem to wrap my head around it, ever since last night it's as if she isn't all that bad anymore. But knowing the Sith.. And knowing the way she has betrayed my trust it's all going to be a lie.. Or is it? *Sigh* I mean, I trust her. That's the stupid thing, her charismatic ways *make* me trust her.. It sounds.. Silly, doesn't it? And her beauty.. That might be a ridiculous concept for anyone to try and wrap themselves around, she was always beautiful, she still is now. Even though the dark side has changed her features considerably it doesn't exactly bother me.. Too much.  
I got out the sonic shower and got dressed in my grey Sith uniform. I left my room and wandered the ship..  
  
***  
  
"You KNOW that I get angry when you disobey my orders Leuitenant!" Came Revan's cruel voice, echoing down the corridoor. As soon as I heard it I sidled up behind the wall so she couldn't see me, THIS I had to see. "B- But.. Lord Revan.." The young man replied to her, trembling in fear. "Silence!" Revan yelled at him, she stretched her hand outwards and made a motion for his throat as her own hand trembled. The young man began to choke, his hands cradled his throat as he tried to break free of the force. I didn't recognise him.  
"Please.. *Splutter* Lord... Revan... Have mercy *Splutter*" Came the young officers voice, I winced. I wanted to stop this madness but knew that I would be pushing it too far today. "Have mercy.. Please" I muttered to myself and to my surprise Revan let her grip of the mid-air surrounding her straining hand dissapate. I sighed under my breath, the young man crumpled up on the floor, spluttering and clutching his throat. Revan sighed, she was wearing her mask now and she rubbed her forehead through the mask as best as she could.  
"You have your mercy..." She uttered in almost an inaudible whisper, my eyes widened. She shown compassion and mercy? That's a weakness of the Sith, it was promising however. The young man still lay on the cold floor rolling around in agony his face blood red from strain but he still managed to mutter the words "Thankyou... I will not let you down this time Revan." Out the corner of my eye, I saw Revan shrug as she offered a hand to help the young soldier up. What is this? Mutiny among the ranks? And our leader as the mutinee! I chuckled under my breath..  
"Don't mention a word to anyone Soldier or next time you will be feeling a lot more pain." Revan threatened him, the officer just bowed infront of her and ran off immediately to do his duties. He ran past me and I just backed myself into the shadows, their was no need for Revan to know that I saw a bit of light in her extreme darkness.  
  
***  
  
I continued my walk along the corridoor towards the Tactical Room as I heard some laughter coming from one of the rooms on my left. I placed my ear to the door, "Hahaha.. She won't see it coming." A female voice said, it sounded like Bastila. "No.. She won't.." Came a male voice, it sounded like Canderous. I kept listening, this sounded big, I strained my ear to hear the whole conversation but it was practically inaudible. "This is the plan.." I heard Bastila say, then their was some muttering, "We will head off here..." More inaudible muttering then Canderous interrupted.  
"How does that Republican.. slime fit into this?" He asked Bastila, I gasped. Why was I being involved in this conversation? "I've noticed a change in Revan's moods.. Carth will be..." More muttering again, this was big. Very big. So I was part of some kind of plan? "That's when you come into play Canderous." Canderous was involved too? Should I inform Revan? A gasp fell from under my lips and I gently tapped the door without realising. "Someone's listening!" I heard Bastila yell, I bolted for my very life towards the Tactical Room.  
  
***  
  
I entered the Tactical Room. Revan. She was standing there proudly and facing away from me. She had removed her mask. I immediately saluted her, "Lord Revan.." I drifted off in mid sentance. She stiffened as she turned towards me. "As you know Admiral, we are approaching Manaan. I want you to- " She was interrupted as Bastila and Canderous entered the room to join the briefing, I turned and glared a stone cold look at the both of them. "Master, I wish to have a private audience with you for just a moment." Revan just sighed as Bastila told her this, I watched them both.. Carefully.  
"I trust it's important, Bastila. Or I will be angry.." Revan replied, it didn't sound as if her heart was in it at all. I just stood silently, keeping my glares fixed on the traitors inside the room, heck, even Revan was becoming a traitor of her own "morals" and "causes".  
All I can say is that after they went out of the room, I wished Canderous wasn't there. Maybe then I could have had a hint for what would be coming.. But life doesn't work out that way, it's a drag and that conversation that took place outside changed life for a lot of us. I know it dragged me down into some depths I will reiterate for you later.. I knew from then on, I would have to be sticking to my mottos. Expect the unexpected... 


	4. Bloodshed

An Admiral's Tale - Chapter 4  
  
Bloodshed  
  
I entered the transportation shuttle to be taken onto the surface of Manaan, my mind still wondered about what Revan and Bastila ended up talking about, could it be part of the plan? Canderous was sitting beside me, he had a smirk on his face and was brandishing his blasters carefully, he leaned over and asked me "So, what do you think about this mission?" I just glared at him. "Sounds good. Go in, get information, get out." I replied as I carried on glaring at the Mandalorian, Canderous just laughed softly, I wanted to kill him for the past few days and I was hoping I would get my chance on Manaan.  
I leaned over to whisper to him "But if you pull one funny stunt on me, I'm going to make sure I rip your tongue out and blast your ears off." It was a cruel, heartless comment from me but I truly wanted to do that with the anger burning up inside of me. He shrugged at me and whispered back "I could still make Revan beg for my manly passions" I turned around and pointed a blaster to his head, did he know about the deal me and Revan had with each other? My finger trembled on the trigger and he raised his arms up, smirking at me. I knew if I killed him, I'd be branded a traitor, Revan would deal with me personally and I'd never get the chance to change her. What use is the only person that's making her think twice when he's dead?  
"You should TREAT Revan with respect." I snarled at him, I grit my teeth again and he pushed the blaster out of my hand. The blaster rattled and clanged on the floor. I stood there staring at him, intently.  
"Uh.. Sir, We're here on Manaan" A sith pilot informed me and Canderous, our glares still met one anothers, we wanted each others blood and I knew sooner or later one of us would be the victor.  
  
***  
  
I was dressed in plain clothes so that I could fit into the Cantina without anyone being suspicious of me, I scanned around, plenty of Republic soldiers in here that I could try and get information from. I went up to the bar and decided to order some of the local stuff, it was handed to me and I was sipping it graciously. "Hey.. You.." Came a voice from behind me, I just sighed under my breath. "What do you want punk?" I replied, keeping my back to them. I felt a tap on my shoulder, "I'm talking to YOU." The drunk said to me.  
"Just what I needed.." I muttered under my breath, I turned around and was greeted by a Republic uniform. "WE don't LIKE your kind in here." I just glared at him and started to laugh, "Shut up, scum!" I yelled at him as I clenched my fist tightly. I gave him a right hook across the jaw, he fell on the floor like a ton of bricks, he was out cold. Suddenly all eyes were focused on me in the Cantina. Canderous ran over to me. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked me, I shrugged at him and smirked "You want some too, old man?" Came my daring reply.  
"Later.. Yes. Now.. No. Get on with the mission or you're going to break our cover." Canderous whispered, infuriated at me. I shrugged and returned to my drink, Canderous walked away.  
*Tap*. "Not again..." I muttered under my breath. *Tap.. Tap* "Look. I came in here to enjoy my drink, not to be bothered by-" I turned around to see who it was. I was greeted by a handsome man and my jaw dropped in surprise, I knew him... Very well...  
  
------------  
  
Athena: Yep. I mailed you ^_^. Thanks for the feedback! I wrote this short chapter just to wet your appetites a little bit :P. 


	5. Unfriendly memories

An Admiral's Tale - Chapter Five  
  
Unfriendly memories..  
  
My mind wandered to the time after the Star Forge. I had agreed to become Revan's Starfleet Admiral within the Sith Fleet and I had asked her if I could take the time to visit Telos.. And my son, two years ago. Anyway, after an uneventful journey I went to see my son, I decided that if their was any way for us to rebuild our relationship then I might leave the Sith. That meant however, that Revan would be after me, seeking revenge.. But I didn't care, as long as it made Dustil happy..  
  
But unfortunately, things don't ever work out that way. I went to see Dustil and even though he had changed he was filled with anger for me, he wondered why I could never kill Revan for all the pain she caused the both of us. He thought I was selfish.. Selfish for killing Karath, how the only thing I could think of was "how Karath had betrayed my trust.." Not the destruction that ensued afterwards, he was totally wrong but he was a young man. Emotions and hormones still ran high in him and it could only be expected that he would be so angry at me, after all, I hadn't been there for him in 4 or 5 years.  
  
Then he found out about my agreement with Revan, he asked me why, so I told him the truth. "Because I love Revan.. And their has to be a way to change her, you don't understand her like I do." The words I told him echoed through my mind, my memories are so full of hurt and this one was another collection to my long list.  
  
"Forget it father, you're a failure, you're a Sith scumbag and I hope I never see you again." That's when I became so angry, that's when I began to destroy, that's WHEN I would prove to my son that I *AM* no failure! Those were his last words to me, his last ever words before he ran... Or so I thought.  
  
The man tapping me on the shoulder, the man looking into my eyes, was Dustil. I was speechless, I didn't know what to say. The man who was the cause for my anger, my deathwish for two years was now standing infront of me and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it or change the past. I felt like dropping to my knees, begging him for forgiveness, for solace from the anger.. But I couldn't, instead he trembled and tears welled up in his eyes as he began to speak to me. "What are *you* doing here?" He threw at me, anger more than apparent in his statement.  
  
"I'm.. Just off duty having a drink." Came my rushed reply, I didn't enjoy lying to my son but I didn't want a brawl to start in there either. I saw Canderous out the corner of my eye, he was seething that we had bumped into my son, he knew this could jeopardise the mission.  
  
"I don't believe you..." Came his voice, he stared intently at me. The anger was still building in him now, it was so strong. It was almost like I could feel it and I was by no means a Jedi. For another minute or so we stayed that way, my heart was pounding and my breathing had quickened. That was when I noticed. My son was wearing a Republic uniform, he was an officer now.. And he had his wings.. He had become a pilot, like me. I was proud to see him wearing that, I carried on gazing at the wings on his uniform and failed to notice the fist that came up to my jaw.  
  
I fell onto the ground in surprise. Dustil jumped ontop of me and started to lay into me, punching me and kicking me, his friends came and tried to pull him off me. No way was I going to hit my son! This was what I deserved after all, I'm a terrible father.. I suppose you can say, Dustil was going to beat me to death. They kept trying to yank him off me but to no avail, I felt punch after punch being landed in my face and I kept staring at him. I felt my nose start to get bloody, my mouth filled up with blood from my gums too. My lips were bleeding also, it hurt a lot and I had been in plenty of fist fights in the past but one that was never quite like this.  
  
The Selkath arrived as Dustil was being pulled from me, he managed to land a kick in my stomach and I keeled over to the right hand side, groaning. He landed his final kick in my kidneys and I groaned in pain again, I spat on the floor getting rid of the mouthful of blood that had accumulated there. I put my hands on the floor for some kind of bearing, my vision was blurry and I tried to stagger to my feet. An unwelcome hand from a Selkath helped me get to my feet.  
  
"We are placing you under arrest. Firstly, for assaulting a Republic soldier and secondly for intimidating a fight. Come with us and we will clean your wounds up before you go to your holding cell." They told me, I just staggered about dazed and disorientated. I can imagine how Canderous would be feeling over this. The last thing I remember is being stun prodded, I passed out. After that all I can remember is being dragged to my cell.  
  
------------  
  
Athena: You got your reason. :) And yay angriness.. He'll get angrier!  
  
Aroseb: It seems like you do know him! :). 


	6. Unwelcome visitors

Warning: A bit of a suggestive and dark chapter this one, so I really recommend parental guidance.. It isn't anything *too* bad but it's definitely suggestive and dark :|.  
  
-----------  
  
An Admiral's Tale - Chapter Six  
  
Unwelcome visitors  
  
I stayed still, kneeling in my cell as I glared down looking at my bound hands. Their was no way I was going to escape the cuffs, so I sat still and let my mind wander. Was Dustil *that* angry at me that he had to beat me up? If he was anyone else, I would have put my blaster to their head and let rip. I wouldn't have let go of one shot, but two, maybe three. Anything that would sate the anger inside of my huge, hungry heart.  
  
The room was bleak and hexagonal shaped. I was used to these type of rooms, I am a career soldier and I saw rooms like this everyday onboard star cruisers. I lay down quietly and drifted off into a sleep.  
  
***  
  
I dreamt of times that I can only say were a long time ago.. Perhaps.. Seven, eight.. Maybe nine years ago.  
  
***  
  
"Leuitenant Onasi." I turned my head to face my mentor, Saul. "Good luck out there, the Mandalorian's are a tough type, but not that you needed to be reminded of that." He flashed me a grin, a warm grin you see on those you trust.  
  
"Thankyou, sir." I replied to him, I saluted stiffly and climbed into the cockpit of the star-fighter. I reached down for my helmet and slid it onto my head and started to fire the star-fighter up. I placed the cockpit cover around me, locking it in place. I looked to my right. To my right was an Ensign, if I remember correctly, his name was Ensign Yotoshi, or was it Yatashi?  
  
Anyway, the ensign saluted me. I saluted back, I looked to my left. It was Leuitenant Marty. He was the Wing Commander of Wing Zeta, our wing. I saluted him, and he saluted me. I started to hit the right switches and buttons to get the engines of my star-fighter on a roll. In synchronization, we all rolled out of the docking bay.  
  
We were on a mission to escort a transport that was carrying prisoners of war. They had all been rescued recently and their was a vicious fight that ensued, apparently Revan and Malak decided they were important.  
  
After a while of travelling in deep space the silence was broken. "Geeze. That Revan is one crazy kook." I heard Ensign Yotoshi say over the communications, Marty kept on flying towards the transports.  
  
"These guys know many secrets of the Republic, they say they know a lot about ancient artifacts.. Materials.. Ancient races, they are scientists mostly but if the Mandalorians were to get their hands on this stuff.. Their's no telling how the war would pan out even with the two best Jedi's on our side. Many brave pilots died trying to free these guys and gals." My Wing Commander explained to the young Ensign.  
  
"You don't get what I mean.. Revan and Malak are leaving a planet wide open for attack, and it *is* being attacked.. Why sacrifice those lives just for these old fools?" Ensign Yotoshi protested.  
  
"For the greater good of the galaxy!" I replied a bit heated by the conversation, "If we didn't leave Alderaan open for attack then the Mandalorians would gain these artifacts and the scientists knowledge, we can't let that happen! At least this way the eventual body count is kept down.." I drifted off, innocent people were dying on Alderaan but I was right, if these artifacts were dangerous then we had to save the rest of the galaxy.  
  
"What if you were leaving Telos open for attack? Would you do it if you had Revan's commanding power?" Ensign Yotoshi shot at me, it was a cold question. One I knew would contradict my previous statement.  
  
"No.. I couldn't..." My own voice said defeatedly to Yotoshi.  
  
"Look, we have wives.. Kids.. At least I know you two do.. I have a fiancee and.. I'm damned if I'd ever do such a thing!" He yelled back, a bit upset by the conversation.  
  
"It's war Yotoshi.. It's war.. Innocents die.. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made but if I was in his position... Revan's position, I would never do such a thing... Especially if it was Telos-" I was interrupted by Marty.  
  
"Quit arguing you two. Besides, how do you know Revan is a guy? Have you ever met him?" Wing Commander Marty said, lightening the dull travel to the transports up.  
  
"No.." Came Yotoshi's answer, I decided to have a crack at my own wisdom.  
  
"No. But I doubt he's a girl either, girl's are only good for keepin' ya warm and havin' babies." I said chauvinistically. Wing Commander Marty just tutted at me and laughed. "Besides. Have you ever heard of females having skill? Hah, a female with a lightsabre, that would make me laugh.. If Revan was a female I'd say something like "Hey gorgeous.. Drop that lightsabre, come touch a *REAL* lightsabre"" I said, I couldn't believe how self centred I was back then, I was laughing at my own joke.  
  
"If she was female, she'd probably slice your head off. It's amazing Morgana ever married you.. You have like zero charm.. Bah.. Pilots.. Don't worry, it'll develop with age Onasi." Marty told me, I just flashed him a grin since we were flying in a tight formation.  
  
"Besides, I have a lot of charm. I was just kidding around, did I ever tell you about the time with my first girlfriend?" I asked them. I remember hearing laughter from Yotoshi.  
  
"Yeah.. I bet you sure did charm her, you're the type that's a virgin when you get married.. Besides, even if it did get that close I bet you ran home and whacked off. Hehe.. Wuss. By the way, was her name Morgana?" Yotoshi taunted at me, a glint in his eye. I laughed at the time, the guy had guts.  
  
"Bah.. Dirty conversation, cut it out. We're ontop of that transport now." Marty interrupted.  
  
"I'll get you back, Yotoshi" I said laughing. "I swear it. Heh."  
  
***  
  
Suddenly, I had to mature.. Fast. Every thirty-something guy had to have the kid in him, but this was unexpected.. The next dream was all but 15 minutes after the previous one.  
  
***  
  
"Sir! Help!" I heard Yotoshi screaming. The convoy had been ambushed and we were outnumbered ten to three. "Their's one on my six!"  
  
"Tell *that* Revan that his plans have MESSED up big time, we've been ambushed. WE NEED REINFORCEMENTS." Marty yelled back to Heinder, the great star cruiser.  
  
"Hold on Yotoshi.. I gotcha!" I communicated to him as I got on the tail of the Mandalorian fighter, we weaved through the space and up and over the transport, I got a lock on and fired my blaster cannons. It was a direct hit. The Mandalorian ship exploded. Twisted metal and shrapnel expanded to litter the galaxy.  
  
"Thanks Sir!" I heard him communicate, their were nine left now.  
  
"Onasi.. LOOK. They aren't looking to disable the transport, they're looking to destroy it.. All fighters.. Protect that transport at all costs!" Marty ordered us, I formed on his wing and stuck to a tight formation as we blasted two more Mandalorian fighters from history.  
  
"Negative Zeta Wing. Beta Wing is busy with other operations at the moment, reinforcements will not be able to get to your position in time." Saul informed us.  
  
"Damn you Saul!" I heard Marty yell over his commuicator as things got even more heated and the furstration was embedded in us deeply.  
  
"Just get that transport back here and the Heinder will sort it out with our blaster cannons." Saul replied, "Calm down pilots.." He trailed off.  
  
We fought our skins out that day, we managed to single it down to one fighter and what happened then would change me.. Forever.  
  
"Bah.. Help. He's on my six" I heard Marty say calmly, he had been in this situation more times than I could remember.  
  
"I'm on it." I said to him. I had the Mandalorian in my sights. I was about to shoot.  
  
"SHIT! A missile.. I can't avoid it.. I-" Marty was dead. His ship exploded around him filling the space and stars with needless star-fighter dust yet again.  
  
Another family. Another wife left without a husband, another child.. Left without a father. A family torn apart by one destructive missile.  
  
"NO!" I screamed, it couldn't have been happening, it couldn't have. At the time I wished it was a dream, but it wasn't a dream. This was real.  
  
"Down you go!" I screamed in vengeance to the last Mandalorian ship. It was finally over..  
  
***  
  
After that I became the Wing Commander of Zeta Wing. I had a lot of respect for Marty.. My next dream occured around two years down the line from this.. Just after Morgana died.  
  
***  
  
I was hitting the Sith officer as hard as I could. Breaking a sweat. Torturing him. I gave him punch after punch into the stomach. He was winded and coughing badly. I'd already broken several of his ribs with my bare fists. This was a special agreement I had with some of my "contacts" inside the Republican Intelligence Unit, they respected me. I was a Commander by this time and they knew that I lost my family when the Sith attacked Telos.  
  
They informed me that they captured one of the officers that was involved in the attack on Telos. The R.I.U. told me that they had retrieved all information that was possible from the officer and they didn't mind if I used some of my more.. "Gentle persuasion techniques" on him. Oh, how I happily obliged. Heh. Cracking his skull open after a few hours would suffice fine. Of course, they assured me that if I bludgeoned him to death they would not report me to the higher authority of the Republic.  
  
My knuckles were raw and bleeding from beating the Sith officer up. Sure, he wasn't Saul, but he would do for now. He was coughing up blood uncontrollably and was on the ground almost lifeless. I kicked him firmly in the stomach "YOU BASTARD!!" I screamed at him wildly, "YOU DON'T EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT ATTACKING DEFENSELESS PLANETS AND PEOPLE.. HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF HUMAN HUH?" I screamed at him, the Sith officer lay on the floor. He begged me for mercy.  
  
"When those innocent Telosians begged for mercy from your WRATH I didn't see YOU handing them any, why should I?" I asked him, the Sith officer started to weep softly, he was on his knees begging me like I was some kind of God.  
  
"I was just doing what Malak told me to do... I'm just a soldier... Please don't hurt me anymore..." He begged me in an inaudible whisper, his crying was becoming hysterical, but it didnt stop me. I kneed him in the ribs and heard another one of his ribs crack under the force. I grinned in satisfaction as the sound echoed across the room and the Sith officer grunted in pain.  
  
"That was for calling yourself a SOLDIER when you're NOTHING but a monster." I told him. I then roundhouse kicked him across the face, the force of the kick made him land on the floor with a thud. "THAT was for my beautiful WIFE." I lay beside him and helped him to sit up, he was dazed. I wrapped my whole arm around his neck "And this.." I said as I tightened my whole arm around his throat "Will be painless.. Even though you deserve more.. This is for my.. My.." My voice cracked in sadness "My innocent son." I will never forget the look on the young mans face. His eyes pleaded with me as I snapped his neck with my arm. He fell silently onto the floor.  
  
I sat on my knees staring at him for a while, before brushing my hands over his eyelids, closing them.  
  
The two R.I.U. officers in the room were trembling at what I had just done.  
  
I walked out the room, without a trace of guilt...  
  
***  
  
I guess I had the darkness and evil streak in me back then, Morgana's death was the start of a long downhill roll. I'd gladly repeat that incident today.. To anyone, Sith or Republican. I don't care, Dustil and Revan are the only things I cared for.. I don't even care for myself.  
  
***  
  
I woke up with a ferocious headache. That's when I heard a females voice outside my cell, someone had come to bail me out. The door to my holding cell opened and I lifted my head. I laughed manically.  
  
"An unwelcome visitor..."  
  
-----------  
  
Aroseb: Dustil haters must unite! hehe. 


	7. Banter

An Admiral's Tale - Chapter Seven  
  
Banter  
  
"I can't say I'm pleased to see you either." Bastila's rough voice replied to me. I just flashed her a grin.  
  
"Well gorgeous, I've heard better. Even from you." I brought both my hands up to my face and rubbed my chin thoughtfully.  
  
"Don't flatter yourself." Bastila told me as she shifted inside the cell uncomfortably.  
  
"I love flattering myself." I replied, sneaking up behind her. I started to chuckle softly and she turned to face me, I held my hands outwards for her and gave her a wink.  
  
"Don't you wink at me!" She said, her long black hair flowing gently in its ponytail. I dropped my hands again with a sigh.  
  
"I can do whatever I want." I said defying her, as I winked again.  
  
"Hmph!" Bastila replied, she was getting high and mighty. "You're under my command from now on. Master Revan was most displeased with you getting jailed. I've been sent here to bail you out." She told me. I smirked, this was the perfect opportunity to tease her. I averted my eyes upwards and chuckled slightly.  
  
"I can do whatever I want." I said again. After a long glare and a long silence, I decided to take another chance. "So you're still playing Revan's little lap dog eh?" I asked her, she raised her hand and slapped me across the face. "Man... That's becoming something of a habit for me."  
  
"You deserved it." She said smirking at me.  
  
"Oh, sure I did. Why don't you kill me? Oh wait.. I remember.. haha.. Revan would have you beheaded. She's much stronger than you, you know." I got another slap across the face for my taunting troubles. "ooh. Touchy. Heh. I say.. You are one gorgeous lady when you get angry." My eyes travelled up and down her body.  
  
"Quit it, Carth." She said, her seething jealousy of Revan apparent. But why was she so jealous? I carried on letting my eyes wander her figure, "Stop ogling me too." She let out a sigh. "Why don't you go back to the trembling shell shocked hovel of a man you usually are." She added, anger for me more than showing now.  
  
"Because I discovered that I can get away with it." I told her. I flashed her a satisfied grin.  
  
"You can't get away with it.. With me." Bastila replied to me, I gazed into her brown eyes for a moment. I decided to use my charm to my advantage.  
  
"I'll find out what makes you tick, one day.. Someday.." I smirked at her and softly winked at her again, however this time I didn't get a slap for my troubles. I got a blushing female instead. I lifted my hands up towards her as I carried on smiling, "Do you mind Bastila.. These cuffs really hurt." All she did was smirk at me and put her hands upwards to her hair, I quirked my eyebrows at her. What on Kun's name was she doing? "I get it. You're planning to cuff me to the bed and have your wicked way with me." I said smiling at her, she glared at me.  
  
"My wicked way with you would involve letting you starve to death..." She sighed. "Well.. I didn't get a key, but this should help you pick the lock. See you back at the apartment, tata." She said as her black hair flung from side to side, free suddenly. She threw her hair clip at me, turned her back and walked away. It didn't take me long to pick the lock on my cuffs, even though it was extremely difficult to do so. It wasn't exactly the first time I'd been banged up in a jail and had to free myself anyway.  
  
***  
  
"I smell caffa." I said as I entered the apartment sniffing the air, Bastila appeared with a cup of caffa and shoved it into my hands. She smiled at me. I laughed, "Do my eyes deceive me or did you just grin at me Bastila?"  
  
"I.. heh. Grinned at you, Admiral." Another blush from Bastila. Maybe taming her wasn't so hard after all, I was still interested in that conversation however. I decided to play the dangerous game again.  
  
"Remember that time when you were drunk and you said my voice and Telosian dialect is extremely sexy?" I asked her. Her face suddenly turned to thunder, this was extremely funny for me at the time. She raised her hand to slap me again but I used my right hand to catch her tiny wrist in motion. "I think you walked into that one gorgeous." Silence. She carried on glaring at me, it was stone cold. "So why are you jealous of Revan?" Silence again. She tried to use her other hand to slap me but I used a carefully practiced manuveur to wrap my arm around her waist and prevent her from doing so.  
  
"No force powers? No hocus pocus? My.. I think you're enjoying being grappled by a man like me." Silence yet again. This time she broke free of my grip and that was the last time we talked for a few hours. She turned to look at me once again, blushing before snorting in disgust and leaving. "Figures." I sipped my Caffa and sat down in the apartment, relaxing.  
  
***  
  
"Lord Revan. You requested to have my report and here it is." I gulped softly, not quite knowing how she would take all the news about me being jailed. But surely if she sent Bastila, it was fine. Wasn't it?  
  
"Wait. Before that, I received a communication about a Sith star cruiser entering Republican space. It's getting bombarded, I considered going after it and saving them poor fools.. But what do you think? You *are* Starfleet Admiral after all." She asked of me, it shocked me and I didn't know how to take it.  
  
"Not like you to save them, I say let them burn. If they let themselves get into such trouble like that they don't deserve me to help them with my tactics.. Anyway, my report Revan." I was feeling cruel today.. Then I gave Revan my report, just as she asked.  
  
"Yes... And about the jail incident.. What in Kun's name were you doing?" She asked me, I sighed and stared at her black cloaked figure on the holovid.  
  
"You could say that I.. "Bumped" into an old relation." I told her, being totally honest. I saw her nod over the holovid. "Happy to see me gorgeous?" I heard her groan when I complimented her.  
  
"I'm not in the mood. If I was there the last thing you'd see is your heart in my hand.. Just long enough until it.. Stops beating." She replied to me, I laughed nervously and switched the holo transmitter off.  
  
***  
  
I sat down at the table in the apartment opposite Bastila, their was still an awkward silence between us after our banter from before. I took a sip of my ale before placing it back down on the table top. However, I decided to break the silence and pushed a deck of Pazaak towards her way. "Wish to play?" I asked her, she looked at me then looked at the Pazaak cards as she picked them up and began to deal us four cards each. She placed the remainder in the middle and folded her arms. I was getting the silent treatment obviously.  
  
The game of Pazaak went on for a while under a haunted silence before I decided to speak again "I gave Revan my report" I said as I ruffled my hair gently and yawned, the star that Manaan orbited was just about setting and was streaming into the apartment. Terrible of me to not remember the name of it being a Pilot and all, but such fickle details didn't bother me. Still, their was silence. The whole game went on that way until I won "Heh. Beat ya." I claimed, knowing it would tease Bastila a little.  
  
"The reason why..." Came Bastila's soft voice, I raised my head as I claimed some of her credits for myself. I took a sip of my beer and placed it back on the table.  
  
"Go on." I commanded her. She thumbed the table with her delicate nails gently.  
  
"The reason why I'm jealous of Revan is because she seems to be the centre of attention, she achieves things I want... She has things I want.." She replied, I raised my eyebrow at her and bit my bottom lip carefully. I pondered this.  
  
"Go on.." I said as I took a deep breath.  
  
"Canderous is a brute. He-" Came my hard earned reply from Bastila. I leaned back in my chair and stretched, yawning softly. She was a difficult woman.  
  
"I don't wanna know sister.. Besides, you're not making sense." I told her, trying to get even more out of her.  
  
"I just want to be her, for a night. I know about your agreement with Revan." She replied to me, it was my turn to thumb the table softly, I blushed softly and pondered this. I nodded softly in her direction.  
  
"Do you honestly think that's wise?" I asked her, looking at the Pazaak cards that were dealed in my hand.  
  
"She'd kill us both for betraying her.. But I can make it worth your while, Carth." She told me, Bastila flashed me one of those innocent smiles and stood up walking to the side of the table. She was waiting for my answer. I put my cards on the table, in more ways than one.  
  
"How?" I asked her. She giggled softly at me.  
  
"I know you were listening the other day. I don't like it when people eavesdrop on my conversations" She said as she walked to my side and placed her hand over my hand. "You're interested in the deal, I can let you get involved." I swore she fluttered her eyelashes at me. I reached to cover her hand.  
  
"Yes.. I'd like that very much." I told her, my curiosity gotten the better of me. "I scratch your back, you scratch mine, right?" Even though I knew if what she had in mind was truly what she had in mind then I was going to win anyway.  
  
"Right. Then all you have to do is treat me like a lady tonight." She lifted my hand up now and slid down onto my lap, I wrapped my arms around her waist. In all honesty, I loathed the idea of this because of my feelings and involvement with Revan.. But half of me wanted to live on the dangerous side. Besides, Revan knew nothing of my feelings and I doubted she felt the same way.  
  
"Firstly, about Canderous-" I was interrupted.  
  
"He's a Mandalorian." She replied.  
  
"Ah.. Enough said. It's a deal gorgeous." I brushed one hand over her dark hair, stroking it gently. "It seems as if I've completed my quest on finding out what makes you tick." She giggled, I knew it was time to make a move.  
  
I leaned towards her, my head touched hers. My lips met her lips and we joined that way for what seemed like forever...  
  
-----------  
  
I spoiled you all and submitted two chapters today :(. 


	8. Encounters

An Admiral's Tale - Chapter Eight  
  
Encounters  
  
I left Bastila's sleeping form in the bed as I got up and started to get dressed into plain clothes. I stared in the mirror at myself. Since the Star Forge my look had changed dramatically, I'd shaved except for my goatee and some ridiculously stylish sideburns. My hair was cut shorter too. Now that I look back, it wasn't exactly the best look I'd ever adopted but it would do. I sat down at the table and heard Bastila softly tossing and turning in the bed behind me. I reached for my Caffa and started to drink slowly.  
  
"Carth.. Carth?" I heard Bastila say as she woke up, I turned to face her with the Caffa in my hand.  
  
"Yes Bastila?" I asked her as I took more precarious sips of my hot Caffa.  
  
"Do you want to know now?" She got up and wrapped the bedclothes around herself, I nodded softly in her direction as she sat down by me. "Me and Canderous.. Well.. I. I was going to kill Revan and become Master myself.. We were.. Going to use you, we noticed how Revan's feelings for you changed the very way she acts.. It's an ample time to strike." She said to me. So I had finally discovered the plan, but something still didn't seem right.  
  
"Heh. Thanks Bastila. You realise though that she will probably have no feelings for me now?" I asked her, I smirked at her. I was right when I said I would win either way.  
  
"She will! She loves you!" She exclaimed, I started to laugh. She must not have been thinking straight, surely. She sleeps with me, I cheat on a Sith Lord and she still expects Revan to love me? No no.. Be angry at me and decapitate me sounded extremely reasonable at the time. But I had won, and that's all I cared about. Even if Revan did love me then I wasn't losing anything anyway. I never expected her to have loved me, but when I found out that she did I also knew her feelings would not affect her battle with Bastila because of these current happenings. I chuckled to myself in victory.  
  
"Thanks for last night gorgeous, you're a *really* stupid lay." I told her, stroking her cheek. She pushed my hand away from her in disgust. I smirked at her and got up to leave the apartment.  
  
"Wait!" She said calling after me. I didn't heed her call, I left.  
  
"BASTARD!" Was the last thing I heard.  
  
***  
  
I walked aimlessly among the back streets of Ahto City in Manaan, it went uneventfully until I heard a familiar voice "Look guys, I don't have any credits so won't you just leave me alone?" That voice was unmistakingly Dustil's, I hid just around the corner from where the confrontation was occuring.  
  
"You haven't paid up, you owe us credits. Are we going to have to beat it out of you Soldier?" One of the gang members asked Dustil.  
  
"Look, guys. It's ok isn't it?" I heard Dustil say nervously, his breathing had quickened. "I'll get you your credits, I promise." He added.  
  
"Promises promises. It's always foolish words but no commanding actions." Another thug told Dustil.  
  
"Looks like we'll have to beat it out of you." I heard the first thug say, I ran around the corner and into the alley.  
  
"OVER my dead body." I yelled at them, they turned around and eyed me up and down. Dustil just looked in amazement.  
  
"Well, well, well. What do we have here, a hero?" A thug asked me, I smirked.  
  
"Damn straight." I punched the first thug and he was out cold, Dustil drawn his blaster and shot the other thug. Seems my boy was thinking quick.  
  
"Dustil.." I stared at him, he started to walk past me. He decided to be a hard man and brush his shoulder against mine in defiance, unfortunately he didn't realise that I was pretty strong and he bounced off me.  
  
"Get out of my way old man." Dustil said to me, infuriated that I stopped him from passing.  
  
"What are you gonna do, Dustil? Beat me up again?" I asked him, he shrugged and stayed still. "Just listen to me, I need your help." He started to laugh.  
  
"You have some guts, Dad. Especially after the other day. Why should I help you?" He asked me, I sighed and rubbed my forehead.  
  
"Because I'm a lonely man who loves his son, his only remenant of his beloved wife." I told him. My eyes welled up with tears. I outstretched my arms towards my son, at the time the only thing that ran through my head was "Please forgive me son, please hold me. Please just tell me that we're going to be ok." I'd never thought like that before. I realised I needed Dustil then more than ever and I needed his help to get me off this damn rock and hidden away from Revan's wrath.  
  
"Fine.. Fine. I'll listen, but only because my mother loved you and only because.. Because she'd turn in her grave if she knew I disowned you." I heard him say, I can't explain how that made me feel. It wasn't exactly a great comfort to me to know that my son didn't love me. I loved him terribly much, still do infact. I explained the long and lengthy story of what happened. "Well, Dad. I can help you get off this rock without you having too much trouble but after that.. It's up to you." I nodded in his direction.  
  
"Thankyou Dustil.. Thankyou." I reached towards him to hug him, but he backed away from me. I realised then, that he would never reconcile me like I reconciled him for becoming a Sith.  
  
***  
  
I rushed back to the apartment to gather my things. I had to work fast. I knew by now that Revan may be on her way to wipe me from the face of history. I waltzed into the apartment and what I saw surprised me, Bastila was crying on the floor, I thought she would have left by now. "Bastila, why are you crying?" I lay down beside her and her face was turned away from me. I put my hand on her chin and turned her face towards me.  
  
She'd been slapped across the face, by Canderous. He left a red mark for her troubles. "You're leaving?" She asked me. I nodded. "She's coming. Canderous informed her.. She's.. Not pleased." I nodded again, I knew this would happen.  
  
"You told him then.." I said to her, she nodded. "I guess it was too much for him.." I stood up and left her weeping there. I didn't want to comfort Bastila, I never liked her that much anyway. I was surprised that she let Canderous get the best of her so easily though.  
  
"I'll defeat Revan...." She muttered. Heh, it was ironic. She was defeated herself yet jealousy and hate seethed within her and threatened to rule the rest of her living days.. And mine if I carried on listening to her. I took everything I needed from the apartment and started to leave. "Carth..." She whispered. Again, I didn't stop. I didn't feel guilty for it either.  
  
"Bastard..." I heard her mutter through sniffles as I left.  
  
------------  
  
Aroseb: Lost all respect for Carth yet? :).  
  
Yagirl-123: I know you're reading this fic :P. I got your e-mail and I e- mailed back. 


	9. Fulfillment

An Admiral's Tale - Chapter Nine  
  
Fulfillment  
  
I was running towards the highest point in Ahto City. Every second, every step I took and every breath I exhaled counted now. I had to get out of there before Revan found me, it was fortunate that I had done enough to stop her from loving me and get her thinking like the true Sith Lord she is again but now I would be most fortunate if I escaped with my life. I waited on the balcony, the smugglers ship was nowhere to be seen. I kept waiting.  
  
"So it's the Republic Rancor making his escape." I knew that voice, I turned around. Canderous. I knew he'd come to pick a fight, "You think you can just sleep with a lady then run away? You're a weak man, Carth." He told me, I smirked at him.  
  
"I wasn't the one that slapped Bastila." I retorted to him, I wanted to break him like he broke me the day we sparred. The idea that I had slept with Bastila was suddenly attractive. I was going to torture the Mandalorian I loathed for so long. He walked closer to me and stopped around ten feet from my standing form.  
  
"I'm going to have fun breaking you little man, this is a matter of pride.. Your foolish charms wrecked the whole plan of Bastila becoming Sith Lord and because of that Revan won't feel any mercy for you. Heh. It almost comforts me, if I don't break you. Revan will instead. How embarassing, a woman, breaking you in half." He taunted at me, I laughed at him and smirked.  
  
"Ahh.. Well. How embarassing, a man, breaking you in half." I charged for him and punched him with a right hook, it stunned him a little bit but he was a Mandalorian. He'd come back. Canderous pounced onto me and I tumbled onto the floor. He began kicking me while I was down, "Coward!" I yelled at him. I managed to hook my legs around his feet and send him crashing onto the ground.  
  
I wanted to play with his mind a little more. "It was fun with Bastila, I don't even think she cared for you last night." Canderous' features turned to thunder, his face became distorted with anger as his teeth were tightly gnawing against each other. He wanted my blood. He wasn't going to get it. I wanted his blood more.  
  
He tackled me head first into my stomach as I went crashing into the wall, my head slammed against the metal surface as I brought my knee up to an extremely sensitive area of his anatomy. Canderous managed to block and broke the wrestle we got ourselves into. He went to jab me in the face. I quickly ducked sending his fist straight into the wall. He yelped in pain as some of his fingers broke under the impact.  
  
"Had enough, Canderous?" I asked him. His face was still filled with anger, his brow was furrowed. He was panting, breathing wildly in rage. I can't forget the look on his face, it was a look that said it all. He wanted to kill me in cold blood.  
  
"I will never have enough of the battle, especially when I break every bone in your body!" He exclaimed to me, this time I was on the defensive. I felt a flurry of punches come up to my face and then I felt the familiar gush of ruby red blood. I retaliated, delivering enough flurries of my own to knock out a Rancor.  
  
Unfortunately, Mandalorians are not Rancors.  
  
It wasn't working, Canderous was just too strong for me. I had to find a way to knock him out and fast. Time was becoming way too tight.  
  
He charged for me with both of his hands and I grappled them both with my own hands. It was suddenly a game of strength and I knew I was going to be vastly overpowered by this brute. I wasn't aware of it but Canderous had slipped a blade into his overcoat, it slipped through into his right hand while we were wrestling but I still didn't see it until it was too late.  
  
"Ah!" I gasped as I felt the blade slice across my right cheek. This was getting desperate. Canderous had a weapon, I had my bare fists. I touched my cheek and my hand was filled with thick blood.  
  
"And you call yourself a Mandalorian!" I taunted at him. I knew then that the cut was going to leave one bad scar. He charged for me with his weapon and I dodged out the way, I knew this was my chance. I skillfully headbutted Canderous and he was dazed for a moment. At that point, I swore I saw some movement out the corner of my eye. I ignored it.  
  
"Weak.. Pathetic.. Mandalorian." I said to the rabid Kath Hound, making him even angrier.  
  
"I'll kill you SCUM!" He ran towards me in a fit of rage and gave me ample time to scissor kick him in the jaw, the force of the kick threw his head back and knocked him out cold.  
  
He fell onto the floor in a heap. "Fulfillment.. Finally." I whispered to his unconcious body.  
  
I heard some snickering behind me, I was not imagining that movement after all. Then came the mock-like clapping.  
  
"Bravo!"  
  
---------  
  
Aroseb: I feel like I'm writing for you and you only. :D  
  
Everyone else: If yer reading it.. Just drop me a line! Let me know how you feel about it. 


	10. Sacrifices

An Admiral's Tale - Chapter Ten  
  
Sacrifices  
  
The sarcastic clapping finally stopped. I heard a soft chuckle and a lightsabre being turned on, I held my hands up in surrender and turned around. Revan. It was too late. I was on death's door and I was knocking on it. Her hand passed over her face and cloak as it slid off her with the force, it revealed her to be in Dark Jedi robes. I stared at her for a while. Her tightly curled auborn hair fell gently over her shoulders and her eyes were void of all colour. Her face was pale but full of interweaving black veins, the dark side had corrupted her in more ways than one. I tried to remember what Revan looked like before the events of the Star Forge, but like my wife her face fell from my mind. It was so empty in my head.  
  
Revan twirled her lightsabre effortlessly in her hand before speaking. "You must pay for your betrayal." She told me. I cocked my head to the side. I knew this was it.  
  
"Their's something you must know, Revan." I told her, it was too late. She ran towards me gracefully, her fighting style was all but common. I dodged her swipe and heard the sparks fly from the lightsabre as it hit the ground. "I won't fight you, Revan." I told her. She gave me a steely look and threw her lightsabre towards me.  
  
I jumped to the left and rolled as I hit the ground, the lightsabre hit the wall and made another vicious noise. I knew the blade of light would be coming back to Revan, I heard it coming towards me and I rolled to the right missing the lightsabre by mere inches. She was not herself. Her fighting style ached of something and I couldn't decide what.  
  
"Strike me down, Revan!" I all but begged her. We both knew I wouldn't last long if she really tried to kill me, at the moment she was merely toying with me. She stood there, staring at me on the floor. "I'll make it easier for you." I got up on my knees and opened my arms wide, inviting her to take me out of my misery. Still her firm grip on her lightsabre remained. She stood with her legs apart and was poised in her fighting stance.  
  
She stayed silent, glaring at me with those cold, heartless eyes. She raised her hand and beckoned me to come towards her. "You want me to fight you, Revan?" She nodded and I laughed. Revan walked towards me and stood infront of me trying to intimidate me, I got up to my feet. We were face to face. I stared into her eyes. They were colourless bottomless pits, they offered me no solace. I felt the heat of the lightsabre eminating but a few feet from my neck. She pulled a face of disgust and made a move to decapitate me, in a rush of fear I grabbed her hand and stopped the lightsabre in mid-motion.  
  
I grappled with her hand and she tried to outmatch my strength without the use of the force, I realised now. She wasn't fighting with anger.  
  
She was fighting with pain..  
  
I'd hurt her more than I could have imagined, but it was for her own good. We both wouldn't have lived *this* long if I didn't agree to Bastila's idea. Because of Revan refusing to use the force to increase her strength I got the upper hand, I managed to kick the lightsabre out of her hand and I threw it over the open balcony sending it crashing into the Sea. She was disarmed.  
  
This was my *incredibly* lucky day..  
  
Now that she was disarmed she had no option but to listen to me. "Revan, now please listen.." I told her, she walked towards me and stared at me once more. She force pushed me to the edge of the balcony. I got up onto my feet.  
  
Her hand reached out for my throat as I began to choke. I coughed and spluttered as I felt the air being squeezed away from my throat, "Revan.. Revan" I said in between coughs. "Before you *Cough* Kill me.." I spluttered violently. Revan stopped choking me and I fell backwards in surprise. She grabbed hold of my shirt, the only life line holding me between the balcony and the Sea.  
  
"What?" She asked me.  
  
"Bastila wants to kill you! I did it because I could prove her betrayal.. I did it because you love me and if you didn't hate me you would feel mercy when they came to kill me and sacrifice yourself.." I told her, I swore the Sith Lord blushed.  
  
"What rubbish.." She stated to me, she shrugged.  
  
"You and I both know it isn't rubbish Revan. I saw you spare that officers life! They knew you were weak.. Were changing." She shook her head in disbelief as she kept a firm grip on my body, she looked behind her and nodded in Canderous' direction.  
  
"What about him?" She asked.  
  
"He was in it too." I replied, my body still dangling precariously over the edge. She snorted and rolled her eyes in disgust. Canderous groaned and sat up.  
  
"It's true Revan." He said, I was shocked. "That little minx had you set up hook, line and sinker as far as Carth was involved." She turned to face Canderous, then turned to face me and looked straight in my eyes. I felt her tug me back onto the balcony so I could stand safely on my own, her hand however still had a tight grip on my shirt.  
  
"I must kill her." She said to me.  
  
"I'm not coming with you." I smiled softly at her, one of her eyebrows arched at me.  
  
"I've betrayed you..."  
  
"I've wronged you..."  
  
"I love you and you'll never believe me..."  
  
"Just let me die in peace..."  
  
I softly ripped her hand from my shirt, throwing my arms out to the side as I dived backwards off the balcony.  
  
As I plumetted to my doom I felt the soft wind whistle and brush through the fingers on my palms. I closed my eyes and the wind buffeted my hair.  
  
I felt serene.  
  
I hit the water with devestating force...  
  
I was finally at peace. 


	11. Cold trip

An Admiral's Tale - Chapter Eleven  
  
Cold Trip  
  
I was surrounded, trapped inside a vast ocean of water. It was as cold as ice. When I hit the water, it knocked me unconcious.  
  
"Carth...." No... Please... Not this...  
  
"We need you...." Not now...  
  
"Don't leave me...." I'd never leave you intentionally...  
  
"Do I have to beg?" Don't...  
  
"It isn't safe here.. You know that.." I thought it was...  
  
"I just have a bad feeling..." Do I have to beg my own mind not to show me this?  
  
"Don't go back..." I had to.. I had to do my duty..  
  
"Stop justifying yourself with bantha fodder.." Ugh..  
  
"You..." I..?  
  
I opened my eyes. Morgana was staring at me, conviction in her eyes. Her hands were placed firmly on her hips and she was berating me. I'd seen this memory.. Too many times. Her long brown hair flowed freely and her big brown eyes were greeting mine. Not the usual way they greeted me though, they were full of fire. Strangely enough, I couldn't remember her exact face. I never really could, no matter how hard I tried.  
  
"You can't leave. You can't. You've only just come back! What about Dustil?" She asked me, I shifted around uncomfortably and stayed silent. "So you're just gonna stand there and stay quiet? Carth! You make me sick!" She spat at me.  
  
"You make me sick too, with your lack of understanding Morgana." I told her. She looked at me with disgust and tears in her eyes.  
  
"Lack of understanding? I've.." She choked softly on tears before continuing, I wanted to reach out to hold her. To tell her I was sorry for retaliating like I did. "I've only seen you once in the past year.." A few tears rolled down her cheeks. "How can we be a family when you're never here? I have this terrible feeling Dustil won't even know his father."  
  
I sighed. "Look.. The Sith can be defeated, we triumphed against the Mandalorians and we'll do the same again. Please Morgana, I have to fight for your freedom, for little D's too. The Republic needs me.. As soon as it's all over, I'll come back. I promise." I walked over to her and gingerly wiped away her tears with my fingers.. Gently.  
  
"I just get scared something terrible will happen" She told me. I sighed and nodded. I wrapped one hand around her waist and used my other hand to stroke her silky hair. I made sure I buried her head in my shoulder.  
  
"It'll be ok." I whispered into her ears, over and over as I carried on stroking her hair. When I look back. I was a failure as a husband. I failed to listen to her, she was headstrong, persistant. Sometimes damn foolish.. Just like Revan. "I love you, Morgana.."  
  
I was suddenly spinning and not able to stop, the colours of the room blurred viciously. And now I was on Telos, it was burning.  
  
I ran aimlessly, just like I did when it happened for real.  
  
Fire.. Blood.. Despair.. Anguish.. Fire.. Blood.. Fire.. Red.. Ruins.. Smoke.. Air.. Oxygen.. Trees.. Red.. Trees.. Blood.. Dying.. Death.. Anger.. So angry now.  
  
Angry at myself. Hating myself. The failure that I am.  
  
Morgana.  
  
Blood.. Despair.. Anguish.. Fire.. All around. Anger.. Hate.. Death..  
  
MORGANA!  
  
Tears.. Everything burning... Everything.  
  
My fault.. Could have stopped it.  
  
Could have... But couldn't.  
  
Failure.. Blood.. Redness.. Hands filled with blood.. Morgana.. Morgana's face filled with blood.  
  
No.. No.. Please...  
  
Screaming.. Help me please... Shivering.. So cold.. Trembling.. Someone help...  
  
Mor-Morgana...  
  
Precious Morgana..  
  
MORGANA!!!  
  
Dead.  
  
Gone.  
  
I was clutching her body in my arms tightly, I was spinning again and unable to stop.  
  
Endar Spire. The Cantina.  
  
I opened my eyes as I sipped my poison gently, I scanned around me and took in everything that was going on.  
  
It was empty. Except for one lone woman smoking her cigarra, her tightly curled auborn hair fell softly onto her shoulders and her emerald green eyes met mine. I stood by her.  
  
"You're the one the Jedi's requested be placed onboard." I greeted her with, she looked up at me and nodded slowly. Smoke came up to my face and I blew it away calmly. "May I?" I asked her as I drawn the chair out gently from under the table.  
  
"What are you asking me for? You're going to do it anyway." She shrugged to me. I sat down and kept drinking my ale.  
  
"What's your name?" I asked her. Her eyebrows furrowed and she took another deep inhale of her cigarra.  
  
"Nima D'Graven." Came her reply. I smiled at her.  
  
"Pretty name. I guess I don't need any introductions." Nima looked at me quizzically. She regarded me gently and then broke the silence with a sigh.  
  
"Surprise me. I don't know you." I was shocked, after the Mandalorian wars a lot of people knew my face, knew who I was and knew my deeds. Nima didn't however.  
  
"My name's Carth Onasi, I'm an advisor for this mission.. Hence the plain clothes sister." I said with a soft smile, Nima still regarded me however. She was none the wiser. She shook her head and giggled.  
  
"Can't say I know you." She said to me, she smiled.  
  
"Right. Well.. I'm a Commander in the Republic Fleet, I was on my vacation when I was told to do this ridiculous mission.. Believe you and me, I'd rather not be here." I smiled back at her and she took another puff of her cigarra. Her face was set in stone and shown no emotion or sympathy with me. "Right.. Well.. I'm off. See ya Nima." I said to her and promptly left.  
  
She was one strange woman! Hah. Now I knew why.  
  
I exited the door and I wasn't where I was supposed to be. I was meant to be in a corridoor. Instead, I was in the Endar Spire's mess hall.  
  
"Beat him down, Nima!" One of the officers exclaimed, I watched as their was a fight ontop of one of the tables. Bastila was standing beside me, she was in shock. Her hand covered her mouth in surprise. I jumped up onto the table and threw the officer off Nima and looked at her.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" She spat at me. I just looked at her in surprise. I offered her a hand to help her up but she knocked it away from me. I turned to look at Bastila and I shrugged.  
  
The room was spinning out of control and I felt dizzy.  
  
I was in my office. Nima was sitting opposite me, I had to discipline her for starting the fight, I'd seen this memory a few times. It was one of my more fonder memories.  
  
"You know that was wrong, right recruit?" I asked her. She nodded.  
  
"Yes Sir, it won't happen again Sir." She told me, I lay back in my chair and sighed, it was getting late. "I don't want to go through all the reasons why, I'm pretty sure you're sensible, sister." She smiled. The first time I had noticed her beautiful smile since she introduced herself to me. "Dismissed." Nima stood up and saluted at me, when she got to the door she stopped.  
  
I was waiting for her to say it, but my mind played tricks on me. She didn't.  
  
She was supposed to say, "You're a pretty cool officer."  
  
She came back and started punching me across the face, time after time again.  
  
"Wake up!" Nima called to me, her emerald eyes glowing. I closed my eyes and opened them. I was still in the same room.  
  
I screamed. Black veins, colourless eyes. Revan. She was punching me and begging me to wake up.  
  
"Wake up! Wake up!" She called out to me. I kept screaming uncontrollably.  
  
"WAKE UP!!!"  
  
"REVAAAAAAAAN!"  
  
------------  
  
Madison Desdemona: Oops :). He isn't dead obviously :).  
  
Anyone else out there reading this? ^_^. 


	12. Curse me Curse life Curse everything

An Admiral's Tale - Chapter Twelve  
  
Curse me. Curse life. Curse everything.  
  
"REVAN! REVAN! REVAN!" I screamed over and over, I was being restrained and I was trying to fight my way out of it. I got a few more smacks around my face for my troubles.  
  
"DAD I'm not Revan.." Dustil informed me, after a while it settled in. I took a deep breath and put my hand on my head. It was Dustil who was telling me to wake up after all. "Your injuries are pretty bad, let me inject this Kolto into you." He got the Kolto and started to inject it into me. The pain of my injuries were supressed. I gazed at my son, he was wet too. It clicked. Dustil must have saved me from my death. I was at the very bottom of Ahto City and the ocean was but a few feet from where I was resting.  
  
"Thanks.." I said trailing off. He just looked back at me strangely.  
  
"Look, you have to get out of here.. We heard that the Sith are coming-" He told me, my eyes widened.  
  
"What?!" I said in surprise, Dustil had to restrain me from bolting up from the ground.  
  
"It's Bastila.. She's managed to convince the Sith to attack Revan.. Revan's gone to fight her." I rubbed my head again as Dustil told me this. "It's almost ironic, Revan will be helping us by defeating Bastila.. I don't know how Bastila's done it." I sighed, why wasn't I surprised?  
  
"I can harbour some guesses, but they aren't pretty.. That foul woman." I muttered to my son, I tried to move again and I was restrained. I looked to the right, floating in the Sea was Revan's lightsabre. "Great, she's going to come here." I told him. Dustil saw me looking at the water and he turned his head and nodded.  
  
Dustil carefully moved my body behind some supply crates and sure enough Revan came. "Excuse me, Republicans" She said as she reached out for her lightsabre, it came towards her and she left. A collective sigh left the room, she obviously influenced people with more fear than I could possibly imagine.  
  
"Dad.. The smuggler's ship, you have to escape." Dustil said to me, I nodded and got up to move. I groaned a little but I'd been in worse pain before. My son grabbed my hand and helped me up, it took me by surprise.  
  
"Again.. Thankyou. But I can't say I admire your timing." I smiled at him jokingly and he smiled back.  
  
"I.. It isn't the time to explain father.." He told me, his grip on my hand tightened and my eyes met my sons. It was beautiful.  
  
He shook my hand and drew me closer..  
  
He wrapped an arm around me and patted my back.  
  
It was wonderful.  
  
I wrapped my own arm around him in surprise, tears threatened to fall from my eyes. The son I never knew, the son I never had. He was here, he was holding me. He was like..  
  
Like me.  
  
"Curse Revan.. Curse Bastila for everything.." I told him, he looked at me puzzledly.  
  
"Father.." He said to me, the emotion getting the better of him too.  
  
"I'm going to forget about the both of them, if it's the last thing I do.. Damn them. Damn myself. Damn it all. I'm such a failure." I told my son, I've failed him. I've failed everyone at some point in my life. At that point I wished I was never born.  
  
"You really have to go.. I know the Republic and Sith are going to hunt you tirelessly.. My Commanding Officer is only letting me do this because you're my father.. If anyone else finds out.." I shook my head at him, I more than understood what the duty to the Republic entailed.  
  
***  
  
I was at the Smuggler's ship. Dustil was standing besides me, it was time we parted and went our seperate ways.  
  
"Dustil. If I never see you again.. Remember that I love you. Always." I told him, he raised his head towards me. I didn't expect him to reply, I didn't want him to reply. "I failed you. I'm the type of guy that fail's everyone, but I never ever once stopped loving you." I also told him. Tears threatened to fall and they pricked at his eyelids.  
  
"I.. I love you too.." He said, it was all I needed. I rushed back towards Dustil and held him tightly in my arms, he was crying. I only needed to see him crying to start crying myself. "If mother could forgive you.. I can forgive you too." He whispered in my ear through the tears.  
  
"I failed you son..."  
  
We parted from our embrace and I started to walk up the ramp into the Smuggler's ship.  
  
"I failed everyone..." I whispered to him, he waved at me and shook his head in disbelief. I waved back, sadly.  
  
"I'm a failure..."  
  
------------  
  
Allronix: Thanks for reviewing :). 


	13. A Failure's Tale : Failing everyone

A Failure's Tale - Chapter One  
  
Failing everyone  
  
Now that I look back, it was pathetic really. I lay back in the bunk that I was on and threw the covers over me, I was depressed. I didn't bother to wash, eat or drink in two days. The smuggler, Rivu, was getting a little concerned over me. She was a Twi'lek. She was a wonderful shade of purple and she probably got a lot of flack and jealousy from fellow Twi'lek females.  
  
"Hey you. Wake up already." I heard her say, I groaned at her and threw the covers further over my head however Rivu kept persisting in getting me up and about. "Hey, I don't want you dying on this ship or customs are gonna get a bit mad at me.. I don't like corpses. Now take this!" She shoved a drink onto my stomach and I appeared from under the covers.  
  
"Thanks.. But no thanks." I told her, I shoved the drink back in her hands.  
  
"Hey! That's my speciality you ignorant Rancor!" Rivu reminded me of Mission, terribly. I just glared at her emotionlessly.  
  
"Excuse me?" I asked. She shoved the drink up to my lips silently and frowned at me. I got the message and began to drink her concoction. I pulled a face and spat it out, it tasted gross! Unfortunately I spat it out onto Rivu's shirt. "Er..." She shook her head at me as she began to brush the horrid concoction off her shirt.  
  
"Oh well.. At least it got your attention. What's the matter? How come you've barely moved?" I put my hand over my eyes, averting them away from the bright light of the bunk room.  
  
"Go away.." I told her, she shook her head.  
  
"I'm worried." She replied. I looked in the mirror that was placed on the wall by my bunk, I was terribly pale and I needed a shave. My short light brown hair was greasy.  
  
"You're not like the everyday smuggler." I told her as I turned, facing her.  
  
"You're not like the everyday human. So who was she?" Rivu asked. The words made me shudder, why did she have to bring a woman into the equation? Well, I knew why. She's a woman and women have a sense for these things. I suppose I was heartbroken over Revan, if you *could* say that. What I mean by that is, I hadn't thought of Revan for two days, I had a penchant for forgetting things. Revan was one thing I'd love to forget. But I knew that she would always nag at me in the back of my mind for a long, long time.  
  
"I'm waiting." She told me, as she folded her arms and tapped her foot on the cold floor in impatience.  
  
"Carry on then, sister." I said as I threw the covers back over my head and groaned in my own self wallow and pity. She grabbed the covers and threw them off my body revealing my naked form. I groaned and covered my lower body with both my hands. "Did you have to do that?" I asked her in an annoyed fashion. She giggled, albeit a little nervously.  
  
"Sorry. I didn't know." She said averting her eyes away from my body  
  
"Stop ogling me already and BACK off kid!" I shouted at her, she looked at me in surprise and ran off with my bedsheet covers. "Right! What's your problem?" I yelled after her as I got up chasing her as best a man can whilst being totally nude.  
  
I peeped my head and torso around the opening in the corridoor, Rivu was standing on the other side of the room. "That was rude, Rivu." I told her, she was only young. To hazard a guess I would have said at the time that Rivu was twenty maybe twenty one.  
  
"Like I said. I'm sorry, I didn't know." She replied to me sniffing the bedclothes and cringing at their stench, I must have smelt pretty bad.  
  
"If you were sorry, you would have given them back to me, sister." I reminded her kindly as I beckoned for her to throw me my bedclothes back. She had other ideas however.  
  
"If you weren't such a nasty old kook you wouldn't have yelled at me and you'd have your bedclothes back, BROTHER." She retorted to me, disgust etched on her face. She was definitely young.  
  
"Look..-" I sighed. "Look. Ok, I'm sorry for shouting. Can I have my bedclothes back now please?" I asked her nicely, she grinned at me evily.  
  
"No." She said.  
  
"What?" I asked in total surprise and confusion, she started to walk towards me.  
  
"I was kidding Mister Serious. Gee-Whizz!" She said to me as she handed me my bedclothes.  
  
I sniffed them and coughed. "You were right Rivu, these smell pretty bad." I said to her.  
  
"Not half as bad as you Mister." She replied to me, it occured to me that I hadn't told her my name yet. I wrapped the bedsheets around my lower body and came from around from the corner. "That's better!" She exclaimed to me as her head tails wrapped around her neck defensively.  
  
"Hey! I don't look that bad do I?" I asked her with a smile. How did I manage to keep up a uncracked exterior when I was being torn to shreds inside? I'd always been this way. Always fighting my demons that threatened to burn me to cinders.  
  
"I dunno. Human Males aren't really my scene, I'm into Twi'leks. Duh." Rivu replied to me with sass.  
  
"Ok, sister." I told her, I felt bad for her really. I was incredibly dangerous cargo. The Republic and the Sith wouldn't mind getting their hands on me and torturing me to death at that point. Although that thought was kind of attractive to me and reflected the way I felt. I was a failure at many things after all. "I'll go get refreshed and then I'll keep you company, alright?" I told her, Rivu just nodded in my direction and I retired to my quarters.  
  
***  
  
I returned after my sonic shower and sat in the co-pilots chair in the cockpit admiring the streams of hyperspace passing me by. "Where are we going?" I asked her.  
  
"Anchorhead, Tatooine." She replied to me taking a long sip on some Caffa. I needed a Cigarra. I wasn't one for smoking but I had to relax, I had to escape from all my thoughts, my troubles. I needed to talk to Rivu, she would be my only company for a while.  
  
"Say Rivu.. You got any Cigarra's?" I asked her. I watched her pat her left pocket then she moved to her right as she reached in and got some Cigarra's out, handing me her packet.  
  
"The Onasi kid said you'd like them, he said they were your favourite." Rivu told me. That was a long time ago, when I *was* one for smoking. These were my favourite brand, they were called Kepirs. I stared at the packet before opening it up and placing a Cigarra in my mouth. I lay back in the chair and took one long puff staring up at the ceiling at nothing in particular.  
  
"So you know Dustil?" She asked me, a hint of suspicion in her voice. I barely heard her question as I kept staring at the ceiling thinking about the past few days on Manaan. "Well did you?" Rivu asked, a bit more agitated now. This time I heard her but I kept on smoking my Cigarra and staring at the ceiling. I pondered how to answer this question. I lied.  
  
"No." I answered her, she burst out laughing.  
  
"You must be in a lot of trouble to deny that you don't even know your own son Carth Onasi." She told me. I turned towards her and raised an eyebrow, so she knew who I was after all.  
  
"'Kay Rivu.. How'd you know?" The question earned me another cruel laugh.  
  
"Dustil told me of course!" She exclaimed, I just smiled at her.  
  
"What else did he tell you?" I asked her. I was scared of the situation now, I didn't want Rivu to go blabbing her mouth off to anyone.  
  
"Nothing. Just that you were his father, Carth Onasi. Of course, everyone knows that name and your face but say.. Since you shaved.. And.. Well.. Earned that scar across your cheek I'd say you look a little bit different." She informed me, my Cigarra was running out now and I rubbed my cheek. I felt the nasty scar on the side of my face.  
  
When I rubbed it I compared it to my love for Revan. It will always be there and never heal, she might as well have dealt me the scar instead of Canderous. Oh, how I wanted her out my mind and out my life after our last encounter.  
  
Fortunately, I had the latter.  
  
"I need a new name." I told her, my Cigarra burnt out and I rubbed the butt of it on the panel that seperated the co-pilot from the pilot. She nodded her head.  
  
"I have a nice one. How about.. Revan?" Rivu said. I groaned and pulled a face at her, the kid knew how to make me angry.  
  
"It's a girls name." I replied through my teeth as the mention of her name was enough for me to pull another Cigarra out the packet and light up.  
  
"What was she like.. Revan.. The Star Forge adventure and all that?" Rivu asked me, she was curious over Revan and I didn't want to fill in the gaps for her curiosity.  
  
Yet.  
  
It became apparent to me however that she didn't know anything about the special affiliation I had with the Sith *or* Revan for that matter.  
  
I shrugged my shoulders and sighed as I slumped in my chair. "I really don't want to talk on it. Can you please think of a name sister?" I asked her, Rivu was defeating me. She was a bit like Mission and I found myself growing fond of the kid.  
  
"Ok.. Ok.. Time to be serious." She informed me, then a grin crept across the corners of her mouth. "However.. If I help you with a name, you have to tell me about Revan later. Deal?" She asked me, I groaned and I rubbed my hand across my face.  
  
"I guess it'll have to be." I told Rivu. She smiled and nodded in my direction.  
  
"How about Jaro?" Rivu asked me, I loved the sound of that name as soon as I heard it. I grinned.  
  
"That's fantastic. Jaro-what though? I need a second name." I told her, she slumped down in her chair and sipped on her Caffa. I pulled the Cigarra to my mouth and took another long inhale, then I remembered to look at my packet of Cigarra's in the first place. I looked at the name.  
  
Kepirs.  
  
Now it was my turn to smile.  
  
"Say Rivu.. If I think of a second name the deal has to change." I told her, she frowned at me and was probably thinking of all the dirty names she could possibly call me.  
  
"How much?" Rivu enquired with a hint of annoyance in her voice.  
  
"Well. If I don't like what you ask me about *her* and the Star Forge.. I have the right to stop the conversation-" I said to her, she was about to interrupt and I glared at her "Let me finish." I said to Rivu. "And once I tell you about it I don't want you to ask me about it ever again." I told her, she thought about it for a while and I'd almost finished my second Cigarra. "Also, you're not allowed to ask me questions about my past.. My life in the Republic as an officer and all that. I'll only sate your hunger of the admiration of your.. Heh... Hero.. Or should I say heroine?"  
  
"Fine.. But she isn't my heroine.. She could have let the Star Forge be destroyed. " Rivu muttered almost inaudibly. I ignored her.  
  
"My second name shall be Kep. Jaro Kep."  
  
--------  
  
Big thanks to Aroseb who helped with the name :). yay! you go girl.  
  
Mara Jade2: Woot! Thanks for reviewing :). 


	14. Newsbreak

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Two  
  
Newsbreak  
  
I sat back in the co-pilots seat and waited for Rivu's reply as I put my second Cigarra butt out on the panel seperating the both of us. "It sounds good. Unfortunate that you stole it from your Cigarra packet though." She told me, I just smiled.  
  
"But does it sound good enough to get away with and not be recognised?" I asked her, Rivu nodded in my direction.  
  
"Yeah, but I'd cut your hair just a little bit shorter." Rivu replied to me, my hand went up to my head and I started to rub it. I decided that my hair could go a little bit shorter. "You're going grey too." She added. I raised my eyebrow at her.  
  
"I am?" I asked, she smiled and gave a little nod.  
  
"Poor Human males." She said. I watched as Rivu thumbed out some darkened shades out her pocket, she got to her feet and I shook my hand at her.  
  
"Oh no sister. I'm not wearing them." I told her. Rivu smiled and placed the shades on me anyway. She placed one hand on her hip and one hand on her chin as she regarded me carefully.  
  
"Yep. Just as I thought." I looked at her puzzledly. "Don't worry, they suit you Carth. Or should I say.. Jaro?" I smiled at her and decided to take her word for it. She gave me one long stare. "Now you have to fulfill your part of the deal." She told me, I groaned.  
  
"So soon?" I asked, she nodded. I suppose I'd have to keep my end of the deal up.  
  
"When did you meet Revan?" She asked me, I sighed and rested far back in my chair.  
  
"I was the Endar Spire's advisor, a Commander in the Republic Fleet. I met Revan in the onboard Cantina one night, she went by the name of Nima D'Graven back then." I told her, I'd play Rivu's game of twenty questions. She'd be damned if I'd add more than that however.  
  
"What did she look like back then?" Rivu said as she sat back down and shifted around in her seat filling her glass up with more Caffa.  
  
"Curly auborn hair, emerald green eyes, pale.. Avid smoker.. Heh. Nice legs, big-" I was interrupted.  
  
"I'm female, I didn't want to know that much." Rivu said with a chuckle, I coughed.  
  
"Uh. Yes of course. What's next?" I asked her as I blushed.  
  
"How many times did you meet her before the attack on the Endar Spire?" Rivu asked me, I fingered another Cigarra out the packet. "Geeeeeeze. Another one? That's three in half an hour!" She exclaimed, I ignored her and lit it.  
  
"I'm feelin' edgy." I told her. Rivu kept her eyes fixed on me though wanting me to continue. "Oh right.. Well four times." I looked up to the ceiling and puffed a bit of my Cigarra. "Five if you include the time we hopped into the life pod together." I added.  
  
"Describe the four times." Rivu asked of me.  
  
"First time, in the cantina. Second time, she was in a fight. Third time, I was disciplining her. Fourth time, she was on the bridge working on navigation. Fifth time, she dived into a life pod with me which knocked her unconcious for a couple of days after the crash landing on Taris." I said to Rivu as I took another long puff on my Cigarra. I gazed at her through the shades.  
  
"Revan was a navigator?" Rivu asked. I started to laugh.  
  
"She reaked like a Rancor at it. She kept making too many miscalculations, she'd come up to me with them and show me them and I'd be like. "No they're completely off course." Naturally, I made her go back several times until she got it right.. I failed to notice one thing however.... Like I fail to notice everything" I sighed and took the Cigarra away from my lips.  
  
"What was that?" Rivu enquired as she turned her whole seat to face me now.  
  
"On her final attempt she made one slight miscalculation, I punched them in and ended up right ontop of the Sith at Taris. It's completely unlike me to make a mistake like that." I told her. I sighed softly and scratched my head nervously.  
  
"Maybe it was the force." Rivu said to me with a grin, I grinned back. Now that I look back, yeah, maybe it *was* the force. "What was she like for the most part?" Rivu asked.  
  
"On the light side.. Bastila corrupted her though." I told her. Rivu frowned and took a sip of Caffa. I extinguished my third butt.  
  
Thank the force she didn't ask many questions after that.  
  
Instead she flicked a switch and the holo vid came on.  
  
"And now for some breaking news." The news caster announced, now *that* got my attention. It wasn't everyday you heard some breaking news.  
  
"Apprentice of the Dark Lord Revan is dead. Two days ago a fierce battle took place between Apprentice and Master, the Master bested her." I smiled, I knew Revan would do it somehow.  
  
"But here is the best part. Dark Lord Revan is dead, her robes and lightsabre were found at the scene."  
  
No..  
  
No.  
  
This can't be. My mind raced, the Cigarra packet dropped from my hand and clattered on the floor. Rivu looked at me.  
  
"That's great news!" She exclaimed, "Maybe they can take down that bloody Star Forge now!" She cried.  
  
I stood there, watching the man's face on the holovid. I looked at the scene they filmed, her robes, her lightsabre.  
  
Lying there.  
  
Revan was dead? It wasn't sinking in. "Carth, are you ok?" Rivu asked me. I kept staring in amazement.  
  
"She can't be dead Rivu." I told her, she looked at me quizically.  
  
"She is.." Rivu replied.  
  
"No.." I answered back shaking my head back and forth in confusion.  
  
"She's gone."  
  
----------  
  
Vivid Scripts: hah Thanks for reviewing.. Welcome to the party! I'm glad you made it in time to join us crazy kotorians! Well, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.. It's coming along pretty nicely at the moment.. well.. if their's anything else review or e-mail.. Same goes for everyone :). 


	15. A year later

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Three  
  
A year later..  
  
She was dead.  
  
She had to be.  
  
I was hungover and drunk at the same time.. If that was even possible. All I seemed to do for the past year was drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink my life away into total oblivion.  
  
I was free of the Sith, but did I care?  
  
No.  
  
Curse Dustil. Curse him for saving my life. I wish I could be grateful but I couldn't be grateful, not with Revan dead.  
  
And whose fault was it? It was mine.  
  
The failure.  
  
The one and only.  
  
Carth Onasi.  
  
I wished sometimes. I wished for her ghost to come down and strike me dead, the only thing I deserved was death and even death seemed too good for a man like me.  
  
I was a monster.  
  
A filthy beast.  
  
A filthy creation.  
  
I'd given up hope, all hope. My hope of finding Revan was gone, my hope of her being alive was gone. But I'd never searched for her. No.. I resigned myself to that "Trembling hovel of a man" I am.  
  
Am I.. Even a man?  
  
I'm Jaro Kep.  
  
Maybe if I can hide away from that name.  
  
From that.. Filthy name.  
  
That.. Cursed name.  
  
Maybe then I could be the man I should have been.  
  
To everyone.  
  
To Morgana, to Dustil.. To Revan.  
  
If I was better she would never have fallen to the dark side.. She would never have died.  
  
So you see now? It was my fault. All my fault.  
  
The failure is to be blamed.  
  
I reached for another drink, I'd turned into a slob. A ruthless drunk. I reached for the holovid and to my surprise their was another news broadcast.  
  
"And now for some breaking news." I just laughed, as drunk as I was.  
  
"Yeah.. Yeah.. Breaking news.. Whatever." I muttered to myself.  
  
"The Star Forge has been destroyed." My eyes widened as I heard this news. It's destroyed, yet I didn't feel one bit of happiness about it.  
  
Until..  
  
"One of the pilot's that was personally involved was young Dustil Onasi, son of the late Carth Onasi." The news reporter said. "He's due to be commended on Alderaan."  
  
Dustil.. Dustil I'm so proud of you. It echoed through my mind over and over again.  
  
They thought I was dead? That was a plus.  
  
I had to get to that award ceremony.. 


	16. Ceremony

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Four  
  
Ceremony  
  
The Republican Hall on Alderaan was were the ceremony was due to take place. I knew myself that their was no chance I was going to get in their through the front doors, I had to think of another way. I decided to find the back entrance. I couldn't take the risk of anyone seeing me, I'd be captured for sure. I would be prisoned, hell, maybe even executed.  
  
I scanned around. It was dark. Two guards with Ion Blasters were placed at the front gates. I walked through the trees slowly as to not attract their attention, it was a cold night and I soon felt my nose go numb as the icyness hit me. All I could think about was Dustil and how proud I was of him. I felt like bantha crap for the year I'd wasted, I realised now that I may have other things to live for.  
  
But the keyword was may have. I had a new life then, if you could call it that. I lived the life of Jaro Kep; drunkard extraordinaire. I doubted that my life was going to change. Too much. After a while of skirting around the area I came to the back of the Republican Hall, the coast was clear and I decided to make a move to get into the place.  
  
I ran towards the railings and I began to climb over as quickly as I could. I didn't know if a patrol was going to come and find me an any moment so time was of the essence. After all these years and after all the training I ever had I never knew that my Physical Drill Instruction or P.D.I. for short would come in handy. I was a Pilot after all, not a Marine and definitely not Infantary.  
  
The truth was I loathed P.D.I and anything physical. Uh, besides the obvious but well, that's something else, isn't it? But to get back on track, I hated Drill Instruction. I came top of my class in the Academy when it came to Math, Physics, Navigation, Tactics and Piloting. But when it came time to learn other skills, for example, scaling extremely large walls. I just wasn't cut out to do it. Five eleven or not, I was not a climbing sort of guy.  
  
However, in all honesty I needed P.D.I. Some of the gravitational forces experienced especially when flying in orbit or down on the surface were horrifying. Without some kind of toned or muscular form a pilot would simply not survive. That didn't stop me from loathing it completely, though. To be honest, I wasn't built like the other pilots. Some of them were built like Wookie bouncers you see on doors of nightclubs and Cantina's. But "good" old me. One of the shortest pilots of the Republic and one of the less *beefy* pilots of the Republic became the one who defied death. Defeated Mandalorian *and* Sith aces. Became one of the high ranking tacticians within the Republic *and* I still managed to keep the morale of men and women going *and* still be a good leader to them.  
  
That was the most self praise that you were going to get out of me.. Period. I finally got ontop the railings and jumped ungracefully to the grassy ground below me. I stayed bent and poised on my knees as I ran towards the shadowed wall. I ducked below the lighted windows and came to a door. I opened the panel and looked to see if their was any possible way I could slice into it. I wasn't the best computer user in the Galaxy but fortunately I'd learned a lot through the years. Mostly from Revan. May the Force rest her tortured soul.  
  
Funnily enough, I actually said that out loud as I thought about it. I managed to slice the panel to the door and it opened, I scampered in ungraciously and looked around. The room was empty. I got my shades out my pocket and placed them over my eyes. Rivu was right when she said I looked different and now quite a lot of my hair had greyed which added to the "cool" exterior I had even more. Truth was, after Revan died, I'd aged. A lot.  
  
Funny how a woman can do that to you. Make you age, that is. Over the past year I never really had any reason for anything other than to get drunk. I wasn't getting drunk thinking of Revan though. I was thinking of.. Thinking of emptiness, hollowness. I had nothing to think about, nothing to do with my life anymore. Seeing Dustil. Being proud of Dustil was now my temporary solace. I popped my head around the corner, a Republican Marine was strolling down the corridoor. Fortunately it was away from me.  
  
I took my chance when the coast was clear and listened at the doors trying to find out which room the ceremony was taking place in. Then I heard it. I slid through the doors and crouched down at the back. Lots of soldiers were there, lots of proud families. And me, the proud failure father. I saw Dustil. He was a *real* man now. I knew that the day I left Manaan a year ago, I knew he had changed and he said he'd forgiven me.  
  
It was wonderful to see him again, to see him there.  
  
"And now may we honour Leuitenant Onasi. He fought for the cause and we won, we are proud to honour you with the highest honour the Republic can bestow." I saw the medal be pinned to my son's chest. He looked so damn proud of it. *I* was so damn proud of it. I'd never been awarded that medal in all my time with the Republic, I was almost envious.  
  
But then again in my day I didn't have Sith Lords with giant sun eating factories running around destroying entire planets.  
  
It seemed fitting. For a while I stayed that way. Watching him. He saluted his Admiral and sat back down. I watched the ceremony pass by. My heart swelled, it ached too but it mostly swelled with pride. At least my son was not a failure. He was *my* son. I saw him turn around and stare in my direction. Then he looked back. Then he realised. He turned and looked me straight in my shaded eyes. He knew I was there and that was all that mattered to me. When he looked again I would be gone. I left promptly.  
  
***  
  
I sat in the dark that night inside the hotel. I had hold of some Brandy in a tumbler and I lay back in my chair. I tried to think, think about anything at all. Again my mind was blank.  
  
Their was a knock on the door.  
  
"Enter." I said. Dustil. I stood up immediately and looked at him, I shifted on the spot uncomfortably.  
  
"Father.. You broke in just to see me?" He asked, I nodded in his direction. I offered him my seat and he took it, he was the war hero now. Not me. I was scum.  
  
I wasn't worthy to be pissed on by my own son if I was on fire.  
  
"You shouldn't have.." He said, he looked down on the floor. I noticed a ring, a wedding band on his left hand.  
  
"Dustil.. You got married?" My eyes lit up in joy, but then in sadness as I remembered that I could never attend his wedding and never see him normally.  
  
"Oh.. Yes.. Yes I did." He said to me as he held his ring up in the darkness.  
  
"Lights." I said and the lights came on in the room. I walked towards him and I stared intently at his hand. "What's her name?" I asked him.  
  
"Her name is Qwenda." He replied. A smile arched across his face at the mention of his wifes name.  
  
"I'm happy for you." I told him as I gulped down my Brandy and placed the tumbler on the bedside desk. "How did you find me?" I asked him.  
  
"Rivu told me you renamed yourself to Jaro Kep.. So all I had to do was flash some credits at the Hotel Manager and sure enough, he told me you were here." He said as a grin creeped across his face. He'd lived rough after Morgana's death so I wasn't surprised that he lived on some bare instincts like that, somewhere.  
  
"I see. I'm proud of you Dustil. You achieved more than I ever could.." I told him, sadness filled my voice up to the very brink.  
  
"I.. Well. Dad. Why are you going around getting drunk? Why have you sunk so low? Rivu.. Rivu told me." The question shocked the core of my soul.  
  
"I.." I needed to tell him the truth, tell him what burned me up so much. "When I was on Rivu's ship.. I heard about.. About Revan and her death." I choked when I said her name. It was the name that caused me so much grief, so much pain.  
  
Their was a long, horrible pause between the both of us before Dustil began talking to me again. "I talked to some of my friends.. My contacts in the R.I.U." I stared at him, I remembered my contacts in the R.I.U. and I certainly hoped he didn't have them for the same reason I had them. "I really shouldn't tell you this-" I nodded in his direction.  
  
"I understand about the oath, Dustil." I said to him.  
  
"It isn't that. It's Revan. It wasn't as it seemed." I stared straight at him, my eyes widened. Was I wrong to give up my hope?  
  
"She's alive."  
  
Half of me wanted to forget her.  
  
The other half loved her to mere death.  
  
Somedays it was okay, somedays I was able to forget.  
  
But a time like this.  
  
*ALL* of me loved her to death.  
  
I darted across the room and grabbed Dustil by his uniform with both of my hands. I didn't realise what I was doing. Dustil just laughed. "I had a feeling you loved her." He said softly.  
  
"Where...-" I composed myself and let go of his uniform. "Please tell me where she is.." I all but begged my son.  
  
"I don't know, but the R.I.U. questioned Canderous Ordo who was badly injured after the attack on Manaan. Maybe you could start there?" He said to me, I nodded in his direction.  
  
"Where is he? Tell me." I begged him again, he just nodded.  
  
"It isn't going to be easy. He's on Coruscant." As soon as Dustil said this I started to leave. My heart thumped at the thought that I may see Revan again. I realised that hiding my identity on Coruscant was going to be hard but it was going to be just as hard if not harder getting information from a Mandalorian that hated my guts.  
  
"DAD.. Wait. Oh brother!" I heard Dustil shout. I heard his booted feet run down the corridoor towards my already running figure. "For crying out loud!" I heard him shout. I smirked and laughed to myself. I turned around, gave him a salute and bade him farewell. He saluted me back.  
  
"Don't forget. You're a true hero, father." He said to me. I smiled.  
  
I mouthed the words "Thankyou" to him and bowed happily before turning and running again.  
  
He was definitely my son.  
  
----------  
  
Gave you two chapters because I thought chapter 3 sucks.  
  
Athena: Thanks .. I got the mail 'n all so ^_^ .. Yeah.. Things will be fun and get better and it does get intriguing I promise ..  
  
Well back to my alcohol :D lol. 


	17. A pretty new face

A Failure's Tale - Chapter 5  
  
A pretty new face  
  
I managed to get on the first ship to Coruscant. It was an uneventful journey except for a funny host who kept me company all the way there. It was dark when I arrived, I looked around. Coruscant was a beautiful city full of tall and spiralling buildings. It reminded me of Taris. I sighed and began my walk, I had Canderous' address. My mind had ideas of wandering over there and talking to him but my body didn't feel like a fight.  
  
No. My body felt like a drink. I entered the local boozer and sat down inside, I ordered a glass of whisky and thumbed my credit chit over to the green Twi'lek barman. I started to sip on my drink and I looked around the place. It was dark, seedy. Definitely seedy. Then my eyes caught a glimpse of a woman who looked unnatural to say the least.  
  
She had long hair and it was straight. I'd never seen hair so long and so well conditioned in all my fourty one years of wandering. Her hair was as black as the space in the galaxy, it was unnatural to say the least. Her head turned and I caught a glimpse of her eyes. If her hair was the space in the galaxy her eyes were definitely the stars. Her eyes were an aquamarine colour and they twinkled even in the dim light of the Cantina.  
  
It was.. Most unnatural.  
  
What was even more unnatural was the fact that she was arm wrestling in a bid to win some credits. My eyes wandered further down her body. She was a petite lady, she was definitely not of a build to arm wrestle some of the brutes I had noticed in here. I examined her technique, it looked simple enough. Grab the guys hand in a lock and beat him.  
  
Surely it was some trick. She wasn't exactly a muscular woman or even muscular toned she just had a normal body.  
  
I finished my drink and walked over to the table where she was sitting. I decided I would be her next challenger. "May I?" I asked her. She grinned at me and nodded softly. I sat down at the other side of the rounded table and placed my elbow on it firmly. She repeated the action with her right arm. "What's your name?" I asked her. She stayed silent and smiled.  
  
"Maria Mortis." Came her husky tone. Her voice was deep but sexy. "And you?" Maria asked me.  
  
"Jaro. Jaro Kep." I replied as her tiny hand wrapped around my manly one.  
  
"Well Jaro.. Prepare to be pleasently surprised." Maria warned me. I grinned at her, this had to be some kind of joke, surely.  
  
The arm wrestle begun and I realised that I didn't have to put all my strength into my arm to best Maria. She wasn't a strong lady at all so how was she winning these arm wrestles? I decided that it would probably be for the best if I didn't find that out but sure enough my own destiny grabbed me by the sacred parts and pulled me in.  
  
I felt a hand on my thigh and a foot travelling up my leg, it was enough to shock me and break my concentration. The next thing I felt was my hand being slammed onto the table. Maria Mortis was the victor of the arm wrestle.  
  
It was incredibly embarassing to say the least.  
  
I decided that I wasn't going to stick around. I was better saving up the rest of my manly pride I had left rather than throwing it away needlessly on an arm wrestling match against Maria Mortis. I left from the table and she taunted me. "You've had enough already?" She snorted. I turned to face her.  
  
"Maybe later gorgeous." I answered her before turning to leave. She chuckled.  
  
"You'll lose." She told me. I stopped dead in my tracks.  
  
"We'll just have to see about that." I replied as I carried on walking out of the Cantina.  
  
***  
  
"Who is it?" I heard Canderous's rough voice answer me from beyond his apartment. I decided to play rough with him. If I was to be weak and answer with a simple "Carth" he'd probably laugh at me and leave me standing out in the cold.  
  
"You're worst nightmare." I answered him. He laughed. Obviously a male voice wasn't his idea of a nightmare, maybe it was a females? Revan's perhaps?  
  
"Go away kid." Canderous answered me with a chuckle, it was suddenly silent. It seems I was going to be left out in the cold anyway.  
  
"Right Canderous.. You want me to break into your apartment? Then I'm going to have to." I muttered inaudibly under my breath as I started to fumble with the panel on the door. After a good five minutes I managed to get in..  
  
Only to be greeted with the cold end of a blaster rifle pressed hard against the side of my temple.  
  
"Bloody Mandalorians." I said as I raised my hands in the air in surrender.  
  
"Wait a minute. You're no kid.." Canderous said as realization suddenly dawned upon him.  
  
"Still the brainless brute aren't we old man?" I quipped to him. Canderous glared at me and pushed his rifle against my temple even harder. I stayed as stone cold and icy as I could, looking infront of me and leaving my hands in the air in surrender.  
  
"Gaaaaaaaah." He groaned as he threw his rifle on the ground. He grabbed me by the top of my shirt and literally threw me into the adjoining room of the apartment.  
  
"Was it something I said?" I asked Canderous.  
  
"Shut up, Carth. Why in Mandalore's name are you here? And make this quick or next time I'll shove the blaster rifle through you're entire head." Canderous said through his teeth in anger.  
  
"Information." I replied. It was enough to crack Canderous up into a fit of laughter.  
  
"Wait. You expect *me* to help you? I-" I didn't give him a chance to finish.  
  
"You forget that I beat you in combat." I answered him. A tiny grin formed at the corner of his mouth.  
  
"You may have done but at least I have honour." Canderous said to me as he sat down in a chair and regarded me carefully.  
  
"Really Canderous? Is that why you kicked me while I was on the ground? Is that why you pulled a blade out on me and still lost?" I enquired of him.  
  
"Don't talk rubbish Carth. I'm a Mandalorian. We only ache for the glory of the battle, for victory!" He exclaimed as he chuckled at me.  
  
"Yes, but you lost." I replied to him. Canderous went to interrupt me and I waved my finger at him. "And you can't blame two jedi's, more supplies, yadda yadda absolute bantha fodder on it this time." Canderous went to interrupt again and I started to seriously lose my patience. "It was just you and me. You had a blade and I didn't. I was the better man. *I* was the victor. Now you better give me that information Canderous-" I said to him.  
  
"Or what?" He asked. I shrugged and started to laugh heartily.  
  
"Look at you, old man. Heh.. Pathetic. How old are you now? Pushing sixty?" I sighed to myself and laughed again, his fists clenched. If Canderous wanted my blood a year ago, he wanted it even more at that moment in time. "Give me the information and I'll be out of your way Canderous." I told him. He shook his head at me.  
  
"I'll give you your information.. But I know that I won't be seeing the last of you. You're an offworlder and some people don't take kindly to offworlders.. Especially those who are seeking information." Canderous said to me. I rolled my eyes and smirked in disgust.  
  
"Is that a threat?" I asked him. Canderous shook his head.  
  
"It's a friendly warning. Warrior to warrior." He told me. I sighed under my breath, so it was back to the warrior stuff again was it? "What is it you want to know?" He asked me, looking down on the ground.  
  
"About Revan." I replied to him. It was his turn to laugh heartily.  
  
"Still playing the lovesick fool Carth?" Canderous asked me. The question caught me off guard and I wasn't prepared with an answer. "Thought so." He finally added after a long pause. "I was injured protecting Revan from the Sith that came to Bastila's aid.. Revan was rattled, I've never seen her that way.. Well.. Since ever now that I look back." He said to me. I nodded in his direction and sat down on a chair at the opposite side of the room.  
  
He sighed and shifted around uncomfortably. "It disturbed her that you commited suicide. For the few minutes that their was between your so called untimely death and the battle between Revan and Bastila you could almost say she was zombified." Canderous told me. I quirked my eyebrow. I wanted to quip that she looked like a zombie anyway but that wasn't a good idea. Not when the Mandalorian had me in his good books.  
  
"Well, I'm guessing you want to know whether she is alive or dead." He sighed. "She's dead blaster boy. Give up on her. I saw her die before my very eyes.. When I found out about you and Bastila.. I realised that I was betraying the wrong person." Canderous said to me. I didn't care about his reasons. I cared about her death. I sighed and tears welled up in my eyes. Had I really come all this way for nothing?  
  
"I was told the opposite. I was told that she lived and went into hiding." I said to Canderous. He smiled softly.  
  
"No.." He answered. Canderous Ordo sighed again before continuing "They both struck each other down at the same time." He told me. I pondered it. "If you don't believe me.. Go to the museum. Check out her robes." He said to me.  
  
"I think I will." I replied. I stood up and walked out the apartment without even telling him thanks or goodbye.  
  
He was a Mandalorian. One of my enemies. It would always remain that way.  
  
--------------  
  
Athenaprime: :) Yay .. I got your e-mail.. cool! Love your story as you already know.  
  
Shadow39: You got "more"!  
  
VividScripts: Hi. I got your e-mail and I haven't had time to read your fic.. yet. Last night I was busy reading KOTOR fics but I will get around to your fic tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for the support by the way and I'm glad you're enjoying the story! 


	18. Marked

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Six  
  
Marked  
  
The next day I decided to go and see what Canderous was talking about. I left for the museum and I saw what he was talking about. Revan's robes.. Her lightsabre. It was enough to make me believe that she was gone but why would Dustil lie to me? Why would the R.I.U. lie to him to be exact? Something didn't make sense. I smelt a Rancor's rotten corpse and it wasn't a nice smell.  
  
It was bloody unbelievable.  
  
I decided to stick around anyway and see the rest of the museum. Their most prized possession was an ancient artifact with mysterious markings plauging its very sides. It was small, around the size of a palm. It was black.. Black like an opal. It shone under the artificial light that was covering it. I asked the museum curator exactly what it did and he shrugged at me.  
  
"It's a mystery." He told me. "All we know is that it's very, very old."  
  
***  
  
I'd seen enough in the museum to need another stiff drink. I decided to return to the Cantina I was in yesterday, I prayed I didn't see Maria Mortis this time.  
  
However, I did.  
  
That woman was going to get me into trouble and I could smell it a mile off. For some reason, I always knew the type.  
  
Unfortunately, they were always the good looking type.  
  
I ordered my poison from the Twi'lek barman once again and sat down. Maria Mortis was arm wrestling again. As usual she was defeating the men with ease, it made me wonder just how much charisma she had in her touches to make every man fall at every hurdle.  
  
Either that.. Or they were doing it deliberately because they enjoyed it.  
  
Men aren't fickle about a woman touching them up even if it hurts their pride.  
  
But I'm not every man.  
  
I set my blaster to stun and wandered up to the table Maria was sitting at and sat down again. "Back for more?" She enquired as her aquamarine eyes met my brown ones.  
  
"Sure." I said confidently. I placed my elbow on the table and Maria did the same, our hands locked and we began to wrestle. Again my strength outmatched Maria's with great ease and I put all my strength into my wrestle with her. Her eyes widened and I soon felt a hurried hand on my knee. I unsheathed my blaster and pointed it at the pit of her stomach. This time I wasn't the one to lose concentration in surprise. It was Maria.  
  
Her hand slammed down on the table. I was the victor.  
  
Maria gave me a glare which I'm pretty sure if she was a Jedi would have burnt me to cinders.  
  
"I told you I'd win, sweetie." I said to her as I winked and left the table. Maria kept glaring at me and I swore I heard her sneer. I returned to the bar and ordered another drink. I sipped at my alcohol while talking to the Twi'lek barman, he was surprised I had the guts to defeat Maria. "I was just doing what a man has to do." I told him, he smirked.  
  
"But she's a ruthless, evil bounty hunter, Jaro." He told me. Well, that sort of made me feel foolish. Sure enough, Maria Mortis was standing behind me. She coughed to get my attention. I lit a Cigarra and turned to face her.  
  
"You've got some guts, Jaro." Maria's husky voice told me. I raised an eyebrow and puffed my Cigarra in her face, she deserved it anyway. I saw her smirk but her face remained emotionless.  
  
"That's some talent you have." I told her as I took another puff. Still her face remained ever emotionless, she more than knew what I was talking about.  
  
"I'm not impressed with your foolishness." Maria told me. She reached for the Cigarra packet in my hand and snatched it from me. She took a Cigarra out from the packet and placed it between her lips, lighting it. She promptly threw the packet back onto my lap.  
  
Maria leaned closer towards me and gently fingered the shades off my face. The corner of her lips twisted into a.. Well, twisted smile and she exhaled the smoke in my face. Maybe it was my lucky day.  
  
"Ow!" I yelped as I felt the knife she gently concealed slice through the flesh on my arm. Maria grinned and leaned back away from me.  
  
She said one word.  
  
"Marked."  
  
----------  
  
Vivid Scripts: I checked out your fan fic, it's great! Thanks for the support *Bow!*  
  
Shadow39: You have even "more"!  
  
Ahh.. I realise black isn't technically opal but ok. 


	19. Salvation of a soul

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Seven  
  
Salvation of a soul  
  
I walked down the quiet, dark streets of Coruscant as I examined the mark on my arm. It wasn't a deep cut but it was certainly enough to disturb me. What the hell did Maria mean by "marked"? I figured out that whatever it was, it certainly wasn't good. A man didn't have to fully understand a woman to know that the look in her eyes was one of hate. I think I hurt her pride. It was all enough however to send me in the direction of my all time favourite Mandalorian, Canderous.  
  
"Canderous are you there old guy?" I asked through the other side of the door. I heard some cruel laughter on the other side and suddenly the door opened. I entered.  
  
"I told you that you would be back." Canderous said in his rough and gritty voice. I nodded in his direction. I held my arm out towards him, rolling up my sleeve so that he could get a closer look.  
  
"Any idea what being marked means?" I asked him. Canderous laughed and walked towards me as he grasped my wrist tightly and examined my arm. He twisted it roughly, probably on purpose.  
  
"Yep. And it doesn't mean she's going to hop into bed with you if that's what you're hoping for." He told me, I raised my eyebrow.  
  
"She? So you know her?" I enquired to Canderous as I pulled my arm away from him, quietly rolling my sleeve back down. He nodded at me.  
  
"Maria Mortis. Only Maria would do that to someone she takes an extreme dislike to. So with you being an offworlder and all, I see you've already had time to introduce yourself to the locals. It's just so hard to believe that you bumped into her first.." His voice trailed off slowly as he seemed to be thinking of something long and hard. I shrugged and sighed.  
  
"So I'm a walking dead man?" I asked Canderous, he nodded.  
  
"And knowing Maria... And how deadly she is.. She's going to want to beat it out of you first with a couple of thugs before taking you down personally." Canderous told me. Sure, it got to me a bit. But what was the point? Apparently I was a walking dead man now and we all had to die someday.  
  
I was about to leave when Canderous told me to stop. I turned around. "Yes?" I asked him.  
  
"Revan.. Well.. About Revan.." Canderous said to me. I raised my eyebrow. "Since you're not going to be living terribly long.. Heh heh. Have you considered visiting the Jedi Temple? Maybe if you pray for her.. Maybe you'll see her ghost.. At least, that's some bantha crap the Jedi's believe in." He told me. It never occured to me before to try that.  
  
I've never been an incredibly "religious" man if you could blaspheme the Force by calling it that. But if it was for Revan then maybe I could pray for salvation of her soul. I headed towards the door but I stopped. I turned around.  
  
"Canderous? Thankyou. You've been more help than I originally imagined." I said, I carried on out of the door and into the night filled streets of Coruscant.  
  
***  
  
I entered the Jedi Temple. I'd walked there quite fast and all the way there I could have sworn I was being watched but I ignored it.  
  
I kneeled down and closed my eyes. I began to pray softly.  
  
"May the force bring salvation to a torn soul."  
  
"The soul being Revan."  
  
"She may have done cruel and vicious things but I wish her soul to be at peace now."  
  
"If you wish to show yourself to me Revan."  
  
"Please.. Please do."  
  
I opened my eyes. No one there. I closed my eyes again with a soft shudder and sigh. Their was something creepy and ominous about the Jedi Temple.  
  
"Please show yourself Revan.."  
  
I opened my eyes.  
  
A figure dressed in black was standing but a few feet from my face.  
  
-------------  
  
Cliffhanger .. YAY...  
  
Vivid Scripts & Shadow39: Shh... All will be revealed :). 


	20. Grudge match

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Eight  
  
Grudge match  
  
My eyes wandered up the slim figure only to be greeted by those aquamarine eyes who were unmistakingly Maria's. "You didn't think you'd get away from me that long, did you, Jaro?" She asked me. I just glared at her and silently grit my teeth together, why now? Why did she have to disturb my little bit of peace?  
  
Couldn't she kill me later?  
  
"Damnit woman, why now?" I asked her, she threw her head back and laughed harshly.  
  
"You forget that you're marked. No one messes with Maria Mortis." She told me. I shrugged at her.  
  
"No one messes with Jaro Kep." I promptly retorted. It was her turn to stare, her eyes widened and she gave me a vicious glare.  
  
"Silly fool." She replied whilst she snapped her fingers. I watched as a large, imposing man walked into the temple.  
  
"I get it." I said to her. Maria raised her eyebrow at me.  
  
"What?" Maria asked, shifting around uncomfortably.  
  
"You can't take me yourself because I'm too strong so you get the lump of bantha fodder to do it for you." I told her as I stood up, waiting for my beating that I was no doubt going to get.  
  
"Hey little man. You watch your mouth or you may be talking out your ass soon enough." The thug told me as he thumped his hands together, satisfyingly.  
  
"I already do.. Maria helped me with that little detail." I told him, I heard Maria snarl. "What's the matter gorgeous?" Her hands went down to her vibroblade but stopped.  
  
"Kill him." She said as she sat down to watch the show.  
  
"Your insults reak, little one." The thug said as he approached me. I stood in the middle of the dimly lit temple waiting for him to strike.  
  
"I may sound stupid, but my actions say otherwise." I said to him. The thug drew his fist back and punched me square in the face, I fell to the ground. I groaned softly and tried to stagger back up to my feet, "Damn.. That hurt." I muttered to him, he just grinned. "Want to try that again?" I enquired. The thug pulled his fist back but this time I ducked and charged him down, pushing him backwards and onto the floor.  
  
"Big mistake, little man." The thug said to me as he stood up, I heard Maria chuckle softly.  
  
"Give up your life, Jaro. Let me stick my blade through your quivering heart." She told me, I shook my head in her direction and raised my fists.  
  
"If you want a fight.. I'll go down fighting." I muttered, the large thug put his hands out as he went to grab my neck. Fortunately for me he was slow and I easily dodged to the left. I cheekily placed my boot on his buttocks to send him flying back onto the ground again. He hit the ground like a Sith star cruiser crash landing, this time it was his turn to groan.  
  
"You'll regret this, little one." He said as he began to stand up, staggering to get on his feet. The fight was only just beginning.  
  
"I have a name. It's JARO.. JARO KEP.. Or is it too much for your tiny, ephemeral mind to remember?" I asked him. He growled and walked up to me. He tried to hook me with his right fist and I barely parried it only to feel his big, strong left fist thump me in the stomach. I fell to my knees gasping for air, I was winded. I clutched my stomach in pain only to feel his right fist strike me across the face so hard that I flew onto the ground with tremendous force.  
  
Maria laughed and I felt the ground with my hands trying to get enough support to yank myself onto my feet again. I watched as tiny drops of blood splashed down onto the ground. I got up to my feet and the thug just smiled at me. I smiled back and I finally decided how I was going to win.  
  
Shoot the bastard.  
  
I was only toying with him after all and I wasn't a great fan of honour. I was no Canderous and it wasn't exactly like he was anything honourable after our last fight, besides, this guy was almost twice Canderous' size and I decided after last time that Canderous was the biggest guy I was going to *ever* have another punch up with again.  
  
I sat there on my knees, staring up at him. He came towards me again and was about to grab me but I was quicker than him and pulled my blaster out. I pointed my blaster straight between his eyes, he was going to surrender but I didn't give him the chance. I pulled my trigger and he fell to the floor with a loud thud. I carefully wiped the blood away from my face with my clothes only for Maria Mortis to be standing directly infront of me again.  
  
"That wasn't very fair, Jaro" Maria told me, staring down at me. I raised my blaster up and pointed it at her head.  
  
"Well, you're about to get the same treatment, sister." I told her, my finger itching to pull the trigger. She just glared at my blaster without flinching. It occured to me that she was either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.  
  
Or maybe she just didn't care.  
  
Whatever it was, it certainly had me in awe for a second or two. However, it was long enough for Maria to promptly kick the blaster out of my hands and send it tumbling onto the ground out of my reach.  
  
I nervously got up onto my feet and raised my hands, my only defence. I watched as Maria searched for her blade, drawing it in a untidy fashion. She pointed it at me and I started to walk backwards slowly, she followed my lead.  
  
"Now we'll see how you like it when it's totally unfair." Maria told me, she had an evil look in her eyes and I realised that this may be my last few breaths.  
  
"Well, heh.." I replied nervously. I took a deep breath and gulped before continuing, "It wasn't very fair to begin with.. What.. With that big guy.. And uh, lets face it Maria.. You weren't going to fight hand-to-hand but with your vibroblade." She snarled at me as she came closer, her hand was trembling.  
  
"Shut up, Jaro." Maria answered me as she walked closer. I kept walking backwards until I hit a stone wall. I pressed myself up against the wall until I was nearly on my tiptoes. I panted in fear, her blade now inches from my chest.  
  
"Don't do it Maria." I begged her as I removed my shades and gave her a "Please don't kill me" look which seemed to attract women nearly everytime.  
  
The keyword was nearly.  
  
And this time I was lucky.  
  
Maria took a moment to gaze into my eyes and her blade wavered against my chest.  
  
For a split second I wondered if she was going to kiss me or kill me.  
  
I soon got my answer.  
  
----------------  
  
Vivid Scripts & Shadow39: You two.. Thanks for sticking with this story and I'm glad that you are enjoying it even if I'm NOT the best writer in the world .. I just write mainly for a plot line, but that's it.. Well thanks for reading, reviewing and sticking through the story even in it's boring parts! 


	21. Run!

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Nine  
  
Run!  
  
I watched Maria as her eyes met mine, her blade wavering very gently. She kept her eyes fixed on mine and she lowered her sword ever so slightly, her eyes suddenly shot down to the floor almost as if she was ashamed of feeling some kind of mercy for me. It was then that I heard a shrill voice from up above "Who's there!?" Suddenly Maria's eyes met mine again but this time they were fall of confusion and fear.  
  
"Jedi's.. RUN!" She shouted as she left like a star-fighter entering hyperspace. I quickly retrieved my blaster and ran outside, joining her.  
  
"Oh great. What now?" I asked her, she turned and looked at me.  
  
"Well.. You're the one that murdered a man.. So I don't care, just don't follow me. Got that, Jaro?" Maria said as she darted to the left and into some alleyways of Coruscant.  
  
My head moved from left to right, I'd never been left in a lurch like this before. I knew that Maria was right, if the Jedi's caught me I would be tried for murder, no doubt about it. I also knew that the chances of me out running a Jedi were literally impossible but I had to try. After all, maybe the Force would be on my side?  
  
Well. I could only hope, couldn't I?  
  
So foolishly, I began to run.  
  
I ran towards the right into some open, well-lit streets, littered with buildings on both sides. "Hey you! STOP!" I heard the Jedi shout after me as his feet started trampling towards me. I kept running, trying to get away from the Jedi trailing me. I ran as fast as I could in a straight line until I came to a cross roads.  
  
I looked left. Open streets.  
  
I looked right. A dark alleyway.  
  
I almost skidded when I turned to the right and pumped my legs down the alleyway. I was running so fast that I failed to notice the door that opened infront of me, I managed to stop on the roll of a credit chit and dodge to the right only to bump into some middle aged Twi'lek female and knock her over. "Damnit!" I shouted at her as I carefully ran around her trying to gain as much speed as possible down the alleyway. She shouted something at me in her native language but I was too busy listening to the Jedi's heavy footsteps getting closer to catch what she said.  
  
I took a quick glance over my shoulder, even in the dark I could tell that the Jedi was young. Too young to be able to stop me with the use of Force powers but not too young to fight me and defeat me. Jedi's after all were misunderstood by most people and they were most definitely underestimated. However, I wasn't going to make this mistake, for now, I was going to keep running in the hope that I might out run my opponent. Jedi or no Jedi.  
  
The quick glance was enough for me to trip over, though. I fell on the ground, flat on my face, adrenaline pumped in me wildly and in instinct I put my hands on the floor, pulling myself back up onto my feet. The Jedi was very close now, too close. I started to pump my legs as hard as I could to get away but he was inevitably gaining on me. I started to sweat prefusely and pant in tiredness but I mentally forced myself to carry on going, even if it killed me.  
  
I felt something on my foot, it was the Jedi. He'd jumped through the air and grabbed hold of my foot to stop me. I started to struggle to break free, thrashing my foot from left to right until his grip loosened. I was incredibly lucky and that was extremely close. I started to pump my legs again and turned right down another alleyway that was even darker than the last one, then I turned left and ran down the next alleyway, then I took another left.  
  
I hid behind some debris in the alleyway to catch my breath. I was panting ridiculously hard and if I had to run any further or any harder I knew it would be enough for me.  
  
I thought I'd lost the Jedi.  
  
I was wrong.  
  
He came creeping up the alleyway and I unsheathed my blaster. For a second I considered knocking him out with it but then I realised what a foolish idea it was. A Jedi, *any* Jedi would see that coming. No, I had to run, I had no choice. I sheathed my blaster. I began to run and I soon heard the Jedi trailing my path once again. The alleyway branched off to the right. I was running so fast that I had to place my hands on the wall to get around the corner without running into a stone wall. It slowed me down a little bit but I soon managed to pick up the pace again.  
  
I was running as fast as I could, I was still out of breath. I came to a wall and I was suddenly reminded of how much I hated P.D.I. I scaled the wall in the most *ungracious* style ever, after all, I was physically exhausted and I just wanted to get out with my life intact.  
  
Providing I didn't die of a heartattack first.  
  
I jumped over the wall and landed awkwardly, rolling to break the impact. The Jedi clambered over the wall much easier than me which was to be expected, he had the Force on his side. He was also twenty or more years younger than me which didn't exactly help my cause either.  
  
The Jedi was close again and I figured that he wasn't going to fall for the trick I shown him before. I ran, slamming my right leg down after my left leg until I was in another well-lit street of Coruscant. I looked around, there was nowhere for me to run, nowhere for me to hide.  
  
So I took the next best option.  
  
I ran towards all the doors and started to slam my fists on them to see if their was one open. I smacked the first door and it was closed, the second one opened as soon as I stepped near it.  
  
I kind of wish now that I didn't take that option.  
  
Or do I?  
  
I'd stumbled, literally, upon one of Coruscant's more seedier "Cantina's" with dancing Twi'leks in incredibly revealing outfits. I had no time to stop and ogle, but I knew it would probably embarass the young Jedi enough to slow him down.  
  
Well.. At least I *hoped* that sort of thing would slow him down.  
  
I even blushed myself. I may have been a soldier but I was the shy type, it may be difficult to believe but I get flustered easily. This was one of those occasions. I looked around and the Jedi entered the Cantina. Seeing absolutely nowhere else to run I ran towards the bar. I placed one hand on the bar and jumped over it running to the back of the bar and jumping back over it and onto solid ground. I meandered my way through a couple of Twi'lek dancing girls and burst through the back door of the Cantina out onto the open streets again.  
  
I kept running but this time it was aimlessly until I saw a figure running towards a Speeder. It was Maria. The Jedi was hot on my tail again and I watched as she jumped into the Speeder with style. I drew my blaster and ran towards it, Maria was about to leave. "Not so damn fast woman! You want to kill me don't you?" I said as I hopped into the spare seat. She nodded excitedly in response to my question and a grin formed on her face.  
  
Man! This woman had more bloodlust than I'd ever known Revan to have. But I didn't care, it was better to be closer to my enemies than to my.. Well, extremely freaky and powerful enemies, the Jedi.  
  
Not that Maria wasn't a freak. Everything about her reaked of freak.  
  
Hair.  
  
Eyes.  
  
Voice.  
  
Personality.  
  
Wait, did I just *think* she had a personality?  
  
Hah! Some personality. If Maria had a personality.. Well..  
  
Then Revan had the personality of a diplomatic Hutt, damnit!  
  
I pointed the blaster at her head. "Good, now that we've established pretty clearly that you want to kill me.. I suggest you GO MARIA BEFORE THEY CAPTURE US BOTH!" I shouted in absolute desperation, she started to drive the speeder and we were soon out of the big trouble we got ourselves into. "Careful Maria, any funny business and I *swear* I'll kill you." I said as I kept my blaster firmly pointed at her temple. She kept quiet. "I'm watching you." I added.  
  
I started to pant to myself as I regained most of my breath, my heart was pounding. I was far too old for that chase around Coruscant but I was pleased that I got lucky even if I was sitting next to some lunatic woman who takes arm wrestling matches *far* too personally. "I'll only end up killing you in a few days time.. That is if the Jedi don't capture you first." She told me, whilst concentrating on driving.  
  
"I'd rather be captured by the Jedi's." I told her, she turned and smiled at me. "Keep your eyes on what you're doing Maria.. Don't BLOODY eyeball me or I'll blow your brains out." I told her in desperation and absolute fear, she turned her head and returned to what she was doing.  
  
I was extremely rattled by that close call.  
  
"It didn't seem that way.. Well, with the way you hopped into the speeder with me." Maria answered me. She was right, why did women always have to be right when it counted? I wasn't one to be defeated so easily though.  
  
"It didn't seem like you wanted to kill me at one point, either." I retorted, noticing Maria glaring at me sideways if that was even possible.  
  
"I was composing myself." She said in response.  
  
"Well.. Consider this *MY* bloody composure!" I yelled at her. She muttered incoherently and in disbelief that I would even dare hint that she thought twice about killing me for a split second.  
  
Sure, she wanted to do it.  
  
But women were weak. Weak to mercy. Weak to a defenseless man. I'd noticed that with Revan in the past and I'd used it to my advantage.  
  
It worked again here. However, I decided not to press the issue. I didn't want to take this cruel womans idea of "mercy" and push it to it's boundaries. If I did, I might have ended up dead then than giving the .. "Blessing" of two days more of torture.. I mean.. Life.  
  
"Ok.. Ok.. Fine." I said to her as I watched the lights of Coruscant fly past us.  
  
"So you enjoy being a walking dead man, Jaro?" Maria asked me.  
  
"No. I don't." I replied. She let out a soft laugh.  
  
"You know, without my help, the Jedi's will find you in a matter of hours. Either you let me help you and I kill you after I attend to my other business-" Maria said, I didn't give her chance to finish.  
  
"Other business?" I asked her.  
  
"None of your business. But if you must know, or, if you hadn't guessed it. I'm a mercenary, a bounty hunter. All things bad and nasty. I'm an evil bitch and you've gotten on the wrong side of me, dead man Jaro." Maria informed me. I just shrugged.  
  
"I'm used to women hating me." I replied to her, I shifted around in my seat uncomfortably and decided that for now the situation was safe enough to sheath my blaster again. "I've gotten on the wrong side of too many people to count.. It doesn't bother me that you're an extra one." I added, she was too busy concentrating on what she was doing to notice what I said however.  
  
"As I was saying. Either you let me help you and I can kill you after I attend to my other business or the Jedi's will find you in a matter of eight to ten hours." Maria informed me, she shot me a "do it or die" gaze. I suddenly felt very stupid.  
  
"Fine. As much as I don't like it, I'll comply." I told her, sighing and shifting around in my seat uncomfortably. I had a plan. Strike up a deal with a Mercenary and get the hell off Coruscant before the Jedi's found me or Maria Mortis killed me, if that was even possible. I was a murderer now. After all, I had nothing to live for. I may as well keep running. I may as well do something until I meet my destiny. Anything. Anything that would keep my mind from wandering back to *that* woman. Jedi Hero Revan. Dark Lord Revan. Scout Nima D'Graven. Padawan Nima D'Graven. Padawan Revan. Dark Lord Revan.  
  
So many names. But why should I care now? She's dead.  
  
"She's gone." As Rivu put it.  
  
Maybe the Mercenary mission would be my last before I hit the bottle again.  
  
At least the bottle is a good way to go.  
  
At least it's your friend, your lover.  
  
At least it doesn't die on you.  
  
I knew that striking a deal with a Mercenary or a band of Mercenaries would be incredibly dangerous, but they had connections. I knew the way the Jedi worked, they wouldn't put *every* effort into finding me and it wouldn't take *much* effort at all on their part to find me. I knew that they would inform the local Coruscant authorities of who I am and what I looked like, they're pedantic morons and I wouldn't stand a chance alone. However, travelling with a Smuggler who knew the lanes, who knew how to get past certain authorities and hell, even knew how to smuggle a person aboard their ship was just the thing I was looking for.  
  
Oh, how I wished I could bump into Rivu at that point.  
  
She would know how to smuggle me aboard her ship without any of the Coruscant authorities being any wiser.  
  
"So what are you going to do Maria?" I asked her, as I strayed my mind away from my thoughts and troubles for mere moments.  
  
"Going to show you a little part of Coruscant that even Jedi's are a little weary of. Sure, it's dangerous but you'll be safe there.. For a few days." She informed me, she was so persistent on the idea of killing me. It was damn scary. I sighed and she sensed my tension. "Would you like to take the other route? Let me tell you something. In two hours the Jedi will have analysed the murder case and have a rough idea who you are by the description provided by the one whom chased you." Maria let out a soft sigh and her features sagged a tiny bit as she thumbed a Cigarra out. "Light it, dead man." She commanded me. I had no choice, I lit her Cigarra whilst she kept driving the Speeder.  
  
She let out a little puff of her Cigarra before continuing. "By four hours, the Jedi will analyse the blood that dropped from your face and they'll probably have more than a decent idea of whom you are and what you do for a living through the various connections that they have." I was suddenly reminded of my face, the bleeding had stopped but the adrenaline had worn off and I was suddenly feeling a pang of pain there and in my leg. I winced a little bit. "Well, if you think I'm going to give you Kolto you got another thing coming, Jaro." Maria informed me. I shot her a nasty glare.  
  
"Oh, and let me die on you? Are you sure you'd like the pleasure to be taken away from you?" I said to her mockingly, as I put my hand back down to my sides. Maria let out another laugh.  
  
"Weakling. They're scratches, you won't die. And yes, I know you were being sarcastic." She told me. She took another puff on her Cigarra. It started to rain heavily. "In six hours the Jedi may acquire a Force lock on your life force. If they do get that, then it's all over. I guess a Jedi Knight and Padawan entourage will find you and arrest you for murder." Maria said to me as she threw her Cigarra out of the Speeder. "In eight hours, it's your doom. That's where this little place I'm going to show you comes into the equation. Jedi's are a bit weary of the dealings that go on down here so it gives you a chance to get away with it. They really don't like the Jedi types down here." Maria told me.  
  
"How'd you know all that?" I asked her, suspicious of where she acquired all that knowledge.  
  
She merely laughed.  
  
"You forget, Jaro! I've travelled these lanes many times. You seem to think what happened back there was a close call, but I can assure you. I'm old. I've seen somethings happen and *that* wasn't a close call. Oh no.. Wait until you get the *real* Jedi's on you case. You know, the ones with force powers." Maria informed me, looking left and right as the Speeder suddenly became stationary.  
  
"This is your stop." She said to me, kicking me viciously out of the Speeder. I wasn't expecting it and I rolled on the ground.  
  
I got up and cursed the woman as she sped away.  
  
------------  
  
Aroseb: Thanks for the support in saying it wasn't boring!  
  
Athena: Thanks for telling me the story gets better and better lol.. ^_^.  
  
Vivid Scripts & Shadow39: My ever loyal fans LOL ^_^. 


	22. Morgana

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Ten  
  
Morgana  
  
The hotel I decided to take my refuge in was seedy but I realised that I really had no other choice. I settled down onto the bed and I felt myself drifting, floating away from all my troubles and into the arms of a wonderful lady.  
  
"Morgana.." I whispered. Why did she have to plague my memories, why now?  
  
"Carth.. I'm finally safe." She whispered back, burying herself into my warmth. I put both my hands into her hair, running my fingers through the silky strands. This wasn't like the other dreams I'd dreamt of Morgana before.  
  
This was no nightmare either.  
  
This was almost real.  
  
If I could say I wasn't asleep, I'd immediately claim that this was happening to me. Unfortunately, life doesn't go that way and even when something like this does happen it's usually some trick of the mind. I played along with my mind however and held her in the embrace. "I failed you, love." I told her, words I wished I could tell her all the time.  
  
Words that I screamed inside my head and out loud more than a thousand times.  
  
"You didn't fail me.." Morgana replied as she started to dance slowly, she closed her eyes and her head was still buried in my chest.  
  
"But I did.. You died.. It was all my fault.. It was the end of me." I told her as I held her tightly against me, replying with my own dance steps if you could call them that.  
  
"Don't blame yourself for something you couldn't prevent." Morgana told me, the words shot through my very heart. Was this a mixed up flashback? A cruel joke? Or was this really Morgana speaking to me through my dreams?  
  
"I.. It was my fault.. I let Saul get away with it.. I let him slaughter you. How can I be a man? How could I be the husband you married?" I asked Morgana, staring down at her. She was so content, so at peace..  
  
"You were the man I loved, you have to carry on. You shouldn't contemplate throwing your life away. The only thing that was your fault was Revan.. You were dishonest to her for a long time when you failed to see that the chance was slipping away from you.. That's when you failed. That's when you were no longer a man but a coward." Morgana trailed off, I stared down at her and grabbed her by the shoulders fiercely. I pushed her away from me softly.  
  
"How did you know? I.. You're dead Morgana.. This is just a dream.. This is just a dream.." I said over and over like a mantra before reducing it to a mere whisper "This is just a dream..." For a moment, I felt like I was quoting my own Jedi Code.  
  
"Calm down, Carth. I want you to be happy.. Revan's death was just the beginning for you.." Morgana said to me. Tears streamed down my cheeks softly, I wanted to stay there forever.  
  
"This is just a dream.." I whispered once more as I wiped my tears away.  
  
"As for the lies you've been told.. Blood is thicker than water.. You should believe those of your own lineage." Morgana said to me as she started to step backwards, further and further away from me. I watched as she started to disappear from my view. The last words I heard her say were "When the time is right.. You and Revan will find each other.. Their will be no need to seek her and their will be no need for her to seek you. You will see each other by complete coincidence." I saw her fade out of view and I dashed towards her. I tried to grab her to stop her from leaving me, leaving me in my pain.  
  
"Mor-" I choked softly as tears streamed down my face. "Morgana..." I fell to my knees as the pain became terribly intense.  
  
"Don't leave me again... Morgana..."  
  
I choked in tears.  
  
"Please just let me say goodbye.."  
  
I weeped in pain.  
  
"I'm sorry for failing you.." 


	23. The Quest

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Eleven  
  
The Quest  
  
I woke up in the morning with a terrible headache, no doubt from the dream that I had the night previous. I kept trying to tell myself that it was only some kind of messed up concoction my mind decided to brew but something, somewhere, was telling me the opposite. It was telling me that it was real. I'm not a great believer in religion or paranormal, though, I guess you could call the Force, Jedi's and the Sith paranormal. I just had the weirdest feeling that what happened to me last night was reality and I couldn't shake it.  
  
Maybe just some part of me wanted to disbelieve in Revan's death. She was so powerful, how could she die so easily?  
  
And Morgana..  
  
Morgana looked so real.  
  
It seemed as if she wanted me to be happy.  
  
I decided that it was time to see my old Mandalorian "friend". He was going to enjoy this and I knew I best have myself prepared for the flash of verbal insults that would probably be thrown at me, did I fail to mention the laughter, too?  
  
***  
  
Canderous began to laugh. "You mean to tell me you got into a fight inside the Jedi Temple with Maria and her thugs?" He asked me as his face burst into joyous laughter at my expense. I stood there with my hand on my hip, frowning at him. It only caused Canderous to laugh even harder, however.  
  
"Don't be so hard on yourself, blaster boy. Heh heh." He said in my direction as I could have sworn tears of laughter were forming in his eyes.  
  
"I just need to get off this planet.." I said, quite annoyed at the response Canderous was giving me so far.  
  
"Fine.. Fine then, kid. Their's this Hutt who goes by the name of Trandis. I'm sure you can strike up some sort of deal with him which would allow you to be smuggled off this heap of junk. Does that satisfy you, BLASTER boy?" Canderous asked me, gritting his teeth. He was obviously annoyed at my questions and to be perfectly honest, I didn't care as long as he answered them. I nodded in his direction.  
  
"Thanks Mandalorian." I said as I turned on my heel and left.  
  
***  
  
"Ohh... You're in a bad position human." Trandis the Hutt told me after I explained my story to him. "But I shall tell you how I can help you. If you bring to me the Parysidian-" Trandis was suddenly interrupted as all the other mercenaries in the room gasped at the mention of the word "Parysidian". Trandis looked around, glaring at anyone who dared to interrupt him before continuing "If you bring me the Parysidian I can set up a deal with a smuggler and get you off of Coruscant, how about it?" He asked me. A tiny groan escaped my lips but it was barely audible. Why did Hutts have to be so good at this bargaining and diplomatic stuff?  
  
"First of all, what is the Parysidian and what does it do?" I asked the Hutt. Trandis just laughed at me, reaching down to his side and grabbing a rodent which he ungracefully shoved into his mouth and chomped upon. I heard a muffled scream and a soft squishing sound as Trandis began digesting the poor little mite.  
  
"You do not need to know what it does or what I intend to do with it. All you need to know is that it's the artifact in the museum that those foolish curators keep under close watch. I hope you also understand that you will not be paid for this mission, human." Trandis informed me as he slithered around on the spot. I nodded in his direction and folded my arms. I wondered what in Revan's name they wanted this Parysidian object for. I wondered what such a rotten, stinking, filthy Hutt could do with it. I decided, however, that it was best if I left those questions for my mind only. Trandis may be unpredictable and I didn't want to risk losing my head by opening my big mouth.  
  
It was probably the wisest time I'd ever chose upon to keep it closed.  
  
"So what do you say Jaro? Will you accept this mission?" I glared at the Hutt for a moment and thought about it. I evaluated what could possibly happen and what could possibly go wrong. I decided that it was a dangerous mission, one that I wouldn't be paid for and one that I may die on. I also saw it as my only option and by the way the other mercenaries gasped, not a very good option at that. But Hutt's are thieving bastards. Not being paid; putting my life on the line for this object was a right drag, I could use some credits somewhere along the line after all. But I knew that if I did risk my life on this job then I'd get something that credit chits cannot buy. My life and my freedom. So, I smirked at the Hutt, my lips curling upwards, reflecting my devious train of thought. I opened my mouth and spoke.  
  
"It's a deal."  
  
--------------------  
  
Vivid Scripts: Thanks for saying that what I've done is good. So are you one of the "Carth is a whiner" crew you see littered on the bioware forums? :) .. I bet not.. But if you are, it makes me feel good that you're reading this story. On an extraneous note myself.. I haven't completed the male kotor game.. But I can tell you on the female game .. If your gonna play through the romance.. Carth is more fun when you tease him.. Don't be nasty.. Just tease him.. i.e. calling him a "Hairless Wookie" never grows old ;). The DS ending may interest you with Carth also.. I don't want to spoil it too much, though. And finally.. I've heard a lot of guys who have played both romances through say the Revan/Carth one is a lot more fulfilling.. So you may enjoy it or you may not.. It all depends on the individual I guess. As for KOTOR 2? Hmmm.. The rumour is that Obsidian will be working on it.. It's not stone cold fact though.. And, really.. I'd much prefer it if someone stuck the cut ending back in!  
  
Shadow39: It's sad.. but this isn't as sad.. Carth's becoming a very naughty boy now as you can see ^_^. Thanks for reviewing. 


	24. Parysidian

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Twelve  
  
Parysidian  
  
Night bathed Coruscant as I began my ascent to the higher reaches of this wonderous but sometimes daunting planet. I felt the beams of ambient light flash past my face as the elevator ascended to the magnificent, but dangerous streets. Occasionally the elevator stopped and a few citizens joined me inside. As the elevator started to ascend again my legs jolted and locked into place so that I could remain balanced and focused. As I got closer to my destination the beams of light seemed more intense and in turn made me feel weary. I was on full view for anyone, especially the law. I backed myself into the corner of the elevator, fearful and paranoid of anyone recognising me.  
  
The accurate, sharp shadows of the corner enveloped my body fully into darkness. It suited not only my astute figure but also my mind, heart and soul. I watched as the light pierced through the middle of the elevator, but this time only to shine and illuminate the very back of the elevator. On that night the air was damp due to the rain that was pounding the streets, it sounded similar to the millions on Coruscant clapping their hands together in unision. The rain was loud, disturbingly loud. Loud enough for me to not be as sneaky as I originally intended. It didn't ease my irate paranoia however, it only strengthened it. What people could not hear in sound they could see with eyes and in this illumination I was as lit up as a lightsabre.  
  
The elevator promptly stopped and I stepped out into the pouring rain, feeling the cold droplets splash against my face. I set my blaster to stun, not willing to hurt anyone completely innocent and made my way in the direction of the museum. I kept to the seedy, dark alleyways in fear of the illuminated streets that provided little or no cover for my mission. I was soon staring at the museum, shut down in complete darkness, a contrast against the rest of the buildings. I examined the outside of the building. All quiet. I knew however that if I was to bust my way in through the front doors I'd have combat droids ready and willing to take me down.  
  
I scouted around the perimeter of the building and skulked down an alleyway, to my luck I saw a way in. But it wasn't an easy way. Curse P.D.I. was all that came to my mind as I started to scale the wall of the building. Fortunately, it wasn't as common as the other building's in Coruscant and was relatively small.  
  
I was soon on the roof. I hunched down low, creeping across the roof of the building before coming to a window. I reached out, trembling slightly as I grasped the handle to the window. It was locked, no such luck for me that evening. I looked beside the window, a crude but effective panel was there, waiting for me to slice it. So I done so. Voila. The window opened, no alarms, no sirens. I almost wondered if this was some kind of unusual trap.  
  
I threw my legs over and down through the window, lowering my whole body downwards with support from my arms. I knew what I was looking for in there. It was the artifact I saw the other day, except, Tandris gave it a name. The Parysidian. I remembered the first time I saw it. That weird looking obelisk artifact that was small enough to fit in someones palm. I wondered if the artifact merely had sentimental value, or if it had some kind of deep, hidden value. After all, the latter was always something that haunted me and I wasn't going to start ruling out my suspicions. Not when I'd had so many close calls and too many surprises in the past. It's amazing I wasn't dead with worry but at least being alive and insane with paranoia was better than not being alive at all. The memory of seeing that artifact made me shudder and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up on end.  
  
I didn't relish the idea of having to look at it, nevermind hold it, guard it and hand it to a Hutt. Their was something that radiated from the artifact, something that made me cringe. Maybe it was just mere superstition or maybe I've met with darkness too many times in the past to know the all too familiar feeling.  
  
I sneaked around the museum until I was at familiar ground, memories flooded me from visiting this room the other day. I turned to my left and examined Revan's robes. I placed my hand on the glass that seperated me from her robes, I took a deep breath. Even here, even in her "mysterious disappearance" I swore that I could smell her, even though she was not there. For a while I kept staring at her old equipment, I was almost in awe. "Oh Revy.." I muttered under my breath. Then I remembered the mission. Turning my head to the right, I saw the Parysidian.  
  
The shadows danced in the corner of my eye, was I being watched? I decided to ignore the shadows and play it down to a trick of the light. I was too excited to be suspicious, excited in the thought that I would be safe at least for a little while. I gently removed the glass covering that enveloped the Parysidian.  
  
Suddenly a vibroblade was up against my neck, threatening to end my life. "Not so fast, Jaro." I heard the husky tone of Maria say. She'd been watching me, but why was she here? "You're so damn pesky. Always getting in my way! Look, the Parysidian is mine and I'm going to take it so don't you dare stop me, dead man." Maria told me. I held my hands up in surrender. Why did my suspicion always have to fail me when I needed it the most?  
  
"Sure thing, Maria." I replied, moving away from the Parysidian.  
  
"I see. I see now." Maria retorted as she began to laugh, cruelly. "This was going to be your bargaining tool to escape my wrath. Tough luck, dead man. Once I take this back to Parda I'm gonna be rich! Then I'll sort you out. But not now, not when they can trace it back to me." Maria added.  
  
"Oh, how *very* thoughtful of you." I replied with more than a hint of sarcasm in my tone of voice.  
  
"Quiet!" Maria ordered, her delicate hands moving towards the Parysidian. She stroked it softly. Maybe she felt the dark corruption that I did? I watched as Maria cupped the Parysidian into her tiny hands. She grinned, pocketing it and turning away, leaving the museum.  
  
No wonder it was so damn quiet. Maria had probably been inside the building for a lot longer than I had. I watched as she walked away. "Maria." I called out to her. She turned around, squinting at me.  
  
"Yes?" She asked, not amused by me stopping her. I smiled.  
  
"You forgot one thing." I told her, grinning to myself in amusement.  
  
"Oh?" Maria replied, seeming a little surprised.  
  
"I've got a blaster and I'm in control." I said to her. Maria's eyes widened as she turned to run but she was too slow. I drew my blaster and shot her. She was knocked out and stunned on the floor.  
  
I promptly lifted her up in my arms, flinging her over my shoulder and ran back into the alleyways for cover..  
  
----------------  
  
Vividscripts: No problem with the tips.  
  
Shadow39: Oh ya.. He's in trouble! my two loyal fans lol ^_^ 


	25. Fate

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Thirteen  
  
Fate  
  
I sat quietly, watching the darkness fill the apartment. I kept a close eye on the outside and on Maria all night. She was still stunned from my blaster fire. All night I asked myself why. Why did I let Maria Mortis live? Why does she still have hold of the Parysidian? Why am I not running away and leaving her? Why did I administer Kolto to her? The questions echoed inside my head all night long, they left no answers, no solace. To me, that made sense. When was I ever truly in peace? I shall tell you what I wanted, what I truly wanted.  
  
I brought myself back to the events of my adventure with Revan and the Star Forge.  
  
***  
  
"You gave me a future. I want to give you a future, too... With me. I think I could love you, if you give me the chance." I said to Revan, staring into her eyes. I shifted uncomfortably on the spot, declarations of love were hard for me to do, especially when I was so confident that Revan would reject me. I thought she would toss me aside, especially with the brief moment we shared, standing in complete silence. I moved my eyes to the ground below me, fearing the look in her eyes, fearing that she may rip my heart away from me. The silence between us continued. I blushed, thinking I had lost and lazily let my hands rest by my sides. Revan emitted a tiny sigh and then she opened her mouth.  
  
"I think I could love you, too." Revan said to me. The words escaped her mouth with such ease, I was shocked. I suddenly looked back at Revan, smiling, she'd made me happy. The months of flirting, persuasion and arguing had finally paid off. The woman I wanted so much was mine and their was nothing that was going to stand in our way, nothing that was going to take us away from each other.  
  
Or so I thought.  
  
I was such a fool. I was a "lovesick fool" as Canderous eloquently put it. I thought me and Revan were strong. I thought that if she was weak, then I could be her pillar of strength, that I could help her to be strong in the light.  
  
I was so wrong.  
  
I thought about what I had planned after the destruction of the Star Forge, when everything would be quiet and the galaxy would remain in peace.  
  
My main plan was to take Revan to Telos with me. If Dustil was to reject me then Revan would be there. It sounded incredibly selfish but I knew that she was the only person that would encourage some sort of relationship to blossom between me and Dustil. I wasn't strong enough to confront Dustil on my own and I knew it. I also knew that if Revan was present there, it would most likely make things worse. It was a chance I was willing to take. I knew that even though it may make the encounter worse, her charisma and charm may pull a miracle off and reconcile me and Dustil. Besides, I knew me and Dustil were pretty far irretrievable at the time. And as I found out when I went to visit him, my thoughts were true. However, my mind gloriously played the events of the future over and over to itself. The future I wanted so badly, the future I ached for.  
  
That was the short term.  
  
What I saw in the long term was, when I look back, even more far fetched.  
  
Marriage. Marriage to Revan would have been wonderful, or so it seemed at the time. I realised that I was truly besotted with her to think such things when I was only really beginning to know her. Maybe it was her charm, her charisma. She was certainly something. Truth be known, Revan was the woman I could envision myself settling down with. Hell, me and Revy would not live happily ever after, what couple did? Given our troubles, our traumitised pasts, it would be even worse, but me and Revan would be *strong*. We would fight through every hurdle, every stumble we found ourselves in and emerge as true lovers, true victors.  
  
What a stupid.. *STUPID* pipe dream.  
  
Curse me.. Curse me. It kept running through my mind, ever presently. Curse me for falling for that woman, curse me!  
  
As you know, things never worked out that way and they probably never will. That night aboard the Star Forge when I was manipulated through love, blackmailed into obeying her every whim, I realised something.  
  
I realised that fate kicked me in the face again.  
  
It made me stop.  
  
I asked.  
  
"Now what? Now which one of you decided to kick me *THIS* time?"  
  
Hmph..  
  
Hard to believe that my thoughts wandered to Canderous. I wondered if the great warrior, the warrior who ached for the heat of the battle had ever experienced a battle of a completely different kind.  
  
I would call it the hardest battle of all.  
  
The battle with a torn heart.  
  
I decided to get a grip of myself. Canderous in love? It just didn't bare thinking about. That man didn't know how to treat a woman with a tender touch of his fingertips. No. He fought love the only way he knew. With his curled up, angry fists.  
  
Bastila. My mind wandered to Bastila and the way Canderous had treated her. I realised that by not comforting her, regardless of how much I hated her manipulating little soul that it made me just as bad as him. I left her crying, broken and distraught. Why did she not kill him?  
  
I chuckled to myself.  
  
I had first hand experience of why the Sith and the Jedi's condemn love.  
  
Let me jump on the swoop bike with them.  
  
My advice is to not fall in love, it's not worth the trouble.  
  
Love crushed my feelings.  
  
Love turned me into the failure that I am.  
  
I silently told myself that I would never fall in love again.  
  
***  
  
My hours of thought dwindled as the light bathed the apartment gently. I turned towards Maria and watched her, she groaned softly. Maria's big eyes opened, she examined her bound hands in fear and grunted against the gag I placed around her mouth. Maria stared at me, examining me from head to toe. "Easy." I whispered to her as I walked to the chair I tied her to and removed her gag.  
  
Maria took one long, hard look at me in disgust before opening her mouth and spitting on me. I felt her saliva hit the side of my cheek and I pulled my own face of disgust at her. "That's a filthy habit you have Maria." I told her. I watched as she smirked in triumph but I would not let her win. I was tired of letting women win. I reached for the gag and wrapped it securely around her mouth again. Her protests and screams came louder now, but I didn't care. I'd gave her mercy and she threw it back in my face.  
  
I searched her pockets before finding the Parysidian. "I'm keeping this, Maria." I told her, placing the artifact neatly in my pocket. I wiped the side of my face and started to make a move to walk out the apartment. Her cries became longer and more desperate, she was begging for me to release her. Curse me and my weakness for women. I walked back towards her and removed the gag. "Now what?" I asked her. Her head gestured at the window and I looked outside.  
  
Coruscant authorities were making their way to this building, I glared at Maria in fear. "I'll cut you a deal" She said to me. I didn't trust her, but at the moment I had no option *but* to trust her. "If you give me the artifact, I'll wipe the slate clean.. I'll-" I didn't give her chance to finish. I ran over to her and cut the bonds that tied her to the chair.  
  
"Maria. I make the deals here, not you. What did you have planned for this artifact?" I asked her. Maria huffed at me like she didn't want to be bothered. I watched as she stood up and started to brush herself clean, her hand moving instinctively to her back, rubbing the wound as best as she could from where I shot her.  
  
"There's no time." She replied to me. I laughed at her, grabbing her by the arm.  
  
"Don't you give me that bantha crap, sister." I huffed at her, tightening the grip on her arm as I felt her resist my grasp.  
  
"Fine.." She said before continuing. "FINE. I was going to Anchorhead to give the artifact to a Hutt. He promised to pay me a lot of credits." Maria answered me. I moved towards the window, taking Maria with me and sneakily peered outside. The Coruscant authorities were still poised outside the building, asking bystanders questions. I didn't blame them. In this rough place their was no telling what life had in store for you.  
  
"With a smuggler no doubt." I stated. I turned softly towards her and watched as she nodded in my direction. I now saw a chance to leave Coruscant and I decided to take it. "Smuggle me on board. Take me with you. Wipe the slate clean. Then.. And *only* then will I hand you the artifact." I told her. Maria groaned and sighed at me.  
  
"As much as I don't wish to say this... DEAD MAN.. It's a deal. You will be known as Jaro from now on.. But, if you don't let go of my arm.. I will take the Parysidian away from your rotting corpse." Maria replied, threatening me. I reluctantly released my grip from her arm and watched as she picked up her vibroblades, sheathing them.  
  
I walked towards her and handed her the Parysidian.  
  
***  
  
All was quiet aboard the ship. I lay still, waiting for Maria or the smuggler to say the coast was clear. It was cramped inside of the box but at least it got me off Coruscant and away from trouble with the law there. I grinned to myself at the thought of being carried around as "Precious Cargo" or with "Extremely Fragile. Handle with care." plastered on the box. I wasn't left to muse long enough, however.  
  
The box opened slowly with a grunt of a small female removing the lid. She looked down at me.  
  
"Jaro!" The purple Twi'lek cried.  
  
"Sister!" I replied, in an attempt to annoy Rivu. I watched as Rivu rolled her eyes.  
  
"Brother!" She exclaimed, teasing me. I watched as she offered me a hand and I gladly accepted, using it to pull myself out of the box. "Well, whaddya know? What's the chances of *THAT* happening?" She said to me almost immediately.  
  
"More than a million to one. But after my life, *nothing* surprises me, sister." I told her, flashing her a little smile, knowing she'd be annoyed at me for calling her "sister" again.  
  
"Whatever.... BROTHER!" Rivu yelled back in jest as her headtails flapped and wrapped around her neck, defensively. I let out a little chuckle.  
  
"It's fate Rivu.." I replied to her. I let out a little sigh as the memories of Revan came creeping back.  
  
"It's fate."  
  
----------  
  
Thanks for the support you three (you know who you are) I keep writing my hearts out for you souls..! It may be a little boring at the moment, but it certainly gets funnier and better. 


	26. Sometimes I really do despair

A Failure's Tale - Chapter Fourteen  
  
Sometimes I really despair  
  
I sat on the side of my bunk, relaxing. I hadn't had much chance to relax as the events of the past few days unfolded. Naturally, I still didn't trust Maria but I suppose for now that she would keep to her word. Besides, I figure if she was going to kill me that she'd do it now or after we've met Parda the Hutt but something told me Maria didn't completely intend to kill me. Something told me that maybe me and Maria could end up as partners on the long term, or so I hoped we would. I needed something to do, some aim in my life. Even if I end up as a mercenary or smuggler at least I'd have some purpose other than "waiting" for Revan.  
  
I scratched my head when I realised what I had thought. I was "waiting" for Revan? I tried not to boggle at myself, if that was even possible. I'd stopped denying that mysterious dream I had of Morgana the other night and began to look beyond it. It was now my only string of hope, the only thing I had to hold onto and I didn't even know why I did so. I can only assume that it was more than just a dream, I really don't want to reiterate this but the dream seemed so real. I felt Morgana, her every touch, her every word. I searched my mind for her face, for once in my life I could remember her face. I let out a relieved sigh, I was at peace.  
  
I stood up and paced about the sleeping quarters. This was Rivu's ship and it was obvious that Rivu and Maria knew each other. Were Maria and Rivu partners? If they were, it would definitely increase my chances although knowing smugglers and knowing Rivu I would probably be referred to as a decrease in profit and too much weight to carry around on the ship. I could just imagine Rivu saying something like "Dump Jaro out the airlock! He's too bloody weighty and we must smuggle more.. We must!" I chuckled softly to myself and imagined myself flying out the airlock only to be greeted with my cigarra packet flying towards me in Rivu's temper. Not that I'd live to see it. But I came to the realisation that if I could laugh about *that* then things were definitely looking up.  
  
I silently rested the weight of my arms on my hips and looked up at the ceiling. I sighed and started to shake my head. I realised that ever since the dream I had of Morgana that I'd started to be more of my ordinary self, started to let myself go a little more. I heard the happy whistling of Rivu outside the quarters and turned my head to look at her. "Hi sis'" I said to her, watching as her eyebrow raised at my greeting.  
  
"Not sister today, Jaro?" She asked me. I smiled at her, letting out a soft chuckle and shaking my head.  
  
"Nah. Not today kiddo." I told her, she began to laugh at my comments.  
  
"Kiddo? 'Kay.. 'Kay brother" Rivu replied to me, laughing all the time. I shifted around a bit and turned to face her completely.  
  
"Where's Maria?" I asked.  
  
"Oh.. She's in the cockpit, she isn't a bad pilot, y'know." Rivu replied to me as she started to walk into the sleeping quarters.  
  
"I gathered that. We haven't crash landed and I'm still alive." I told Rivu, she just gasped at my comments.  
  
"If Maria heard you say that.." I watched as Rivu trailed off and started to shake her head back and forth, her head tails gesturing at me. "You and Maria don't really-"  
  
"Get on? No sister." I interjected her statement with. Rivu nodded at me. "So.. Can I ask you how Dustil is? Have you seen him, Rivu?" I asked her seriously. Again, Rivu nodded in my direction.  
  
"I saw him. He's doing fine.. Their's no need to worry.." Rivu looked around her nervously to make sure Maria wasn't there and then whispered. "Carth." I nodded in her direction and winced slightly at her using my real name, I didn't mind all that much, especially since it was privately.  
  
"I worry about him because he is my son, sister." I told her, she smiled.  
  
"I understand that, brother." She replied to me. I winced at her.  
  
"Damn you woman! Must you always try and beat me with the sister, brother thing?" I said, my brow furrowing in frustration. Rivu nodded mischievously in my direction before sweetly and daintily leaving the sleeping quarters.  
  
What a cute kid.  
  
***  
  
"We'll be entering hyperspace soon." Maria was saying to Rivu as I walked into the cockpit and strapped myself in for the ride. Maria turned and gave me a sharp glare, looking me up and down. I returned the favour, in the exact same manner.  
  
Me and Maria almost hated each other to death.  
  
I watched as Rivu shifted around uncomfortably, embarassed by our exchange in glances. "Should I figure out all the navigation thingyums?" She asked Maria. Maria nodded.  
  
"I can never work those bloody things out." Maria said to Rivu. I stayed silent, watching as Rivu went up to the navigation panel and started to work out the co-ordinates for our next destination. I watched as Rivu flawlessly typed in the correct co-ordinates for Tatooine.  
  
"No welcome, Maria?" I asked her. I watched as she concentrated on the flight and completely ignored me. "Hmmm?" I enquired.  
  
"Leave it out, Jaro." She replied to me, annoyed by my statements. Rivu sat down in the co-pilots seat and I placed a cigarra in my mouth, lighting it. "Give me one." She demanded, I shrugged at her. "I said.. Give me one!" Maria demanded again, I shook my head at her.  
  
"Greet me first." I stated to her, taking a puff on the cigarra. Maria turned to glare at me, her eyes were like daggers and I think she wanted to stab me.. Hard.  
  
"Hello." Maria responded through her teeth, it was good enough for me however. I threw a cigarra in her direction and she caught it perfectly.  
  
"Light up kiddo." I told Maria, leaning back in the chair as she shoved Rivu's ship into hyperspace. I watched as she burst out laughing.  
  
"Kiddo?" She asked me, as she looked at me. I nodded at her and she carried on laughing. I left her in her hysterical state and turned to Rivu.  
  
"Rivu, what is this ship called by the way?" I asked her.  
  
"Er.." Rivu said as she drifted off chomping on some snacks that she left lying about. "Freedom's Fate." She told me, I nodded in her direction. Maria had barely stopped laughing.  
  
"I am older than you imagine, Jaro." She responded.  
  
"But are you wise?" I asked, nodding in her direction triumphantly and taking another puff on my cigarra.  
  
"Wiser than you can imagine." She replied, never daring to turn back and look me in the eye. I began to chuckle softly at her. "Hey.. You're living because I said so, just don't push your luck." Maria added. Rivu just looked nervously back and forth at me and Maria.  
  
"I'm livin' because I got brains, sister." I answered her, having another puff on my cigarra and promptly putting it out.  
  
"Just leave me unsupervised with a weapon that's just casually lying around and we'll see how long you have those brains for." Maria said angrily.  
  
"Oh. I see, we're touchy today. It's.. Uh.." I said, grinning and then blushing at what I was about to say "It's not that time of the MONTH is it?" I asked, blushing away. Maria glared at me and started to walk past me.  
  
"If I didn't agree to spare you, you'd be dead." Maria whispered in my ear, promptly leaving the cockpit.  
  
"Well, that was logically obvious..." I muttered to myself. I watched as Rivu got up from the co-pilots seat and moved to the pilot's seat that Maria had just previously occupied. I got up and moved into the co-pilots seat. I mused to myself, at least I was getting a day off from flying and that never really occured often.  
  
Rivu stared at me and started to giggle softly suddenly. "What now?" I asked, looking in her direction as I thumbed for another cigarra. This time, Rivu reached out and stole it from me, breaking it in half. "HEY! That was my last one, sister!" I exclaimed to her, annoyed that she dare take my cigarra away from me.  
  
"They're bad for you. You can wait for Tatooine can't ya? Oh deary me.. heehee." Rivu replied to me, chuckling away at something.  
  
"Spit it out, sister." I demanded of her, my brow furrowing at her for destroying my last cigarra.  
  
"You and Maria.. You have the hots for her, brother." Rivu said to me in a serious fashion. I glared at her and I let out a soft growl from my voice in anger.  
  
"Don't you dare..." I muttered to her, Rivu started to laugh.  
  
"Or what, Jaro?" Rivu asked winking at me, she began to chuckle again. "I mean.. It can't be that bad, I suppose she's kind of attractive to a male." She added.  
  
I let out a groan and another growl. "Don't even go there, sister." I placed my foot up on one of the plain panels and rubbed my hand through my short hair several times.  
  
"So you don't like her?" Rivu asked me, raising her eyebrow.  
  
"Of COURSE I don't! Listen. Are you.." I took a deep breath, composing myself "Are you crazy, sister?! If she was the last woman in the galaxy I wouldn't even CONSIDER relations of that nature.. With that... That.. bloodthirsty, RAMPANT *RANCOR!*" I yelled at her. I immediately blushed however, realising that I may have caught Maria's attention but fortunately I didn't. Rivu sat there giggling at me mercilessly. "I can't believe you even thought of that!" I added.  
  
"Keep your hair on, brother." Rivu replied. Suddenly their was silence and then Rivu began laughing all over again. "She'd probably break you in half with what you're thinking of doing with her" She said, teasing me again. Suddenly, I wanted to quip at how that would be incredibly hard to do to a man like me, considering my past and all but I decided that Rivu may take this the wrong way. She was half my age after all and I certainly didn't want to sound like I was hitting on her, because it wasn't that way at all. I just held my head in my hands temporarily and grumbled.  
  
"Women..."  
  
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Rivu asked me. I completely ignored her question.  
  
"Sometimes, I really *do* despair."  
  
***  
  
Parda the Hutt examined the Parysidian carefully, a small grin erupted across his face. "Heh heh. You have done well Miss Mortis." He said to Maria, I watched carefully as the Hutt seemed absolutely fascinated with the object. I raised an eyebrow as Maria bowed before the Hutt. "Oh, of course. Your payment." Parda handed Maria the payment of credits and she handed them to me to keep hold of.  
  
"Thankyou, Parda. Is there anything else you wish of me to do?" Maria asked the Hutt. The Hutt looked me up and down, chuckling to himself.  
  
"Who is the human male? He looks sharp." Parda said to Maria. I just looked at the Hutt and stood motionlessly as Maria turned around.  
  
"That's someone that decided to tag along... Unfortunately." Maria replied to Parda. Parda just carried on laughing.  
  
"Well, on your next mission take the human male with you. He looks useful." Parda told Maria. I heard her groan.  
  
"No. I'm not going to take Jaro with me, anywhere. Period." She replied to Parda. I smiled as Parda began to laugh at Maria cruelly.  
  
"You will do as you're told. This mission is simple enough. I want you to collect some overdue payments..." Parda the Hutt muttered to Maria "From Manaan." He added, again, Maria groaned.  
  
"But-" She was interrupted.  
  
"I'm aware of the Selkath and their laws, but you can handle it can't you Miss Mortis? I'm sure the male will help you." Parda told Maria. I chuckled to myself, it was ample opportunity to annoy Maria but it was also going to give me something to do and well, it was also going to ensure that I lived just a *little* bit longer.  
  
I hoped Revan would turn up soon and perhaps slaughter Maria for daring to say she'll kill me.  
  
She would turn up, right?  
  
I hoped..  
  
"Fine.. I'll do it.. But I swear Parda! This is the *only* mission that *he* gets to join on." Maria told the Hutt as she pointed in my direction, angrily. I grinned when Maria turned around, victorious. She didn't like it one bit, she *was* Maria Mortis after all. Parda chuckled happily at the idea of it all. "Bye Parda." Maria said in a mere whisper as she left his grand room in Anchorhead.  
  
On the way out I handed Maria the credits I was looking after. Maria was storming around, completely annoyed by what Parda had told her. "Come on.. It's not that bad Maria." I told her, trying to convince her that I could be beneficial to her.  
  
"You're kidding, right? I swear.. I swear Jaro.. One word to me and I'll kill you." She told me, jogging back to Freedom's Fate in a stroppy fashion.  
  
"Oh yes.." I muttered to myself.  
  
"I *really* DO despair!"  
  
-------------  
  
Sorry about the lack of updates! :).  
  
Vivid Scripts: I'll get around to reading the rest of your story, k? 


	27. Cruel to be kind

A Mercenary's Tale - Chapter One  
  
Cruel to be kind  
  
"Well, welcome to the Mercenary life, Jaro." Maria told me as the Freedom's Fate landed on the docking bay. I nodded in her direction, I didn't expect her to take the news so well, but somehow she managed to. "I just despair over the fact that you were assigned the job of finding the Parysidian, and failed." She added, I raised my eyebrow. Maria turned and looked at me. "What I mean is, the Hutt you bargained with will probably send bounty hunters after you." She said. I watched as she got up from the seat and left for the sleeping quarters.  
  
Maria and I hadn't exactly been getting on during the trip there, which was to be expected. She was a lone hunter, she didn't need some old guy watching out for her all the time. No, Maria could look after herself and I don't think she liked the idea of Parda suggesting that she needed otherwise. To summarise our trip to Ahto City and Manaan, I would say that we mostly mumbled and grunted greetings at each other. Maria and I never have and probably never will engage in any kind of conversation about each other. Although, from what she said to me previously, I have a feeling that the womans technique of questioning will finally set in and I'll be digging my heels firmly into the ground.  
  
Maria walked back into the cockpit and sat down in the pilot's seat. "We leave under the cover of darkness. After the scuffle that Revan and Bastila had all those years ago the Selkath law hasn't been quite the same, however, it's still incredibly easy for us to be caught." She told me, I nodded in her direction.  
  
"I know a lot about this place." I replied to her, leaning back in the co- pilots seat and staring out at the sea that surrounded Manaan.  
  
"Oh really?" Maria enquired, playing with her hair. "What do you know about here?" She asked as she started to untie her hair from the ridiculous tail she had it in.  
  
"I know that Manaan is covered by water and that Kolto is how this planet makes its credits. I suppose you could say economy is booming here, that was until the Revan and Bastila incident. I don't know why the Selkath let the Sith back here, but I guess we just have to accept that." I said to Maria, placing a cigarra between my lips and lighting it whilst watching her play with her hair.  
  
"What languages do you know, Jaro?" Maria asked as she bent forward and started to tie her hair back in a small bun.  
  
"Basic, obviously." I said, sighing. "Ithorian, Duros, Twi'lek and Wookie." I replied to her. I noticed that the fact I understood the Wookie language was enough to emit a small chuckle off the petite woman.  
  
"Wookie.. Heh. Oh well, I know that language too. I guess we're both equal then, except that I know more languages than you." Maria told me, leaning back in her chair and looking up at the ceiling.  
  
"Ah... Talented I see." I said to her. She turned around and glared at me and I replied by shrugging my shoulders.  
  
Well that was a good sign, at least she still hated me.  
  
I stood up with the cigarra hanging out my mouth and decided to go and wake Rivu, she was having far too much beauty sleep. I entered the sleeping quarters and yelled "HEY, sleepy sister. Get up! It's 5am!" I heard a groan coming from underneath the bunk and walked over to the young Twi'lek. I prodded Rivu in the shoulder a few times "Wakey wakey" I told her. She silently gave me a finger gesture, of which I could say was very rude. "Now now. I'm a lot older than you and you should have listened to my wisdom last night with that Correlian ale! What were you thinking?" I asked her. Yet again Rivu responded with a tiny little groan. "Right then. Have it that way Rivu." I stated to her, storming out of the room.  
  
I prompty walked out of the Freedom's Fate and onto the landing bay that Maria had landed us in. I scanned the area and saw Maria bargaining for our landing fee. I grinned and walked straight past her. "Hey Jaro what's the big idea?" She asked me and I just turned, flashing her a big grin before carrying straight on. I looked to my left and saw a pot that was being used for.. Nothing. I picked it up and walked to the railings that seperated me from the ocean of Manaan. "Jaro, what in Kun's name are you doing?" Maria asked me as I hopped over the railings.  
  
"Just hang on a minute sister and I'll be right back." I replied to Maria as I started to clamber down. Maria popped her head over the railings and watched me on my descent.  
  
"Careful, you may pull a muscle old guy." Maria quipped to me with a cruel laugh. I stopped temporarily and gave her a glare.  
  
"I'm not *that* old." I retorted as I puffed on my cigarra a few times. I carried on with my descent and when I reached the bottom I carefully dipped the pot in the water before ascending again.  
  
"Are you out of your mind?" Maria asked me when I got to the top. I climbed over the railings before even considering answering her.  
  
"No. I just need to wake up our resident Twi'lek alcoholic." I replied to her letting the cigarra fall from my mouth and quenching the last of it with my foot.  
  
"But it's only 5am!-" Maria insisted.  
  
"Rubbish. I used to get up at 4am-" I retorted.  
  
"Must have been a Soldier at some point then." She interrupted.  
  
"Enough." I stated to her in quick succession. How did women manage to always do that? I began walking and Maria soon followed me until I was back on board the Freedom's Fate. I giggled to myself menacingly and whispered "Time to get you back for the little bed clothes trick you played on me a year ago." Maria raised an eyebrow at me.  
  
"Bed clothes trick? Wait.. I.. Uh.. Don't want to know what Rivu has done with you." Maria answered me. I stopped and turned, gawping at her.  
  
"Yes.. I really *did* take Rivu down to the beach and make mad, passionate love to her." I said with more than a hint of sarcasm before taking a deep breath and adding "What are you, crazy? She's half my age!"  
  
"I never said it, so obviously you were thinking it." Maria retorted with, an obvious attempt to annoy me. Again, I glared at her.  
  
"You know, I can always throw this pot of water over you and get some more for Rivu, if you really want to continue annoying me." I told her, holding the pot of water up with a mischievous grin plastered over my face.  
  
"You know, once you throw the pot of water over me you'll be dead in 3 seconds." Maria replied to me as the grin suddenly disappeared from my face. I began walking again and stopped inside Rivu's quarters.  
  
"Hey Rivu, remember me?" I asked her, the young Twi'lek just groaned in response. I was pretty much sick of her attitude.  
  
So I walked over and tipped the pot of water over her head.  
  
Rivu shrieked and jumped out of bed before slapping my chest a few times in outright temper "How dare you do that, you beast!" I chuckled at her.  
  
"Got a headache, sister?" I asked her feeling victorious.  
  
"Ya.. And his name is Jaro Kep, BROTHER." Rivu replied, drying herself off with her bed clothes. "Maria, just do me a favour. KILL HIM!" She yelled at Maria who was now quite amused by the whole idea. "Hey.. Maria, what are you laughing at?" Rivu asked.  
  
"It's just.. I've never.. Nevermind." Maria said, unable to control her laughter. She carried on that way for a few minutes before leaving. I gave Rivu a small grin which was returned by a evil glare and left also.  
  
I returned to the cockpit, stretching and sitting down in the co- pilots seat. "That should wake our Twi'lek friend up" I said, noticing Maria in the other seat.  
  
"Indeed." Came Maria's one word answer. Maria gently scratched her hair and took long, drawn sips of her Caffa that she must have made but a few minutes ago "So. You were a soldier?" Maria asked.  
  
"Enough. I don't want to answer questions about my past. I talked about it once to a lady and that was enough, never ever am I doing that again. So please.. Maria? Just drop it." I replied to her feeling a little bit sad over my past.  
  
"Well.. Answer this for me. Where were you born?" Maria asked. I grumbled softly.  
  
"You.. You're not going to give up are you?" I asked her. Maria turned and shook her head, I sighed. "I was born on-" I was promptly interrupted.  
  
"Let me guess.. Telos." Maria interjected with.  
  
"You're right, but, how did you know?" I asked, furrowing my eyes with suspicion.  
  
"Simple. Your accent screams of it." She replied, taking another sip of her Caffa. "Was it bad after the war?" Maria added.  
  
"Goodbye Maria." I said, angrily.  
  
"Hey.. Why? It was a question I've asked other Telosians.. The destruction of Telos is no secret, you know!" Maria retorted also angrily.  
  
"I don't want to talk on it. We're in this as a partnership, it's nothing personal. And I hope for the galaxy's sake it never *will* be." I replied to her.  
  
"Well so do I, Jaro. So do I." Maria said, smirking at me. "I'd like nothing better but to put my blade to your throat, but I can't so I live with it." She added, promptly turning and leaving me to my own devices and thoughts. 


	28. Nightfall

A Mercenary's Tale - Chapter Two  
  
Nightfall  
  
Night fell onto Manaan. Maria and I were treading around carefully, avoiding the cameras that would be so keenly watching us. "We have to get into the cantina and then get out of here, Jaro. The Selkath don't like the idea of "paid protection"" Maria told me. We carried on sneaking around Ahto City until we reached the cantina.  
  
It wasn't the time, but my mind wandered to Revan.  
  
I didn't ponder on what happened a year ago, instead I pondered on what happened two years ago. Revan, for one reason or another decided that it would be best to eradicate every walking, talking, living Jedi on Manaan. If they would not join her, then she would kill them. At this time, she was pure evil, pure anger and pure hate. She was nothing like what she become just before she disappeared.  
  
She spent a lot of time back then being evil to me and working on devious plans to make me love her, yet hate her even more. The longer I spent with Revan however, the more I seemed to melt her heart and vice versa. I was suddenly shot back into realisation for the real world when I spotted Maria drinking from a tumbler and lighting a cigarra. "Er.. What are you doing?" I asked her. Maria just sighed and threw both legs over one of the cantina's stools before sitting down.  
  
"Making myself welcome" She replied. She scratched her forehead and took another puff on the cigarra. I shrugged at her in response. It was after closing hours and the Selkath owner was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"So, with this being Manaan and all, would you like to remind me why they need to have paid protection?" I asked. Maria took another long puff on the cigarra, humming to herself softly. I watched as she tipped her head in one direction, puffing on her cigarra again. I turned my head to see what she was gesturing about. I walked over to a small compartment and wondered what would be in there, but I soon figured it out. It was probably Spice, or, some form of spice such as Glitterstim, Ryll or Carsunum. It soon became apparent that if no fights were started here or prevented before they could get out of control then the Selkath Law would never find out about the dodgy dealings that were going on here.  
  
I sat down beside Maria and pulled out my own cigarra and lit up. The owner of the cantina nonchanlantly walked out infront of us. "What do you think you're doing?" He asked. Maria rolled her eyes, sighing before putting out her cigarra.  
  
"I have to say this twice? I was making myself welcome." She replied angrily to the Selkath cantina owner.  
  
"I suppose you're one of Parda's mercenaries." The Selkath stated to Maria whilst moving for his own glass of poison. Maria nodded in his direction, taking one more long, drawn out sip from her tumbler, gasping in relief from the taste.  
  
"So give me the credits, and we'll be out of here. No trouble. No questions asked." Maria told the Selkath. I watched the Selkath carefully as he nodded his head and his hand went underneath the bar, his hand soon returned to the top of the bar and he handed Maria some credits. Maria gazed at the credits in her hand and shook her head.  
  
"This doesn't look like enough.." She replied trailing off as she thumbed her way through the credits that were in her hand, as she came closer to the end her head shook in disgust, firmly. "Correction. It isn't enough. Where's the rest of it Selkath?" Maria asked him, angrily.  
  
"We didn't make enough-" The Selkath was promptly interrupted.  
  
"That's a load of Bantha crap if I ever heard it" Maria replied. I watched as she reached out and grabbed the Selkath hard and brought him closer to her. "This is the last time I'll ask. WHERE'S the rest of the credits?" She asked him angrily. The Selkath bent down again, reaching for presumably more credits and his hand returned to above the bar. However, his hand didn't have hold of more credit chits, instead his hand had hold of a blaster.  
  
The Selkath pointed his blaster between Maria's eyes and I watched as she didn't even flinch. "That's not a smart move. Parda would remove his mercenaries and the law would be around here in a flash when a fight started." Maria told the Selkath. The Selkath laughed.  
  
"I have my own mercenaries now" He answered. My eyes darted back and forth between Maria as my hand grasped my blaster from its sheath. I pointed the blaster directly at the Selkath's temple.  
  
"Yes, but you still owe Parda credits." I said angrily at the Selkath. The Selkath turned and grinned at me, chuckling. I suddenly felt a blaster pointed at the back of my head, someone in the shadows had been watching the whole conversation unfold and was obviously on the Selkath's side. I closed my eyes in absolute dread and saw Maria shake her head at me from the corner of my eye. I licked my lips, raised my eyebrow and looked at Maria. Her hand was placed carefully on her vibroblade. I was hoping that whatever it was she had on her mind, she would draw her blade a lot faster and smoother this time.  
  
In a flash, Maria unsheathed her vibroblade and pointed it at the man behind me, threatening to kill him in some shape or form. I carried on looking ahead, however, trusting in Maria's abilities. For a while we all stood that way, not knowing who would strike first and how hard. Someone was going to lose their life though and I sincerely hoped it was anyone but me. I glanced across at Maria, wondering how we were going to get out of this situation. I looked around me and saw an answer.  
  
I decided to kick the stool into the mercenary behind me which sent him flying backwards.  
  
Maria quickly swung her blade around to the Selkath's neck and two more mercenaries burst in through the doors. In panic, I depressed the trigger and killed the Selkath. Maria had a face of thunder on her as she glared at me in quick succession. She walked towards the two mercenaries who now had their vibroblades drawn and entered an offensive stance. I felt myself being whipped around in surprise by the other mercenary and being punched in the face. My blaster flew out of my hand and I now had to duel the mercenary with my fists.  
  
I could hear vicious, shrilling sounds of blades slicing against each other in Maria's direction as I started to lash out against my attacker. I landed a few strong blows of my own but it was more of a rabble than any kind of tactical fight. My blows were not enough to knock the mercenary out and so I ran towards the bar. I reached over the bar and grasped for anything useful, my hand fell on a tumbler. I picked the tumbler up and smashed it over the mercenaries head, this time successfully rendering him unconcious.  
  
I turned my head and looked in Maria's direction, she was battling fiercely against both men at the same time. I retrieved my blaster and again my hand went over the bar to try and find anything useful. I kept staring at the fight. Maria was about to finish off one of the mercenaries but - "Maria! LOOK OUT!" I shouted as the other mercenary was about to decapitate Maria. My hand landed on a sharp, thin blade. It was obviously my luck. I grabbed it and threw it with all my might at the mercenary.  
  
The mercenary staggered backwards as the blade protruded from his chest, blood seeping from the wound. His eyes widened as he backed up against the wall and slid down it, leaving a long trail of blood, dripping down the wall. The mercenaries blade fell from his hand and his head crumpled towards the right as he exhaled his last ever breath.  
  
Maria successfully decimated her attacker in one swing and then she turned to face me. "I guess we're even, Maria." I said to her, grinning. If looks could kill, I'd be dead. Maria stood there staring at me, refusing to let her cold, icy eyes remove their grip on me.  
  
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you, Jaro." She said to me.  
  
"What have I done wrong?" I said as I left for the door, Maria following suit.  
  
"You killed the owner, now we'll never get any more credits, you do realise Parda is going to be livid, right?" She asked. I never really thought of that, I guess we were in deep trouble.  
  
Oh well.. 


	29. Civil war

A Mercenary's Tale - Chapter Three  
  
Civil war  
  
We were in mid hyperspace heading back to Tatooine and Parda's Palace. I decided that I would take a stroll up to the cockpit and take my turn at keeping watch, I'd been asleep the past five hours after all. Ever since my dream of Morgana my sleep had been undisturbed. I no longer had mysterious dreams or nasty nightmares plauging my every sleeping moment. Part of me felt relief, the other part of me felt utterly disturbed.  
  
I entered the cockpit and my eyes fell on the sleeping figure in the pilot's seat. Maria. Maria had confessed to me that after I killed the owner of the cantina on Manaan that she almost feared going back to report to Parda. Maria wondered what Parda would do and what lengths he would go to achieving them, but then Maria told me that she didn't really care anyway, it was me that should be worried, not her. After all, she is the best mercenary Parda has and he was unlikely to kill the best there. That bothered me however. I didn't exactly see Hutts, especially those who are crime lords, being into the whole "you are inexpendable" business. Something told me Maria was either over confident, naiive...  
  
Or she was just bloody good at what she does.  
  
So I sat down in the co-pilot's seat and began to consider the situation. Was Maria over confident? Yes. But she also struck me as a coward. After all, she did not want to deal with me back on Coruscant but allow someone three times my size to beat me to a bloody pulp.  
  
Was Maria naiive? To an extent, I decided this to be true. Back on Coruscant she had the chance to kill me, but something stopped her. Sure, it's insulting to call Maria naiive for that reason, especially when the reason allowed me to be alive with every part of my anatomy in working order. But the truth hurts and I guess she would just have to deal with it, not that she would ever know nor find out these thoughts of mine.  
  
Was Maria good at her living? Yes, insanely good. She was cold hearted, ruthless and brutal. It was a lethal combination and somehow I managed to live past it. Sheer luck or the Force? Although, I can imagine if Bastila were alive and could hear my thoughts she would be berating me for even considering it to be luck. No, everything has to be the Force. So I guess I will just put it down to the Force's will of wanting me to be alive, obviously, I'm in some kind of grand masterplan and I have to live through it.  
  
Somethings *did* disturb me about Maria though. The small flicker of fear, the small tremble when drawing her blade that day in the Temple. I didn't see her hand tremble ever again thus far, but I'd seen the look of fear a few times. Maria was torturous but it was almost as if the thrill of battle exhilirated her so much that she felt fear from it. I tried to decide inside my mind how that could possibly work, but I decided that their was no possible way it could. No matter how much I thought that it was true, something about it just didn't seem logically possible.  
  
I turned my head towards Maria and looked at her for a moment. She managed to look innocent and calm enough when she was asleep, but to believe that this petite woman could turn into a fully grown Rancor when she hears someone calling her by her first name was enough to put me off my thoughts, completely. I decided that Maria was the type of woman that would leave me wanting to be intimate with the comparitively placid Kath Hounds on Dantooine.  
  
She reminded me of something.  
  
A nagging wife.. NO.. Worse..  
  
A mother in law.. *cringe*  
  
Only the in laws knew how to shapeshift into Rancors, I guess it came with the job description. Maria wasn't an in law though, she was too young to be.  
  
I doubted Maria was even human.  
  
Maria was so infuriating, I decided that she was definitely a Rancor that could shapeshift into a human instead.  
  
So she was the opposite of in laws then? Ugh.. ..How confusing.  
  
How's this for an accurate description of Maria?  
  
Maria is.. Annoying, vicious, violent, brutal, excitable-  
  
I was disturbed by a loud snore.  
  
....  
  
..And she snores too. I decided this was going to be an incredibly *long* journey..  
  
Because of these reasons I decided to look at Maria's good points, I decided to see if their was any possible way that the good could outshine the bad.  
  
Well.. She was certainly attractive.  
  
That was it.  
  
Either I was being incredibly shallow or I wasn't looking hard enough at her. No. That was wrong, Maria was closed up, she never gave me a chance to pierce that rock hard exterior of hers to *allow* me to look closer at her. Everytime their was a joke, everytime their was serious conversation it would almost always end up with threats of my head rolling off in one direction or another. I was so convinced that she had run out of threats that sooner or later my head would be doing somersaults! The only thing Maria did seem accustomed to was getting me to talk to her and it was almost *always* in a cajoling manner. It was never questions, it was statements, thrown in my face.  
  
I was suddenly alerted to the fact that Maria was tossing and turning in her sleep. She was obviously having a nightmare. I walked over to her and placed a firm hand on her shoulder, nudging her back and forth vigorously. "Maria. Wake up." I ordered her. Maria soon stopped and opened her eyes. She looked directly at me, her eyes filled with surprise as she fixed her gaze on me. "That was some nightmare. What did you dream of?"  
  
"You." Maria said, unable to restrain a giggle. So she thought being nasty to me was funny? Well, that was nothing new to me. I sighed and sat back down in my chair, slumping down. Maria was never going to give me an inch. If I was in a more joyous mood I probably would have had some witty retort to use on her, but unfortunately or.. Fortunately, I didn't. Maria continued staring at me and laughing, I turned and looked at her.  
  
"What's the big idea?" I asked her. The laughing continued. "Well, tell me." I stated to her again, feeling really annoyed by her laughter.  
  
"It seems you really annoyed Rivu.." Maria said trailing off, unable to hold off her hysterics. I nodded in her direction.  
  
"Uh-huh" I said in response. Maria keeled up in her chair, closing her eyes not able to stop the howling of laughter she was in. "Look! What's so bloody funny, Maria?" I asked her.  
  
"You annoyed Rivu, a lot." Maria replied. I sighed and decided to play along.  
  
"Surprise me." I requested. Maria simply put one hand over her mouth in laughter and pointed at my hair. I ran my fingers through my hair, well, it felt fine.  
  
"Your hair..." Maria replied, keeling over in laughter. "It's..." She said. I stared at her, my body language aching for her to carry on. "It's.." Maria repeated.  
  
"It's purple!" Maria said almost crying in laughter.  
  
I started to blush, my eyebrows furrowed and my blood boiled. "RIVUUUUU!" I yelled extremely loudly in anger. "Wait until I get my hands on *you*!" I shouted again, leaving the cockpit and a hysterical Maria. 


	30. Questions and answers

A Mercenary's Tale - Chapter Four  
  
Questions and Answers  
  
I dipped my head into a water well in Anchorhead. People would claim it was a waste of water, but I didn't see it that way and besides no one was looking. I left my eyes open as the water bathed my hair. I watched the swirling branches of purple slide away from my ever greying hair. I closed my eyes softly and shook my head from side to side.  
  
I opened my eyes.  
  
Down in the distance, something was submerging towards me. Fast. I left my head dipped in the water and decided to see what it was. I didn't realise how dark the water was and all of a sudden the object was directly infront of me.  
  
A hand grabbed hold of my collar, threatening to drag me into the well. I grasped the hand, trying to pry the fingers from my collar.  
  
Then a head formed.. This was no object, it was a corpse.  
  
I looked at the head.  
  
It was Revan's head.  
  
I screamed.  
  
I was suddenly pulled up from the well and I looked at Maria "I.. I.." Was all I could stammer.  
  
"Bah.. Weak. What happened?" She asked me. I just stood there, stunned, I kept shaking my head in disbelief.  
  
"I saw a corpse!" I exclaimed to Maria. I watched as she dipped her head in the water to see what I was talking about and she promptly ascended her head again and turned towards me.  
  
"You're talking crap, their's nothing down there, Jaro." Maria sighed. "NOW look. All my hair is wet." She said. I could have sworn she growled but ignored it. "Well, lets get to Parda's Palace." Maria added.  
  
Still shook up from what just happened. I followed Maria to Parda's Palace...  
  
***  
  
"I have a question." I stated to Maria, turning to face her under the dual stars that Tatooine orbited. Maria sighed.  
  
"Shoot." She said back as she carried on walking.  
  
"Your fighting and skill is incredible. I watched how you fought back on Manaan, I've seen impressive fighting before and you match up to it, but, how come you get the look of fear in your eyes during your fights?" I asked her. Maria looked away from me and carried on walking before laughing harshly.  
  
"You're very perceptive, too perceptive. What are you hiding, Jaro?" Maria asked in return.  
  
"Lifes mysteries, battle scars, the usual stuff that grizzled fourty one year olds hide." I replied, running my hand through my hair.  
  
"Fine.. When I fight, I fear. I do not fear death, I fear life itself and the atrocities it brings." Maria said to me, I watched her keenly as her shoulders slumped and she sighed. "Death can never be feared. Once you are dead, their is no one you can hurt but while you are alive you can hurt and you will get hurt. It isn't that I fear hurting my enemies or I fear physical hurt from them. I just fear life, the wrongs it brings, the destructiveness that almost always ensues." Maria took another sad sigh. At least I was getting to know her a bit better now.  
  
"It's not that I haven't been on the side of destroying life, I still am. Life is just.. Misunderstood. And that's my wisdom for today." Maria said to me, rubbing her arms. It was probably some kind of nervous reaction to finally being open for once. *If* you could call *that* being open. It sounded like some kind of Mandalorian battle cry.  
  
"Confusing, almost. But.. If I'm ever approached by anyone needing a Scholar in the arts of brutal philosophy, I'll know where to send them." I replied to Maria, chuckling. Maria chuckled back, at least she was a little loosened up than what she used to be. Parda's Palace was much closer now and our little chat would soon end.  
  
"You're very secretive. So.. What's your philosophy?" Maria asked me, at least their was conversation now instead of ignorant threats. The question made me laugh and I looked away from Maria before deciding on how to answer it.  
  
"Fear death, not life. Death brings the living pain." I replied to her question. Maria nodded and pulled a questionable smirk.  
  
"Not bad, but I think I like to live on the dangerous and confusing side." She stated. Parda's Palace was ever closer now and I watched as Maria stretched and yawned. "What's your aim in life then?" She asked me. Women.. Always questioning a Man's motives.  
  
"My aim in life is to wait." I stated.  
  
"Wait for what?" She asked me, I sighed and rubbed my chin.  
  
"For a beautiful woman." I replied, taking the honest route with Maria.  
  
"Fourty one and you're still waiting, that baffles me." Maria replied, raising an eyebrow at me. "I would have thought you'd be married by now." She added.  
  
"I was. A long, long time ago, kiddo. It's.. Really not something I want to talk about, so can we please carry on?" I told Maria. She frowned at me and nodded in my direction.  
  
"I am thirty one, Jaro. I am no child." Maria told me. I raised my eyebrow, somehow, I didn't believe that.  
  
"You look five years younger at the most." I stated to her. I realised it was a compliment, but it was more me spouting my suspicions off.  
  
"No need to compliment me. I already know how wonderful I am." She replied to me, cockily. I began to laugh.  
  
"My oh my.. You have some guts sister. If you must really know, it wasn't a compliment. I just don't trust you." I told Maria, heatedly. I watched as a sudden blush crept up her cheeks, flustered by the fact that I wasn't complimenting her.  
  
"Well, for retracting your compliment I should really kill you.. But since Parda will make a good job of that himself, I'd rather sit down and watch. Besides, your blood isn't worth getting my hands dirty on." Maria said, seething at my brutal honesty.  
  
"Hmph.. Back to threats again. What is it sister, you can't take the truth?" I asked Maria. Maria stopped and glared at me. I knew this was going to be one of those Carth-gets-a-slap moments but she was promptly disturbed by a gurgled scream coming from the direction of Parda's Palace. Suddenly, Maria and I exchanged a worried glance as we changed our pace from a soft, gentle stroll to a frantic dash. 


	31. Shrouded mysteries

A Mercenary's Tale - Chapter Five  
  
Shrouded Mysteries  
  
Maria and I busted into the main room of the Palace.  
  
What horror.  
  
Dead bodies of many fallen mercenaries littered the floor, they'd been brutally slaughtered. Their was absolutely no mercy shown for these mercenaries and it didn't even seem like they managed to put up much of a fight.  
  
I took a glance over at Maria and brushed my hand over my eyes, holding my hand over my mouth.  
  
I'd seen a sight similar to this.  
  
Telos.  
  
My eyes welled up with tears but I knew this wasn't the time to let them fall.  
  
I crouched down by one of the body's, rolling over the limp form of a young man. I examined the wound that was slashed across his chest and grimaced. His body had been struck by a lightsabre, no doubt about it. The wound simmered and sizzled as the searing slash gave off a smell of burning flesh. His eyes were wide open, staring in fear. This mercenary obviously didn't pass on peacefully. I rolled his body back into its original position, may the force rest his soul.  
  
I looked up to my right and watched as Maria examined a scorching mark on the wall. "Sith" I muttered to her. Maria nodded. What did the Sith want with this mercenaries outpost though?  
  
"It looks like they were pretty desperate for something to send a Dark Jedi, though." Maria muttered in return, fascinated at the lightsabre markings.  
  
"This place is quiet.. Too quiet." I said, walking over towards Maria. I gazed at the lightsabre markings on the wall and took a moment to gaze at Maria. I shook my head at her, this was a terrible scene but it didn't seem to affect Maria too much.  
  
"Ugh... argh.. H-.. Help..." A moan came from the room.  
  
I dashed towards the source of the broken voice and crouched down beside the dying mercenary. Maria followed, staring at the man. I looked into his eyes, they were full of fear, whatever happened here wasn't just any ordinary Sith-pig devestation. This was a well thought out plan. The mercenary coughed and spluttered before speaking "The Sith... C-.. Came." He managed to mutter. Maria's eyes widened.  
  
"What did they want? What did they do?" Maria asked.  
  
"They took.. Took the P- Parysidian... Killed... Parda.." The mercenary muttered, groaning in pain as he let out another cough and splutter. "They.. Came with a dark one.. Be careful... Maria.. Kill the.. The.. Bastards.." The mercenary muttered, coming closer to his destiny.  
  
"Where did they go?" Maria asked him.  
  
"K.. Korr.. Korriban..." The mercenary said in almost a whisper as he passed away before us.  
  
Maria stood up and glanced at me "We have to go to Korriban." She said to me.  
  
"Ohhhh nooo sister-" I began to say with a chuckle, I was promptly interrupted by a new voice in the room.  
  
"More mercenaries, eh? Kill them!" I heard a Sith officer say. I watched as the Sith Officer left with a Dark Jedi. Three other Sith Officers entered the room, armed with vibroblades. Maria took a quick glance at me.  
  
"You any good with a vibroblade, Jaro?" Maria asked. I opened my mouth to say something but it was too late, Maria threw one of her blades at me, I wielded it and decided to fight.  
  
I watched as Maria dashed up to the second floor balcony, taking on yet again two people at a time. I was left with one officer and began dueling with him. My slashes came in flurries rather than any really tactics. I was never one for wielding a blade, but I could hold my own well enough. My blade kept rattling against the officers blade, sparks flying through the air with ferocity. I went on the offensive and lunged forward, plunging my blade towards the officer only to have my blow parried.  
  
I took a step back, dodging his counter attack, his blade missing my shoulder by mere inches. I saw an opening and went for it. Direct hit. I watched as the Sith Officer grabbed his throat, trying to stem the bleeding. He promptly gurgled to death on his own blood as he fell to the floor. I raised my head as I saw Maria precariously walking along the balcony rail, ducking and dodging as the Sith Officer rained flurries down upon her.  
  
I looked for the other officer and it was apparent that Maria dealt with him rather quickly. I watched as Maria parried the attackers blows with such an ease, it was almost spooky. And then.. It happened.  
  
Maria lost her balance and fell from the balcony onto the ground. I could almost feel her pain as she hit the ground with a thud, I raised my blade and decided that it would be wise if I protected her recovering self from any further attacks. "Not so nimble are ya anymore, girl." I heard her whisper to herself as she whipped herself up onto her feet, ready to fight the officer again. Maria ran up the stairs back to the balcony area and I followed suit.  
  
However, I didn't need to follow suit. This time Maria easily overpowered the Officer, killing him brutally. She knelt down by his corpse, wiping her blade clean on his own uniform. "Off we go to Korriban." She said, wincing a little from her fall.  
  
"Are you ok Maria? And no.. We're not going to get involved." I said to her, turning away.  
  
"I'm fine. And listen here you.. You're ALREADY involved, their's no backing out now." Maria said angrily at me, rubbing her back.  
  
"I can do what I want, when I want." I replied to her.  
  
"Fine. I don't need you, Jaro." She said in response, I turned and shrugged at her before walking away.  
  
"You think you're one bad ass woman and to an extent you're right. Just don't call me when you're getting force choked, sister." I said, trotting down the stairs leaving her vibroblade behind. I heard the vibroblade being picked up and footsteps following me down the stairs.  
  
"I said fine. I don't need you!" Maria exclaimed. I carried on walking towards the door. "You freaking pig! Get back here.. Just because you're a COWARD!!" She yelled at me. I turned around and saw Maria's fist clenched up into a ball, trembling in pure anger. Calling me all the words under the dual stars was one thing, but calling me a *coward* was just crossing the line. Maria had to be set straight, and fast.  
  
"What the fuck did you just say?" I asked Maria, walking towards her in anger.  
  
"I said you're a COWARD. Do you need me to spell it out for you? C-O-W-A-R- D!" Maria yelled at me so loudly that the whole of Tatooine could hear it. She stood infront of me, intimidating me as she grimaced at me.  
  
"That's rich coming from the little *bitch* that got a man twice my size to try and take me down." I said through my teeth.  
  
"And look who's scared now! It certainly isn't *me*. It's *you*. What's the matter? Frightened a woman might upstage you and hurt your *manly* pride?" Maria taunted at me, mocking everything about me completely and pulling some rather funny faces to go with it.  
  
"So that's what you think it is? Ok, sister. Hand me your spare vibroblade, we'll settle this *here* and *NOW*." I yelled at her, gesturing wildly with my hands.  
  
"No. I won't-" Maria replied, I cut her off.  
  
"Aww.. Come on now sister!" I said mockingly. "First you say you're going to upstage me on Korriban, now you're too frightened to fight a man with more combat experience than you'll *ever* have!" I added, laughing at her. Maria just laughed in reply.  
  
"Years of combat experience? Ooh. If only you knew more about Maria Mortis. You'd bow before me and quiver in your boots!" Maria exclaimed. I laughed at her.  
  
"I wouldn't do that, not if you paid me *all* the credits in the galaxy. Face it, sister. You're scared that a man like me would defeat you!" I exclaimed in reply.  
  
"No you wouldn't. You're still not going to fight me, Jaro." She said to me. I just smiled at her. What possessed me to do what I was going to do next I still don't understand. Maybe I wanted her to shut up and I knew this would do just the trick, regardless of my anger, regardless of hers. I also knew that I'd have to give into her demands if I was going to get away with it. It still doesn't explain what possessed me though.  
  
"Fine. I guess I'll just have to defeat you in another sense of the word." I said to her. I grasped her by the shoulders, hard and lifted her towards my head kissing her fiercely on the lips. I pressed my lips against hers for as long as was humanely possible, feeling only a small bit of resistance. I let my lips linger on her lips, tasting her and letting her taste me, stopping once I was satisfied.  
  
"You win. I lose." I said pointing at her. "Lets go to Korriban.. Oh.. And that kiss makes us even, sister." I said, making up any excuse for my actions. Maria was suddenly silent. I knew that she was most likely seething in some kind of indescribable anger over what I had just done, but at least it kept her quiet. Kissing an evil, heartless woman always seemed to work when they were on a rampage. Of course, we still loathed each other...  
  
------------  
  
Thanks vivid scripts and Shadow 39! You're my two loyal reviewers.. lol :P Now if only more people would review! Yeah, I know.. Maybe I'm greedy.. By the way V.S. when are you going to write your final chapter to your story? (. 


	32. Interlude

A Mercenary's Tale - Chapter Six  
  
Interlude  
  
I stretched as I sat down in the pilots seat and plot a course to Korriban. It wasn't soon before I was joined by Rivu and she sat down in the co- pilots seat, regarding me quizically. I turned towards her and raised an eyebrow in question for her questionable look at me. "Sheesh. Whats gotten into you and Maria since Tatooine?" Rivu asked me, I simply shrugged at her. Rivu had no reason to know of my squabble with Maria nor did she need to know about that force forsaken kiss. I shoved the Freedom's Fate into hyperspace and rested my hands behind my head. "So that's it? Normally she'd be up here.." Rivu said to me.  
  
I turned towards Rivu and rolled my eyes at her. I cleared my throat. "Why, what is she doing?" I asked her.  
  
"She's waving her blades around in some frenzy down in the hold.. Practicin' I guess." She replied, with her own shrug of her shoulders. I stared infront of me, watching the streams of light pass the Freedom's Fate. We were due in Korriban space in ten hours or so and I knew that this was going to be a terribly tense ten hours. "What have you done to her Jaro?" Rivu asked in a surprised and angered tone.  
  
I turned towards her again, laughing this time. "Nothing good old Rancor teeth can't handle, sister." I replied. I reached for my cigarra's and lit one, raising it to my mouth and giving it a few satisfied puffs. It puzzled me actually, I figured that Maria would be able to handle a good old smooch on the lips, but obviously not. Then I pondered something else, maybe Maria letting off steam in the hold was better than letting her steam off on me.  
  
"Seriously brother.." Rivu replied shooting me a desperate look.  
  
"Okay.. Okay already.. Damn you women!" I exclaimed, as I sighed, puffing on my cigarra again. "As you know the story already.. We stumbled on something.. We'd rather not have stumbled upon. Then this argument brewed.. And I just wanted her to shut up!" I exclaimed, shouting rather loudly. I suddenly hoped Rancor-Maria didn't hear what I just said, their was no telling what part of my anatomy may be threatened next and I wasn't going to find out either.  
  
I watched as Rivu raised a careful eyebrow "So you had a physical fight?" She asked. I turned and looked at her, shaking my head in disbelief.  
  
"Of course not! Unless.. Well.. In *her* eyes we probably had a physical fight" I muttered to Rivu, keeping a close eye over my shoulder to make sure Maria was not sneaking up on us. "I can tell you that I certainly didn't enjoy it either!" I exclaimed loudly again.  
  
"Oh?" Rivu asked inquisitively.  
  
"Yeah.. It was bloody awful!" I said to her, taking a deep breath. "I hated it as much as she did, sister. BOY let me tell you, I would have loved nothing better but to leave her stranded under those bloody twin stars! No, no, no! I would have preferred it if *I* dehydrated to death under those stars. That would be much better than what occured!" I yelled excitedly.  
  
"Really, eh?" Rivu asked, letting me rant on.  
  
"Yes, of course it was.. I still hate her, she still hates me. I just wish it never bloody happened." I muttered to Rivu.  
  
"Why?" Rivu enquired, raising a curious eyebrow in my direction.  
  
"It's obvious, isn't it? Maria is a Rancor and I'm never doing that, *ever* again, sister." I said desperately to Rivu.  
  
"Doing what?" Rivu asked, with a huge grin forming on her face. I suddenly realised I ranted about the kiss without even mentioning it happened. I felt my face turn a bright shade of red, I knew I cared about the kiss a lot more than I was letting on.  
  
"I.. Um.. I.." I stuttered, blushing even more. Rivu's eyes widened, urging me to go on but the words would not form. "I.. Heh.. I kissed her." I stated, my blush ever increasing.  
  
"I KNEW IT!" Rivu exclaimed. I jumped out my seat.  
  
"Quiet! It wasn't like that!" I exclaimed in response. "She just wouldn't shut up!" I exclaimed again.  
  
"Hah.. Jaro Kep has the hots for Maria Mortis. I love it, well I'm off bro.. Gonna catch some snooze!" Rivu rushed off, not even giving me a chance to reply. I heard her stop and say "Hey Maria!" before she carried on walking again. I knew that Maria was coming to talk to me.  
  
Maria entered the cockpit, closing the door behind her. I could hear her footsteps as she examined the panels directly behind me. I yawned softly to myself and I heard Maria sigh. "What's up?" I asked her.  
  
"I know how you feel, with tiredness and all." She stated to me. I went to stand up from my seat and felt Maria's small hand push down on my shoulder to keep me there. I looked up at her and raised my eyebrow.  
  
"Oh.. I don't like the looks of this, you're going to kill me, aren't you Maria?" I muttered to her, I really hoped she would not pull any crap with me.  
  
"Yeah old guy.. I'm gonna kill you." Maria replied. I just knew she was going to pull some kind of crap on me, my eyebrows now turned into a frown.  
  
I parted my lips to speak but Maria moved her finger towards me, pressing it against my parted mouth. Suddenly I was confused, very confused. I felt her finger move from my lips to trace the line of my jaw and cheeks. I closed my eyes from the feeling of Maria's touch, it was a long time since I'd been touched like that by a woman. I was more than enjoying it but it still confused the life out of me. "Maria, you have some sweet idea of killing me." I muttered softly to her.  
  
Maria slid down onto my lap and straddled me. Suddenly my pulse was racing and my heart was pounding, maybe Maria wasn't so bad after all. I felt her hands all over my torso, caressing my chest through my shirt and my mind could think of nothing but her. Maria Mortis was wicked, which in turn led me to think about Revan. As soon as Revan entered my mind, I knew that what I was letting Maria do to me right now was a complete mistake and it had to be stopped no matter how much I was enjoying the attention.  
  
"Maria.. I.. I think this is a huge mis-" I stuttered but was stopped as I was met by Maria's lips. Maria kissed me with passion and hunger. The shock of feeling her lips on mine stopped me from reacting in any other way but surprise. I tried to reason to myself that I wouldn't let such an attractive woman win me over but as soon as I felt her hands bury themselves in my hair I stopped resisting passion. I moved my hands to her hair and kissed her fiercely but passionately.  
  
Our lips parted to meet each others tongues awaiting a competitive duel. I let Maria dictate the pace but it soon became apparent that the only pace we were going to have was a fast one. My mind began to wander to the kisses I've had in the past. I thought of Morgana, but her kisses were too sweet to match up to this one. I thought of Bastila, but her kisses were far too tentative. Then I thought of Revan and I realised that Maria was as good of a kisser as Revan was.  
  
She pulled away from me teasingly and gazed at me. Maria had a victorious smile plastered all over her face and all I could do was smile back at her. Her hands went to my shirt and I gladly let her remove it from my body. Maria shot me a glance, moving her hands to my chest as she began caressing. All I could do was let out a sigh in contentment and her reaction was to further teasing me by bringing me into another passionate kiss. I gladly responded to her kiss again, sighing softly into her mouth this time.  
  
I reached for her shirt and tried to tug it off her. I heard a little shriek in my mouth as she pulled my hands away from her shirt and winked at me. I grinned at her. "Maria, you're gonna kill me if you don't-" I was interrupted again as I was brought down into another heated kiss. I closed my eyes and groaned in passion as yet again I went towards Maria's shirt. Again my hands were pushed away and I gazed at her, confused by her actions.  
  
"You're a bad man, Jaro." Maria muttered as she got up from my seat.  
  
"Wait a minute, I thought we were-" I was interrupted yet again.  
  
"You thought wrong." Maria answered, she shot me a gaze of disgust. "That was what you get for calling me Rancor teeth." She added before turning and walking out the cockpit.  
  
I wanted to scream. Maria Mortis had successfully pulled some crap on me again and I couldn't stop it.  
  
I really hate that woman.. 


	33. How I murdered Rancor Maria

A Mercenary's Tale - Chapter Seven  
  
How I murdered Rancor Maria..  
  
I felt myself being pushed into the arena. I landed face first on the dirty, muddy ground and I dreaded pulling myself up to face my opponent. All around the arena pit I could hear the cheers of dirty scoundrels, willing either one of us on. Of course, they did not care that someone was going to lose their life, they only cared that they won their bet. I got onto my feet and glanced at the Hutt whose fault this was. Urna the Hutt just laughed at my predicament.  
  
I entered a battle stance and readied my vibroblade, glancing at my attacker. My attacker was none other than Maria. This was a fight to the death and one of us had to die. We began fighting, our blades clanging against each other. Our minds were not in this fight, we didn't want to kill each other. It was different now, we were partners. Even though I was angered for everything she had done to me, I didn't want to kill the person who was leading me and Rivu on an adventure of a life time.  
  
So we fought that way, carefully. Maria was trying to pretend that she was intent on killing me, but truth be known, she wasn't. I tried to return my blows as vehemently as I could without making a mistake and hurting Maria. "One of us has to die, Jaro!" She exclaimed to me, just loud enough so that I would be the only person to hear.  
  
"No.. No there has to be another way." I replied in utter disbelief, swinging my sword at her. Maria caught my blow close to her neck and we were inches away from each others faces, "Look, we can make a plan.. One of us doesn't have to die, Maria." I added in sorrow and despair.  
  
"I'm sorry, there's no other way." Maria replied. I stared at her and she returned the glance. I shook my head at her, breaking my concentration which was just enough for Maria to disarm me. I fell to my knees, awaiting my death but Maria looked stunned. The Rancor obviously didn't mean to disarm me, she didn't even want to kill me. Maria's eyes widened and she shot me a desperate look, begging me to do something to stop her from having to make a final blow.  
  
I done the only thing I could.  
  
I charged Maria down and we both landed on the floor. I was on top of Maria now and managed to wrestle the vibroblade out of her hand, "For a second I thought we would both end up dead.." Maria muttered at me. I just gazed at her, my looks must have appeared torn and frightful. This was one of the most terrifying things I'd been forced to do in all my life. I tried desperately not to hurt her whilst I was wrestling with her. I dwarfed Maria in comparison to strength but she was extremely agile and I had no doubt she would be able to get out of my strong arms.  
  
"Jaro. I need you to keel over and crawl to your vibroblade while I retrieve mine." Maria whispered to me, I looked at her in surprise and felt her knee pressed against my crotch. I suddenly understood that I either acted it out, or I actually did end up in massive pain.  
  
I chose to act it out.  
  
I keeled over on the floor in pain and groaned as Maria scampered off untidily for her vibroblade. I watched as she tripped over, probably to buy me some time. I started to crawl towards my own vibroblade when my eyes caught Rivu's shocked figure up above the pit.  
  
Rivu's eyes were prickling with unshed tears. She was obviously feeling grief, watching me and Maria having to fight to the death like this. However, I didn't want Rivu to give up hope. I looked at her and put on a brave face, giving her a small wink. I retrieved my vibroblade and stood up when my eyes caught sight of *another* familiar face.  
  
Canderous.  
  
Canderous was armed to the hilt in a Mandalorian war suit apart from a helmet. He was grimacing at me in absolute disgust and when he realised that I was staring at him, he laughed. I watched him for a second or two, as he raised his heavy repeater up towards his chest and remained stony faced, ever staring at the fight. I wondered what business he had here and if I'd ever get to live to see it.  
  
I got onto my feet and watched as Maria entered a battle stance. I had no option but to return the favour and again, we charged into a fight. Our blades rained down against each others in some kind of paradoxial careful frenzy. Maria and I duelled this way for a considerable amount of time before I lost my concentration and felt her blade slice through my arm. I winced as the wound oozed blood. The situation was getting drastic and something had to be done.  
  
I switched the blade to my other hand and went on with the fight. Maria's strokes were a lot calmer now, weary of the wound she just gave me. Sparks flew from our blades as the metal smashed against each other time and again until I left myself wide open for attack, my blade held close to my torso. What happened next, would change everything, forever. Maria, darted forward only for my blade to seriously injure her.  
  
I watched as Maria stared at me in utter surprise, falling to her knees and rasping for breath. My jaw could only drop in surprise, I didn't know how I should feel, I felt my eyes well up with tears of regret and sorrow. Maria's eyes rolled to the back of her head and she crumpled up upon the muddy ground, lifelessly.  
  
Maria Mortis was dead, and I was her murderer.  
  
I fell to my knees and dropped my blade, looking at her body in disbelief..  
  
***  
  
"Well done, Jaro" Urna the Hutt informed me. I just bowed my head in disgust at what I had just done. "But I'm afraid I can't let you go since you are now my prized possession and best warrior." Urna added with a cruel laugh. I just glared at her, how dare she? How dare she lie like that and force me to kill Maria?!  
  
"You deserve to die.." I muttered to Urna vengefully.  
  
"We all have to die someday." Urna replied. "Take him back to the cells!" Urna added, ordering two Mercenary's to attach themselves to either side of my body.  
  
"I swear I'll kill you." I spat at her vengefully, resisting my assailants. "I swear I'll avenge Maria's death!" I screamed in despair.  
  
"Why when you are the one who killed her?" Urna asked. Before I could reply I was knocked out and dragged to my holding cell.  
  
***  
  
I awoke lying in my cell. I was dazed but I still remembered how much filth I was for killing Maria. I didn't even mean to do it, but it still made me a cold hearted murderer. Tears slid down my cheeks, as I remembered her falling onto her knees, her eyes begging me, asking me why I had to kill her. I curled up on the cold, damp ground of my dark cell and brought my knees up to my chest. I tensed every muscle in anger and hate for myself and wept senselessly.  
  
I never ever meant to hurt her.  
  
***  
  
Wind whistled past my ears and bathed my face softly as I opened my eyes. I was greeted by a wonderful crimson sky and I groaned softly as I sat up. I was greeted by many pairs of legs, all women's. I raised my head and squinted from the bright light shining in my eyes. I was greeted by Morgana, Revan, Bastila and Maria. Each woman's pair of eyes were focused on me and my now alert form.  
  
I just stared at each and every one of them, not knowing what to do and then Morgana spoke, "When you are ready, come to speak to us." I looked at them all puzzledly as they took a final look at me and walked off in different directions. I felt grass under my palms and looked at the ground. The grass was green and fertile and to say the least, extremely colourful. Shades of pink and yellow jumped out and attracted my eyes, they danced under the bright light that bathed this mysterious place.  
  
I gazed at my surroundings and took note of where all the women had gone. Morgana was sitting on the grass, running her fingers through the sharp, thin blades. I turned my head slightly to the right and saw Revan, sitting on a wooden bench. She was staring into space somewhat sadly. I turned my head even further to the right and saw a giant tree of some description. The leaves that hung from the thick twigs and bark were of a golden and silver colour, something magnificent to look upon. On either side of the three was Bastila and Maria. Bastila had her arms folded, looking as prideful as ever. Maria was playing with the grass, innocently, but I knew that she was a vicious woman inside.  
  
I raised myself to my feet and decided it would be best if I talked to each woman in chronological order. I wanted to get the hardest two out of the way anyway. I walked towards Morgana, who didn't seem to show her awareness of me approaching. I sat down beside her, "What am I?" I asked her.  
  
"You are Carth Onasi, my first and only husband, the father of Dustil Onasi." Morgana replied, looking away from my face.  
  
"Where did I go wrong?" I asked Morgana.  
  
"You didn't go wrong, you never failed. I told you this before, what's so hard to believe?" She replied to me, rhetorically.  
  
I stared at her and realised I had no idea what to say. I promptly left Morgana to her own devices and strolled towards Revan. I sat on the bench next to her, "Who am I?" I asked. Revan stayed quiet, her eyes never faltering on whatever she was focusing on in the distance. I waved my hand past her eyes a few times until I broke her concentration. She turned to look at me, a questionable look in her eyes. "Who am I?" I asked her again.  
  
"A non-entity in my life." She replied. I watched as Revan got up and walked away, disappearing mysteriously in the distance.  
  
I got to my feet again and walked towards Bastila. "Who am I?" I asked her. Bastila gave me a cocky look before answering.  
  
"You are Carth Onasi. The imbecile that was an Admiral aboard Revan's flagship." Bastila stated to me in arrogance. I stared at her aloof figure and decided that Bastila was not the person I was looking for and she was certainly not going to give me the answers I desired.  
  
I walked around the other side of the tree, resting my palm on the rough bark. Maria was sitting there, toying with the grass. "Maria, who am I?" I asked her. The shock of my voice broke Maria's concentration and she raised her head to stare at me.  
  
"You are Jaro Kep, we were partners.. Sort of." She replied to me. I nodded in her direction before taking a deep breath.  
  
"I failed you." I stated to her.  
  
"You never failed me.. I failed myself." She muttered in response.  
  
***  
  
I woke up to the sound of nothing but the emptiness of my soul and the damp of the cold floor. I wanted to yawn, sigh, do anything that would take my mind from everything, from the weird dream I just had. In the end, everything was null, it was nothing, nothing mattered. Nothing mattered to me when all I could do was mess up, why should it? At that moment, I wished for nothing more than to be able to end my life, or for Revan to come, to come and take me away and tell me she loves me.  
  
Tell me she'll never leave me.  
  
But I doubted then, doubted it would ever happen. The only thing I could think of was Maria, and her ever untimely death. All I could wonder and ponder about was the way my vibroblade sliced through her petite figure, ending her young life.  
  
Or did it?  
  
I tried to look back and remember all the events. It seemed like an eternity ago since she fell to the ground, her eyes fixed on mine. Asking me, begging me why. It seemed like an eternity ago that I curled up on the ground like a mere foetus and cried myself to sleep.  
  
I tried to think harder, let my mind wander even more. I knew the answer was there, somewhere. Then I saw it, did I really imagine it? Was it really a figment of my delusional and paranoid imagination?  
  
No.  
  
Was it a figment of my hopeful imagination?  
  
I could only but hope so.  
  
I looked back, concentrating hard on the battle stance we were in just before I struck her down. My vibroblade was positioned closely to my body, away from Maria. With Maria's skill, I doubt she would walk into my blade. No.  
  
No, wait! She *did* walk into my blade!  
  
It's the only explanation!  
  
But why did she throw herself onto my blade?  
  
To my knowledge, she had no reason to be sad enough to want to commit suicide.  
  
But on the outside, do I look like I have a reason to be sad? Do I look like I have a reason to be suicidal? No. I don't believe I do, but it doesn't stop me from thinking those thoughts for every passing moment, every passing *breath* I *breathe* without Revan!  
  
I wouldn't let it beat me though.  
  
I had to live on, I had to pass this test.  
  
I have wronged so many people, done so many things I hate and wished I'd never done. This almost topped it all, even if Maria was only doing it to end her own life and wished no blame on me, it was still my fault.  
  
It was always my fault.  
  
If I had talked to her, if I had made her see that it wasn't the easiest answer. If she would just realise that she was stronger than that. Then everything would be alright. But what would she end up as?  
  
Did she want to end up as a bum for a year? Living on nothing but alcohol and cigarra's?  
  
I highly doubt that Maria would ever stoop so low.  
  
Only I, Carth Onasi, can ever afford to be that weak.  
  
I only know that Revan drives me and I only know that everyone tries to stop me.  
  
Not this time..  
  
Just.. Not this time..  
  
***  
  
"We're here." Maria informed me as Freedom's Fate docked at Korriban. I nodded softly in her general direction, refusing to speak to her for the incident that happened but a mere few hours ago. "We better get ready, Jaro" She added. I decided to turn my head to face her and shot her a weary glare, warning her that she better stay out of my way if she valued her sanity. "We really need to-" Maria carried on saying. However, the only thing I did was stand and walk out of the cockpit, ready to see Rivu.  
  
I searched all over for Rivu, but she was nowhere to be found, obviously she had took off. I reasoned to myself that maybe she had some smuggler's business to do. I only hoped that she would understand that what we were doing here was a lot more important than smuggling any kind of spice into any star system. I also tried to reason, and hope with myself that this would only be a short call, and not some kind of long, dreaded adventure. However, as soon as that thought entered my mind, I realised that this adventure may have it's benefits.  
  
Was Revan dead?  
  
Or was she alive?  
  
Maybe this mission would help me; aid me in finding out the truth.  
  
Either that, or this mission would help me in passing the time.  
  
Providing a Sith didn't rip my head off first.  
  
***  
  
A few uncomfortable hours passed before Rivu returned. I was genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. I knew that Rivu could look after herself, but I also knew that Korriban was by no means a planet for a young Twi'lek to wander on. Rivu could have been sliced or diced by any Sith that was having a particularly bad day, Sith didn't stop to think that they would be taking an innocent life like that. Sith just revelled in the power, the knowing that what they were doing was wrong and hurting everyone. Sometimes, it made me wonder if the Sith led unhappy lives themselves. Why would they want everyone to hurt? Perhaps they were hurt themselves. Sometimes when I look back at my career as an Admiral within in the Sith fleet, I realised that I made so many decisions that were a reaction due to *my* pain. I didn't want to stop until my pain was quenched, I wanted someone to understand how I felt and the only way to achieve that was to take someone's life.  
  
The uncomfortable hours that passed with Maria, were, well, uncomfortable. The incident that happened between us had really added a degree of tension to our "relationship" and I wasn't exactly fond of her at the moment. I couldn't believe her audacity and her sheer magnitude of revenge that she felt the need to do that to me. I tried to tell myself that the reason she done it was because of the kiss, not because of what I called her. That being said and done, I doubted Maria was fond of me either, although she tried her best during the few uncomfortable hours to make conversation with me.  
  
But no, I wouldn't let myself be fooled by her charade.  
  
She wasn't being nice, she simply wanted to annoy me; Throw me into a speeder of anger and turn my eyes into parallel, burning black fires of hatred.  
  
My toleration was coming to the end of its tether and I was glad that Rivu was back. At any moment I was expecting myself to go insane on Maria and I really had no idea what or how I was going to achieve it. I decided to snap myself out of my train of thought, I was worried about Rivu and it was time to berate her for running away like that. "Rivu, what in the Force's name do you think you were doing by running away like that? You know what the Sith are like!" I exclaimed, furious at Rivu.  
  
"Jaro! I'm not a kid, I'm not even a teenager in fact! I'm a grown woman, or did you just casually overlook that part?" Rivu asked mockingly.  
  
"That's not the point, we could have lost you. Why couldn't you tell us where you were going? The Sith may know we are here, and they won't take kindly to three strangers wanting to snoop in there business. Trust me on this one, sister." I replied.  
  
"Well, BROTHER, I decided to get a head start and leave you two love birds to your chatting, ya know? And you won't believe-" Rivu replied. I wasn't going to take that comment lying down though. Rivu had to be put straight that I wanted nothing more to do with Maria and after this job, I was out of here.  
  
"Listen kid. We are *not* love birds." I answered her, hearing Maria's faint chuckle in the background. She was enjoying this and I really wish I had some kind of retort in the sense of my own enjoyment.  
  
"Whatever. You know what, Jaro? You need to stop acting so paranoid. I bet the Sith don't even know the reason why we are here." Rivu said to me, angered by my statements. I walked closer to her and pointed outside the Freedom's Fate.  
  
"You really think that? The Sith are many things, but they are certainly not stupid!" I exclaimed, now gesturing wildly at the general direction of the exit. I looked on as Maria watched me and Rivu futilely share the argument between each other.  
  
"What *ever* brother. I never said they were. What the hell do you think I am? Your daughter? Loosen up will ya!" Rivu exclaimed, furrowing her brow and trying her very best to dig her words into me. The trouble was, she more than succeeded.  
  
I stepped back very slowly from Rivu, my tense and angry forehead easing from it's previous vehement position. I looked at Rivu in amazement and I realised why. Her statements were so truthful, maybe I had been in some kind of denial, but I was treating her like she was my daughter. I realised that maybe I was making up for lost time. And I also remembered someone that I felt I let down.  
  
Mission Vao.  
  
The sweet little blue Twi'lek I met back on Taris. At that moment in time, staring at Rivu, I saw nothing but Mission and I realised that maybe I was given another chance. A chance to put things right. The chance I had with Mission, but never took.  
  
I always tried not to blame myself for Mission's untimely death. I wish when I saw the odds were completely against us, that I just threw her over my shoulder and ran. But I ran in fear. I remembered it then. Just like it was yesterday. I remember the adrenaline that pumped in my veins wildly as I ordered Mission to run, refusing to believe that she would be too naive to do anything else. But what a fool I was. I should have known that at Mission's "immature" age, that she would try and do anything to break Revan free of the dark side.  
  
And that's why I blame myself. Like everything else I've blamed myself for.  
  
As I ran, I remember hearing Zaalbar's howl of defiance.  
  
And then...  
  
I heard Ordo's repeater. I stopped running and closed my eyes, cringing as the sadness overwhelmed me.  
  
I knew Mission Vao was no more.  
  
"Jaro, you look like you've seen a ghost." Maria said to me, her voice breaking my concentration and memory of Mission. My eyes darted back to Rivu and I realised that my eyes had welled up with tears, the memory of Mission Vao's death was not something I wished to relive. Maria's eyes darted between the exchange me and Rivu seemed to have with each other before continuing to speak. "I think Rivu wanted to tell you something, Jaro. I think it would be wise if we heard her out, don't you?" She added, rhetorically.  
  
"Oh ya. Well I talked to some of associates on this planet.. Apparently, there's some kind of Sith parade due.. Now, I know what you're thinking, a Sith parade? On this barren place? But better believe it, there's going to be one in two days." Rivu informed us. This interested me a lot, Sith were known for a lot of things, but parades? My paranoid senses told me that something wasn't right here, and that even if we got to the bottom of it on Korriban, it simply wouldn't end there.  
  
"Who's invited?" I asked, clearing my shocked throat in between words. The two women regarded me quizzically.  
  
"The planet, if that makes sense. I don't really know what the march is for. That kind of information is a closely guarded secret of the Sith, but I'm guessing we'll find out in two days." Rivu replied, shrugging her shoulders at me.  
  
"It's never that simple, sister. I wish it was, but it really isn't." I said to Rivu. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair trying to thinking of a suitable plan.  
  
"I know what you're thinking though, but don't worry. It's taken care of, sort of. See? I told you I was great!" Rivu exclaimed.  
  
"I don't like the "sort of" part, can you please elaborate?" I asked Rivu nicely.  
  
"Urna the Hutt informed me that she has a couple of Sith uniforms that you could use. You could join the march-" Rivu replied, however, I promptly interrupted her.  
  
"No, sister. You don't get something for nothing." I said, sighing slightly.  
  
"She owes me, Jaro. I figured this would be the way she could pay me back. Just make sure you agree to her hospitality, alright? If you do all that, you'll be just fine." Rivu informed me. I nodded in her direction even though my brain was telling me that it still didn't like the sound of this.  
  
But what choice did we have? We'd have to play along to figure out the mystery of Parda's death and the Parysidian's disappearance some how.  
  
"Suit up, Jaro. We're goin' walkies." Maria said to me as she headed for the exit of the Freedom's Fate.  
  
***  
  
I sighed as we entered Urna's humble abode. To say that it was a huge place was almost the understatement of the year. Parda's Palace didn't seem to have an inch on Urna's. "What are you doing here, Maria Mortis?" Urna asked condemningly to her. Maria was about to open her mouth when I decided I would have a little bit of my own fun with this conversation, lets say, my own personal revenge for leaving me in that lurch a few hours back.  
  
"She's with me. I am her owner and she is my slave." I replied, grinning sheepishly. Out the corner of my eye I examined Maria changing several shades of red. I doubted this was out of embarrassment but out of being livid. My reply earned a laugh from Urna, obviously she found the fact that a man had been able to tame Maria rather amusing, fact or fiction.  
  
"To think that someone has been able to tame Maria Mortis and turn her into his love slave, ah, I must know your name human." Urna replied, seemingly chuckling every so often during her elaborate sentence.  
  
"My name is Jaro Kep. I have undeniable charm and Maria was but another woman to fall for it and become my slave" I replied, sporting a huge grin. I turned to Maria and decided to do something sleazy. I licked Maria's cheek, slowly. I felt Maria tense in anger as she felt my tongue travel up her flustered flesh and I knew that I would be a dead man for this episode. At least I would die with my revenge sated. In the end, Maria's head flinched away from mine and I let off a small chuckle in victory.  
  
"Very nice. But I have to ask you about your business here." Urna muttered, no doubt interested by the show put on by me and Maria. "But I seriously cannot believe that someone has finally turned the infamous Maria Mortis into a mere slave. Wait until I inform the others about this." Urna the Hutt added. I watched as Maria gave me another glare, the glare that obviously wanted to kill me.  
  
"One of our partners, Rivu, informed us that you owe her big time. She wants you to repay her by letting us borrow some Sith Uniforms for the Sith parade in a couple of days." I replied to Urna cautiously.  
  
"I see. Well, it is true that I owe the Twi'lek. I'll see what I can do, for now, I hope you enjoy my hospitality." Urna the Hutt said to me, I watched as she motioned for a Twi'lek slave to come near her. "You. Send them both to a hospitality suite, they seem like they need some time alone." Urna said with a slight chuckle.  
  
"And what about Rivu?" I asked, before being ushered away by the Twi'lek slave.  
  
"She will be coming back later and shall join you, for now, please relax." Urna the Hutt told us as the Twi'lek led us off to our hospitality suite.  
  
***  
  
"I hope you enjoy your room and your stay." The Twi'lek slave said to us, bowing in our direction.  
  
"Wait, what about Maria's room?" I asked her.  
  
"This *is* her room, sir." The slave replied. I raised an eyebrow in her direction and turned my head to see Maria's even angrier expression. The slave promptly left. My head scanned around the room cautiously as it revealed a double bed in the centre. I suddenly gulped, realising that Maria was going to have my head for this, and too right I was.  
  
I felt a hand gripped tightly on my collar and Maria's fist near to my face. I turned to her, watching her grit her teeth in sheer anger. "And just *WHAT* did you think you were saying?" She asked me.  
  
"I.. Uh.. I.." Was all I could manage to stutter, my face turning several shades of red in surprise and embarrassment.  
  
"You will pay for this, Jaro! I swear you will, if it's the last thing that I *do*." Maria yelled at me, her grip tightening on my collar.  
  
"Uh, sweetie, don't shout too loud or you'll break our cover." I replied in a mere whisper. I added a nervous chuckle on the end, just for effect.  
  
"Break our cover?! I'll break your *FACE* if you don't shut up!" She exclaimed. Her hand dropped from my collar as she paced back and forth inside the room, muttering to herself. I opened my mouth to speak- "Don't you *DARE*, Jaro. Just don't you *dare*!" Maria exclaimed again, pacing furiously back and forth. "And to think.. To think I have to sleep in the same bed as you, I can't even *stand* to be around you!" She added.  
  
"Surely it isn't that bad my scrumptious slave." I said to her, pushing my non existent luck. To my surprise Maria only glared at me as she waltzed around the room in a fury.  
  
***  
  
A few hours had passed as I took advantage of the many luxuries of Urna's hospitality suite. However, and inevitably also, I was disturbed. Rivu strode into my room, her hands behind her back and looking in my direction proudly. "So I see you finally managed to get Maria, eh brother?" She asked me. I just looked up at her, chuckling a mocking laugh in return. "It's not that bad, is it?" She added.  
  
"You try telling Maria that." I replied, sighing as I raised my hand to my hair rubbing it softly. Being alone with Rivu reminded me that I should really talk to her, about the argument and episode we had before when she mentioned me treating her like a daughter. "Rivu, we really need to talk." I said to her, waving my hand in a friendly gesture to a seat in the room that was placed opposite of me.  
  
"Oh?" She asked as she sat down opposite me. "I don't know if I like the sound of this." She added.  
  
"It's nothing but good about you, trust me." I replied, sighing as I remembered that I would have to tell her everything.  
  
"Shoot. I'll listen." Rivu said to me.  
  
"Your comment shocked me today, Rivu." I started off with, I raised my hand as I saw she was about to speak "Let me finish." I said, preventing her from speaking. I cleared my throat before continuing. "As you know, the episode with the Star Forge was a long one. I made friends aboard the Ebon Hawk, well, one in particular." I stated to Rivu, nervously moving my hand to my hair again, not quite knowing how I would manage to explain this emotionlessly.  
  
"Alright, carry on." Were Rivu's words of encouragement.  
  
"She was fourteen, a Twi'lek like you. Her name was Mission Vao and we became close friends. She had no parents as such and a lousy brother to boot. I guess you can kind of say, I became like some kind of surrogate father to her." I sighed deeply and averted my eyes to the floor in despair. "As you know at the time, I had no idea that Dustil was really alive. I was more than happy to look out for Mission and be there for her. The Ebon Hawk... Became like a family to me. My only family." I added, deeply saddened.  
  
"Wow, you got that attached?" Rivu asked. I just nodded solemnly in her direction.  
  
"I did. Especially to Mission and especially to... To Revan.." I said trailing off softly, more despair than ever in my voice and body language. "I just think it's time you should know, I've begun to trust you Rivu and that in itself is some kind of a accomplishment. I find it hard to trust, actually I find it almost impossible. But you.. You're so innocent in your almost friendly nature, regardless of your.. Affiliations. You've inspired me, you know that? You're like my family now.." I said trailing off. I wasn't great at heart felt proclamations anyway.  
  
"That's.. Shocked me to say the least too, Jaro. I want you to know that.. I'm sorry for dyeing your hair.." Rivu replied, looking down at the floor herself obviously feeling guilty.  
  
"I deserved it. I was a jerk to you when you were hung over that day, or did you just happen to forget that, sister?" I asked, plastering a brave smile on my face. Rivu's eyes met mine and she smiled back.  
  
"I didn't, but what happened to Mission? And what about Revan?" She asked inquisitively.  
  
"Ah.." I trailed off, sighing to myself. "I knew this was going to happen." I added, letting off another sigh. "Mission died. When Revan betrayed all of us I told Mission to run as the odds were against us. I ran in total fear, forgetting that Mission was just a kid and forgetting that she would try to turn Revan back from the Dark Side. Mission's death.. Was all my fault." I told Rivu, sighing again and averting my eyes back to the floor.  
  
"No, that's not true." Rivu told me. "It was Mission's choice to remain there, you done your duty as a soldier for the Republic. If I was Mission, I would have ran with you." She added.  
  
"I'm sure you're just trying to make me feel better, kid. I am no soldier, I am a monster. If I was a honourable soldier I would have threw her over my shoulder and ran off with her to safety." I replied in utter disgust for myself.  
  
"That's not true..." Rivu said to me again, disbelieving my every self pitying word. I sighed to myself and decided to humour the young Twi'lek.  
  
"Fine, you win. The point is, today, I saw Mission in you, Rivu. It's a lovely quality and I don't want you to lose it. I realise I've been treating you like you are Mission, like I can make up for lost time and somehow fight for forgiveness inside of myself by being over protective of you. But can you just understand? Can you understand my pain and realise that maybe I am being a bit paternal over you?" I asked her, almost begging her for her understanding.  
  
"I may look silly and stuff but I can understand that, Jaro.. I wouldn't mind you being my father figure.." She said to me, a look of sadness spreading across her face as a few tears trickled down her face.  
  
"Hey.. Why are you crying, sister?" I asked her, reaching across and placing a strong hand on her shoulder, not knowing how else to comfort her.  
  
"I'm crying because in a way, I guess I'm like Mission.. My mother died shortly after I was born.. I don't know.. She-.. She was greatly weakened after giving birth to me and managed to contract an illness that was incurable for her.. After she died my Father would beat me.. Eventually, I just ran away from home.. I.. I went to Coruscant.. Learnt a few things.. Got hired at Tatooine by Parda a few times..." Rivu replied to me, tears streaming down her face.  
  
"I'm really sorry Rivu.." I said to her, placing both hands on her shoulders. For a while I just stared at her, examining her face and her features. Suddenly, Rivu threw both her arms around me and buried her head in my shoulder weeping gently. My eyes widened in surprise as I slowly wrapped my arms around her, caressing her back and telling her it would be alright.  
  
"I won't let anyone harm you Rivu." I said to her softly. "I swear." My own eyes feeling a bit heavy with unshed tears.  
  
"I know." She whispered back before pulling away from the embrace. "But what about Revan?" She asked, her head tails wrapping around her defensively.  
  
"Lets just say she is a woman I adored and loved very much. Even when she went to the Dark Side.. I.. Rivu, I was guilty of following her and becoming her Admiral." I told her, Rivu just shrugged in my direction.  
  
"You're not guilty of anything in the past. The past is done with. You know what you are now? You're part of the Freedom's Fate family, or FFF for short." Rivu said excitedly, giving off a giggle. I smiled in her direction, happy that she would not hold my own blackened heart against me.  
  
***  
  
Time passed by until I was disturbed again, this time by Maria. I sat in the room, staring outside at the barren world of Korriban, I could almost say it was a romantic setting. "It has it's own beauty, don't you think?" I asked Maria, trying to break the ice from our not so successful conversation before. Maria walked over to the window and folded her arms. She looked outside at the barren land, resting her hand on her chin, stroking it softly.  
  
"I- I don't know.." Maria muttered in reply. What shocked me about her reply was firstly, she was no longer angry and secondly, she almost sounded like she had a sad tone in her voice. I tried to wonder why, but I had no answer for her sadness.  
  
"I think it's pretty beautiful personally." I replied, gazing at Maria for a second. Maria just glanced at me nervously before looking away again outside the window.  
  
"If you say so.. I'm.. Kind of indifferent to it all." She said to me. I raised an eyebrow at her and let her be, watching the star set gracefully upon the deserted planet. I examined her, keeping a keen eye on her, admiring her.  
  
"Are you sure you're alright?" I asked her, worried about her reactions and her lack of anger to me.  
  
"I'm fine." She replied to me. "I've just had a lot to think on.." Maria added.  
  
"I'll hear you out, Maria. We never talk like that." I replied, folding my arms and leaning back against my chair.  
  
"I get it. When I asked you questions about Telos you just shrugged it off!" Maria exclaimed bitterly. All I done was raise an eyebrow at her, watching her sigh in a bit of frustration. "But you want all my secrets.." She added.  
  
"Damn straight." I replied, grinning at her.  
  
"I don't know how to tell you." Maria said to me, turning to me and shooting me a far too worried look into my eyes.  
  
"Start at the beginning." I said, shrugging. "I want to know how you ended up being a bounty hunter." I added.  
  
"What is there to tell? I have skill, I got hired." Maria replied, shrugging our conversation off and walking towards the bed, sitting on it.  
  
"And you chastise me for holding back with my own secrets, sister?" I asked her, chuckling at her obvious reluctance to answer my questions.  
  
"I'm just a dull person, that's all.." Maria said, with a little sigh.  
  
"I see. Well, how about I make you a deal. I'll tell you my story and you tell me yours." I replied to her, rubbing my head.  
  
"I don't like the sounds of that." She said, rushing through her sentence.  
  
"Slow down, this is not a race. Besides, I thought you said you were dull?" I enquired, shifting around in my chair, staring at her petite back.  
  
"Which is precisely why you don't want to know my life story." Maria replied, turning her head to look me in the eyes. I stared back and gave her a little smile.  
  
"Fine. I was born on Telos, forty one years ago. I..." I sighed a little as I trailed off, placing my hands on a table in front of me, making sure my gaze rested on it and it only.  
  
"That's it?" She asked me.  
  
"No, of course not. I was born to lovely parents, I was an only child.. From a very young age I was very fond of anything mechanical. My Dad taught me pretty much everything. I guess he was intelligent although he was hardly ever around..." I said trailing off, feeling sadness inside.  
  
"Why was that?" Maria asked me, standing up and sitting on the other side of the bed so she could face me.  
  
"My father was a Jedi. Curse them arrogant fools! They always take everything away from me.." I replied, sighing as I remembered everyone they took away from me. My father.. If they never trained Revan and Malak then Morgana would still be alive.. In fact a lot of trouble would have been avoided, it's such a shame that the Force even exists.  
  
"What happened to your father?" Maria asked me, her brow furrowing in what I thought looked like concern.  
  
"One day, he just didn't come back. I suppose he was killed.. My mother was heartbroken.. But she was strong and raised me.. I was quite young at the time, about thirteen years old, I guess. I just don't remember him all too well, and it pains me, a lot." I said, bowing my head and thinking about my father.  
  
"I'm.. Sorry." Maria replied. She said it so devoid of emotion however. It was almost like she wanted to feel but felt reluctant to let herself go.  
  
"It isn't your fault." I said, shooting a sad gaze at her before returning it back down to the table in front of me and my rough, old hands. "My mother was a scientist.. From a very young age, I had an interest in star fighters and a mild obsession with exploring space. At the tender age of eighteen, I joined the Republic and became a pilot. I married a woman named Morgana and she gave birth to my son. The attack on Telos..." I trailed off, sighing deeply. I covered my eyes, I knew I was going to cry and I didn't want Maria to see it when I did. "My wife died.. And I lost my son, or so I thought.. I found out he was alive later.." I said, rushing my sentence as tears rolled down my cheeks.  
  
"I'm.. So sorry.." Maria said to me. I could feel her gaze burning holes right through me, I didn't like it, but I accepted it. I wiped the tears away from my face and turned to face her.  
  
"Like I said.. It.. It isn't your fault." I said again. Maria blinked at me a few times. I watched as she stood up and placed her hand on my shoulder, gripping it firmly. I looked up at her silently, expressing my thanks before she nodded her head before me and walked towards the window again.  
  
Maria stood that way for a few hours, gazing at the barren land of Korriban.  
  
I had no desire to know her past, all I knew was that she was there.  
  
And I was here.  
  
***  
  
Night dawned upon Korriban as quickly as was needed. Maria kept her arms tightly folded against one another. I watched as they seemed to tighten around her waist in some kind of protective hold of herself, maybe she was burying something deep inside, maybe she had no way else to let it out. What did it matter? She wasn't going to tell me what burned her everyday of her life. The best thing to do would be to allow her to open up in her own time, and I knew that would come, especially with my honesty.  
  
I tried to stifle a yawn, but I let one go and smiled as Maria turned my way. "You've been watching me for the past half an hour." She muttered to me, giving me a curious look.  
  
"I have. I've just been watching your emotions and your reactions to everything. You seem to be pretty wound up inside yourself and there's nothing I can do or say to change it. I keep figuring that sooner or later, you're going to open up to me, but who knows when?" I said as I shrugged in her direction. "I've just been admiring you, I do that sometimes, just ignore it. Staring at you, examining your moves made me think and feel at ease about a lot of things." I added, yawning softly again.  
  
"Like what?" Maria asked icily.  
  
"Everything and anything in general. The conversation we just shared and the awkward silence afterwards, it kind of sucked me in like some unseen force, I don't know how I can describe it any better to you, but you, being here tonight has been a blessing for me. I've needed to talk to people lately." I told her, explaining how I felt inside.  
  
"And you couldn't share that with Rivu?" Maria asked me rather bitterly.  
  
"No, we just talked. Look, Maria, is there anything else you want to know before I go to bed? I'm rather tired." I told her, stretching this time.  
  
"I was wondering how good of a soldier you were in the past. You don't fight like an amateur but of someone with a lot of experience. That takes something, I wonder if you inherited skill of your father?" Maria enquired almost rhetorically. I just smirked at her and let off a gentle chuckle.  
  
"I can assure you, I inherited nothing force like off my father or it would have been known of by now. I spent a lot of my time around Jedi's." I replied to Maria. I watched as she nodded in my direction and I got up beginning to get undressed.  
  
"Oh.. Um.. Excuse me." Maria replied, blushing deeply as she turned around to give me some privacy.  
  
"It's ok, sister. I'm not going to go totally nude on you. Is there anything else?" I asked her, slipping out of my shirt and pants.  
  
"What tour of duty's were you on, how good were you?" Maria asked me, turning around. I watched her blush deepen as she saw me and I instantly blushed back. I knew that being in the same suite together meant that she would have to see me in just underwear one time or another and vice versa. I figured it would be much more gentlemanly if I clambered into bed and fell asleep first and let her have some kind of privacy.  
  
"Mandalorian.. Sith.. Republic." I replied, being totally honest with Maria.  
  
"Wait a minute, you said Republic? What happened there?" She asked me as I clambered into bed.  
  
"I.. Well. I defected to the Sith. Something I am not proud of." I told her, settling down into bed softly.  
  
"Why is that?" Maria asked.  
  
"I did it for the wrong reasons, don't enquire why." I replied to her, sighing as she asked the questions I knew I would have to answer or tell her not to enquire over. Maria just snorted at my answer however. I guess she thought I was some kind of hypocrite since I was telling her just a minute before that I would answer her questions. However, Revan, was not something I wished to reveal to Maria, yet.  
  
"Can you at least tell me how good you were at your job?" Maria asked me as she sat at the foot of the bed.  
  
"I was.. Well, a war hero.. Very good I guess you could say." I said to her, placing my hands behind my head. "I was a veteran for the Republic.. A Commander, I knew how to do my job, I knew how to get blood on my hands and not care. I guess that came after a while of being so shell shocked. Some people called me the best pilot the Republic ever had, others refer to me as an excellent tactician... I was decorated countless times for acts of bravery, though I really didn't care, I just cared for freedom back then." I said, reiterating all of my past to Maria.  
  
"What memorable battles were you in?" Maria said in reply, rubbing her hair softly and removing it from her hair ties.  
  
"My, you really are curious about me lately. Are you going soft on me Maria? Whatever happened to the threats of my male genitalia flying in certain directions? Or the fact that I may lose my arm if I dare look at you in the wrong way?" I asked with a soft giggle. "All joking aside, I'm glad we're on better terms.. But I really don't like talking about my past battles.. I don't really find them as something to be happy about, I'm not into this honour stuff." I added.  
  
"Come on, humour me, or I may just threaten that arm of yours." Maria replied, smacking my leg through the bed covers.  
  
"Ouch gorgeous, that hurt." I said, rubbing the opposite leg of the one she hit whilst giving her a little wink.  
  
"What did you call me?" Maria asked, blushing slightly.  
  
"I called you gorgeous.." I replied, blushing myself.  
  
"Well, just don't. Anyway, you sure you're not going to humour me Jaro?" Maria all but begged me again.  
  
"Fine.. Fine. A little story, I guess. I was out on a patrol by Tatooine. I was checking out on my sensors that everything was alright. Everything was going as planned until I bumped into three or four Mandalorian star fighters. Of course, they were attacking a defenceless ship.. Well, I did the only thing I could and engaged them. We fought. They died. I lived. I won. And that's the end of that story." I told her with a slight sarcastic grin plastered on my face.  
  
"Alright then." Maria replied as she stretched and stifled a yawn herself. I regarded her softly and realised that she had just pulled more out of me than Revan had ever managed. I also realised that I had changed a lot and I had no reason to really care about the past anymore. As I grew older, I realised that the past was something that just happened, and because it happened there was nothing you could do to change it. The past should just be left and told as it is.  
  
"So, why don't you clamber into bed and join me?" I asked Maria softly, with nothing but a good nights sleep in my mind.  
  
"I'm surprised you asked me that, Jaro. I would have thought you'd be kicking me out in favour of Rivu." Maria said. I regarded her softly again, and watched as a look of some kind of surprise washed over her face.  
  
"No. Why should I? Just come to bed and get a good nights sleep with me." I replied. And then I realised what I had just said and began to blush. "I meant that innocently, by the way. I'd.. Uh.. Not.. Well, think of you in that sense.. Or take advantage of this situation." I added in a hurry.  
  
"I know.. I guess." Maria said softly. I opened the bed covers and gazed in her direction again.  
  
"It's not exactly like I have a choice, but the bed is open for you." I said with a nervous chuckle and smile.  
  
"Is it?" Maria asked bitterly. I shrugged and looked at her totally baffled by her responses.  
  
"Yes! Well, uh..." I trailed off, blushing again. I actually realised that I felt incredibly embarrassed over sharing a bed with Maria. "Well, uh.. That side is yours." I managed to stutter.  
  
"Doesn't look so." She replied bitterly again and with more than a hint of embarrassment once she realised my own. I just stared at her, not knowing how to take her outburst. "I'm going to the 'fresher, be back whenever.." Maria added, walking off.  
  
"Maria! Wait!" I exclaimed, too late, the door shut firmly behind her.  
  
***  
  
Half an hour later I was still awake, wondering when Maria would appear. I decided that it would be best not to confront her again tonight, whatever was making her act strangely would be sorted out when she was on her own I figured. When I heard the door that led to the 'fresher open I closed my eyes and pretended to be in a deep sleep.  
  
I heard light, gentle footsteps creep around on the floor, carefully so she would not wake me. The light in the room went off and I heard the immediate shuffling around in the corner. I figured that Maria was probably getting dressed into some kind of night garment to join me. Their was more shuffling and suddenly I could feel her body heat kneeling beside me.  
  
I could feel her eyes burning against me and I wondered if she knew I was awake. Whatever it was, I had no idea why she was doing it. I suddenly felt two soft fingertips on my forehead and I tried desperately not to open my eyes. Her strokes were gentle but her fingertips had a rough feeling to them. Maria caressed my forehead for a while until I heard her sigh and move her fingers to my hair, brushing it softly.  
  
My mind suddenly wandered. I wondered if on nights when I really had been in a deep sleep had Maria Mortis ever done this to me, I realised now that she cared for me and I was scared of it. Feeling her close to me like this, reminded me of a whole lot of things that I didn't want to experience ever again. Maybe I was just imagining this or maybe I was dreaming it. All I knew was that I wished it wasn't happening.  
  
I didn't want to hurt her if this was how she felt.  
  
I could feel her breath, burning against my face as her head was now inches away from me. I felt her soft lips tenderly kiss my forehead, then the tip of my nose and finally my lips. At that moment in time I wanted to grab her and kiss her back, but I had to keep control of myself, I had to remember that I would only hurt her and I cared far too much for Rivu and Maria to hurt either of them in any shape or form.  
  
All my mind could think was to beg Maria silently not to do this. To not fall for me.  
  
It suddenly fell into place when I heard her whisper. "Rivu is so lucky to have you.."  
  
I realised that Maria had obviously seen me and Rivu hug before and share our conversation. Obviously she got the wrong end of the blaster rifle here. At that moment I realised that I was already hurting her and that I had to explain everything to her.  
  
But when I opened my eyes, she was gone.  
  
***  
  
I was awoken but a few hours later by sharp nudges on my shoulder. Bleary eyed and weary I looked up at who was above my bed, to my dismay, it wasn't Maria, it was a Gammorean Mercenary. All I could make out from his various grunts and growls was that I was to go and see Urna immediately and from the sounds of it, she wasn't too happy. I followed the Gammorean along until Urna was in front of me. "Traitor..." She muttered. I raised my eyebrow at her in surprise.  
  
"What do you mean "traitor"?" I asked her, angered that she would accuse me of such a thing.  
  
"Do you know what Maria was up to whilst you were sleeping, human?" Urna the Hutt asked me. I shrugged in response, I had no clue what this was about and I had no idea why I was being called a traitor. "She was attempting to steal from my palace! It's not something I take kindly to." Urna growled at me. I gazed at Urna, I wanted to say that I had nothing to do with it but Maria was my partner and I decided it would be best if we got into trouble as a team, especially after what she told me before I slept. I watched as Maria was ushered out by a Mercenary, she looked at me, full of shame for herself.  
  
"I'm sorry, Jaro." She muttered towards me. I just stared at her. I was infuriated and at the same time calm. I wondered why she would do such a thing.  
  
"Take them to the pit, let them wonder what we have in store for them a little longer." Urna the Hutt yelled.  
  
Maria and I were reluctantly dragged to our holding cells.  
  
***  
  
"Why did you do it?" I asked her angrily.  
  
"I'm sorry..." Was all Maria could manage. I paced back and forth in my holding cell, adjacent to hers. The cells were ancient compared to many force fielded cells that are standard of the Republic and Sith. I suppose for Urna's purposes these would do. Maria was sitting down, cross legged and staring onto the floor, blankly. After a while of pacing back and forth I walked towards her cell, reaching for the cold metal bars separating us with both of my worn hands. I grasped them and stared at her.  
  
"Is that *all* you have to say? What were you thinking?" I asked her yet again. "OUT WITH IT!" I yelled. I watched as Maria bowed her head in an emotion I couldn't describe, my yelling only seemed to drag her further down into some kind of hole.  
  
"I just.. I just thought that you didn't believe in me. That you didn't think I was strong, I wanted to prove to you that I am." Maria replied, sighing and bowing her head even further. She closed her eyes before speaking again. "I'm too full of pride.. Forgive me."  
  
"I can't forgive you for this. You know what that is? That's.. That's so damn childish, so immature, sister! You're worse than Rivu, you know that?" I yelled at her. "Or was their more to it than that? You know what I think, Maria? I think you wanted to do it because you wanted revenge on me, because you were ashamed of the fact that I called you my slave." I added, infuriated.  
  
"It wasn't like that.." Maria replied. I watched her carefully as she seemingly tried to control her anger and her emotions.  
  
"Of course it was!" I exclaimed. I watched as Maria rose to her feet and strode over towards me. She wrapped her hand around my collar and dragged me into the bars that separated us.  
  
"It would be most wise if you closed your mouth..." Maria muttered in complete anger.  
  
"What are you going to do, Maria? We're separated by bars." I replied.  
  
"I'll choke you to death... With no remorse..." She replied, her grip tightening.  
  
"Get off!" I exclaimed as I pried her hands away from my collar and threw them in her direction. I sat down in the middle of my holding cell and contemplated everything, it wasn't long until I was disturbed.  
  
"You two! You mere arrogant pets! You do know why you are here, right?" The "pet keeper" asked me.  
  
"No." I replied shortly.  
  
"You are here to fight to the death. The person who wins in the final gets their freedom." The pet keeper replied.  
  
***  
  
I watched Maria fight her own battles. I had already won my own battles in the arena and I was due to meet either Maria or her attacker in the final. Maria had told me so many times that she was regretting having to kill all these people but she knew it was survival of the fittest and it was the only viable thing she could do. It amazed me that such a heartless woman as herself could regret having to kill, but I realised that after the episode last night, she had a heart.  
  
It was one that I owned..  
  
I heard the crowd cheer as Maria became the victor of her battle.  
  
I cringed, I knew we had to fight each other next.  
  
"I will make a plan for you Maria.. I promise..."  
  
***  
  
I was awoken from the dreams of my past when I heard a faint scratching on my cell door. I looked up and in the darkness, I could not see who my rescuer was. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, feeling the dried up tears that littered my face. Had I really cried in my sleep?  
  
The one thing I did know was that I missed Maria.  
  
And that Urna the Hutt would pay for her death...  
  
------------  
  
Hey everyone. Sorry about the lack of updates. I've been very busy with some stuff and I haven't had chance to write past this (And I've had a free week to do it). Anyway, I never published these two chapters, then I got three reviews and I figured, I better had.  
  
Shadow 39: I hope this quenches your thirst.  
  
Gollo: I guess things have been revealed over Maria now... Or have they? :D.  
  
Vivid Scrips: Hey! As you know, and from my note above.. I've been -real- busy and just damn lazy.. I saw you have the last chapter of your story up and I'll pick up my ass and go around to see your stuff on the force.net :).  
  
MD: Nah, you're not stupid.. Yes, I'm keeping it up :D  
  
Bjrn Fallqvist: Thanks for the support man, it's greatly appreciated.  
  
CrimsonMyst: Pffft... Un-lazy yourself and start logging in :D.. Just kidding.. Bah, yeah, I've been a bit ratty with people reviewing, huh? I genuinely forgot about you guys who are too shy to review, though.. I just neglected this story.. But I promise to start writing again soon :).  
  
Starlight the Wanderer: Ar-har :D.. I see.. Well, yes most of the characters are dead besides HK-47 and T3-M4.. I actually WAS planning on adding them later because I realised that it IS one of my story's faults :). I do feel that I don't write HK-47 convincingly enough, however. But hey, we'll see how it goes.. Your request has been noted! Hey, I think everyone has had there suspicions over this story.. But I guess a lot of it is changing now?  
  
Don't worry everyone, I'll try not to leave you in suspense too much longer :).  
  
Sorry about the un-coolness of grammar, punctuation and spelling in this chapter, by the way (. 


	34. Life is nothing but sweet torment

A Mercenary's Tale – Chapter Eight  
  
Life is nothing but sweet torment  
  
I squinted my eyes as I gazed at the shadowed cell door, awaiting whatever lay behind it to come in. My room was pitch black. Funny. I guess Urna preferred a psychological way of torturing us poor souls who had no option but to bend to her rules. I slowly backed into the corner as I heard the lock on the door snap. Slowly, the door creaked and light ethereally peaked through the ever opening crevice as a hand reached around to push the door even further open. "Who could this be?" I thought to myself.  
I watched as a shadowed figure (but very obviously slender) peeped through the door. I strained to catch a glimpse of who my rescuer... Or attacker may be. "Jaro.. Jaro are you in here?" Came a familiar voice.  
  
"Rivu!" I exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I saw what happened, I came to save you-," in desperation, I cut Rivu off.  
  
"Look, there's no time, if Urna's men find you here you'll be thrown in here too! We have to plan our escape." I told her. She came in and hoisted me up from my squatting position, I carefully patted away the dust from my knees as I squinted in the dark room to see Rivu. "Lead the way." I said calmly.  
  
Maria was dead and gone and there was nothing I could have done to save her. It was my fault. I was always the failure... I still am. I followed Rivu down what seemed like an endless maze of monotonous tunnels, "I thought you got through this place to find me, sister!" I exclaimed with a nervous laugh, more in frustration than in nerves, however. Urna's men were sure to become suspicious, oh, especially after they found an empty cell..  
  
"I.. I guess it was luck the first time. But look, brother! At least we're together, the team and all! Freedom's Fate Family, back together again!" Rivu said, staring at me. I watched her carefully then realisation appeared to dawn upon her as she lowered her eyes. "Look.." She muttered softly and somewhat ashamedly. "We.. Should just get going."  
  
I nodded casually at Rivu, in total agreement with her previous statement. I carried on following her trails as my thoughts drifted endlessly into other times...  
  
"How exciting! What are you going to name him?" My mother said jovially to me.  
  
"Me and Morgana had a few names in mind-," I said in reply, but was quickly cut off.  
  
"Do tell!" My mother, Patyria exclaimed.  
  
"Mom!" I exclaimed in excitement, "I know that you're excited, but will you please just let me leave so I can go and visit my wife?" I asked, smiling and laughing softly. I watched as my mother rolled her eyes.  
  
"The laws of physics states that she will still be there, now please, spend five minutes with your mother. Tell me what he is like!" My mother said, making a grand old fuss. I smiled when I remembered this. Ever since my father had died, I'd not seen her so excited about anything.  
  
"I'll be bringing him home soon, but if you must know, he has his mother's looks. He's very beautiful, in other words." I replied, giving a proud grin.  
  
"Oh my! I can't wait to see him. I wish.. I wish your father was here." And suddenly, the conversation was dead. After a long silence, I cleared my throat and began to speak.  
  
"I'm sure he is. He is one with the Force now." I replied.  
  
And then, I knew why I was remembering this.  
  
Maria was also one with the force, along with Morgana and Revan.  
  
And all three of them would never ever leave my mind, or my knowledge of their new existence.  
  
Rivu stopped and gave me a soft grin. "Ok sister," I said, "Why have we stopped here?" My question was left unanswered as Rivu bent down and gently moved aside a Sith issue manhole. "Oh geeze." Came my reply to that.  
  
"Well, I've found how I got in, Jaro!" Rivu exclaimed. I wiggled my eyebrow at her and folded my arms.  
  
"If you think I'm going into sewers you've got another thing coming, sister." I said to her, holding my hands up in a silly gesture.  
  
"You want to get out of here don't you? God, you ungrateful bantha fodder! Besides, the sewers will probably run away from YOU and YOUR stench!" Rivu snapped at me, her head tails flapping around her neck defensively.  
  
"Ouch, sister. At least I was polite. I didn't complain about you smelling of Gammorean puke, did I?" I asked, grinning at Rivu.  
  
"No, because you knew that I would have left you in that cell to rot, and I probably should have!" She exclaimed, laughing as she jumped down the hole. I watched as she motioned her hand towards me, "Come on, Tusken slime worm!" She exclaimed.  
  
All I thought was, what an odd insult.  
  
"Oh man," I muttered, "I really hate these places.." I said trailing off.  
  
"Quiet you! It seems you have been blessed a life of luxury, being a smuggler you have to know how to survive, sewers are often overlooked." She replied, stepping around some rather dodgy looking blue slime.  
  
"Eegh.. I hate sewers." I said, repeating myself.  
  
"You've already said that once!" Rivu exclaimed.  
  
"I'm sorry.." I said softly, Rivu glared at me. "Look! I'm really sorry, okay? Lets just find a way out of here as quickly as possible."  
  
We carried on, precariously as Rivu led the way in the never ending maze. "We're almost there now!" Rivu said desperately as her pace quickened.  
  
"Rivu! Watch where you're walking!" I shouted. Too late, Rivu had tripped over a sewerage pipe. I sighed and Rivu glared at me rubbing her ankle, "I did warn you." I muttered. If looks could kill, I was already dead. But this was also nothing new either. Women love to give me those looks, the ones that make you know.. Just know that your life will be a living misery. Forever. "Well, get up then." I said to her.  
  
"It's not that easy you oversized chadra-fan's ear!" She yelled at me.  
  
"Why not?" I said, reaching to scratch behind my neck.  
  
"My ankle, I need kolto.." She whispered, pointing to her backpack. I sighed and reached in, pulling out some kolto, also noticing that Rivu had managed to steal two Sith uniforms.  
  
"I don't know what I'll do with you kids." I muttered.  
  
"Hey, enough of that! At least I managed to get them." Rivu exclaimed, as I got down on my knees ready to administer the kolto to her. She groaned and rubbed her foot, "Well what are you waiting for? You're like one of those old fart Jedi Masters, always analysing every little move you make... Ow!" Rivu exclaimed as I shoved the kolto injector into her.  
  
"You had that coming, sister" I muttered. I watched as Rivu suddenly relaxed, the kolto working it's marvellous affects upon her. Her head tails wrapped around her neck comfortingly. "That'll teach you to insult me again." I said, winking at her.  
  
"I'm sorry.." She whispered, sniffing the air gently and wheezing against the stench of the sewers.  
  
"What for?" I asked solemnly.  
  
"For what you went through down in the pit with Maria." She whispered, obviously trying not to get too emotional.  
  
"Lets not talk on it." I replied quickly.  
  
"But-," she asked.  
  
"Rivu, no. Lets get going." I said, immediately bringing myself up onto my feet, repeating my ritual of dusting off my knees. I watched as Rivu stood up and led the way out from the sewer.  
  
Darkness littered the baron, volcanic rock that was etched deep into Korriban, like the scars of an ancient warrior who bore pain so deep that the blood would never seep out from them ever again. I crept along with Rivu, who led the way back to the Freedom's Fate.  
  
"It's open.." Rivu gasped. I instinctively moved my hand towards my holster, but realised I had left my blaster aboard the Freedom's Fate in the first place. Rivu unsheathed her vibroblade and crept inside the Freedom's Fate.  
  
What we saw next would change things forever.. 


	35. That scoundrel

A Mercenary's Tale – Chapter Nine  
  
That scoundrel..  
  
"You took your time," Maria muttered in my direction. I just blinked my eyes in total disbelief.  
  
"You're dead! I saw you die!" I exclaimed. Maria shook her head and grinned.  
  
"I'm a mastermind, Jaro. What you saw is-," Maria replied, I didn't give her the chance to finish.  
  
"I saw you DIE, you-," I exclaimed, but was abruptly cut off.  
  
"Let her speak!" Rivu said impatiently. Maria glanced at Rivu, nodded in her direction and redirected her eyes towards me.  
  
"There was no way out, Jaro. One of us had to die and I chose that person to be me. Except, I was cleverer than that. The wound you gave me with your vibroblade wasn't enough to kill me." Maria shook her head gently and I watched as she fumbled around in her pockets, "I used this." She said, throwing a hypodermic in my direction. The hypodermic fell on the metal barred floor with a clatter, between my black booted feet. I lowered my head and stared down at it, bending down to pick it up. I raised it up to my face and gazed at it in the light.  
  
"I don't get it, what am I supposed to say.." I said, as I twiddled with the hypoderm in the artificial light, watching as the light glinted off the transparent cylinder.  
  
"Nothing. How about you let me explain?" Maria asked, sarcastically. It was obvious she was back to her old self.  
  
"Oh well, I was hoping the shock may change your attitude problem." I replied as I walked over to the rounded table, placing the hypodermic down on it. Maria just grinned at me, seemingly victorious. "Well, I didn't find your little antics very funny, Maria." I told her, frowning at her.  
  
"Scared that you almost lost the most amazing woman in the galaxy for a moment?" She asked me, and in my mood, I couldn't let that one go. I was vehement at this, how could she feign her own death? I knew the reasons why, we would have never have gotten out of that tight spot, but it was unfair not to let me know.  
  
"I lost the most amazing woman in the galaxy a long time ago, sister." I replied. I watched as Maria's face turned into thunder.  
  
"That's coming from a scoundrel, huh? Well, should I let you know how I lived now?" She enquired. I shrugged my shoulders and wondered to myself, did it really matter? Maria sighed and her gaze fell on me for a while, I silently sat down and made sure I didn't stare in her direction. The tension was soon broken by Rivu.  
  
"I want to know, Maria!" She exclaimed. Same old Rivu as always, I thought. Maria turned to Rivu's direction as she began her story.  
  
"There's not much to tell, really. The hypoderm was filled with a toxin that would dull all my vital signs long enough for Urna's elite mercenaries to think I was dead.. Then when the job was done, several hours later, my life signs returned, all thanks to that lovely drug. I then silently made my escape." Maria told us. I kept my eyes focused in one direction however, almost letting everything go through one ear and out the other.  
  
"I think I've heard of that drug before," Rivu replied, "Is that the drug called Tragrim?" She asked. Maria nodded.  
  
"It was risky, if those mercenaries knew anything about Tragrim, I wouldn't be here, but I am." Maria replied, then she sighed. I watched as she rubbed her head, more out of what looked like frustration than anything, "I just remembered.." She muttered.  
  
"What?" I asked, not giving Rivu a chance to reply.  
  
"The uniforms." Maria replied, shaking her head slowly. Rivu gracefully swung her backpack off her back and opened it up producing two shiny Sith uniforms.  
  
"Ta-da!" Rivu exclaimed, with a gentle giggle. Maria looked and her eyes lit up.  
  
"Rivu, how did you manage that? That must have been some skill." Maria asked, lighting up a cigarra and smoking one calmly, just as if nothing had happened..  
  
"You forget that I had a huge advantage, Maria! I have been in Urna's palace countless number of times and knew my way around there. Plus, you're my family, how could I let you down? Anyway, I.. Thought you were gone, so I got the uniforms for me and Jaro, but since you're alive.. Are you going to carry on with the march tomorrow?" Rivu asked her. Maria gently turned towards me and looked at me, I returned the glance once I felt her eyes burning holes in the side of my head.  
  
"Depends on whether Mr. Kep still wants to go." Maria said almost rhetorically, I shrugged my shoulders at her, still a bit bitter and paranoid about everything. "We've come this far, Jaro. The Sith are up to some dodgy dealings, are we going to stand here and let them have their way?" She asked me. I sighed, what was I getting myself into? But then I realised, did I have anything else to live for? Was I just supposed to sit around and wait for Revan to fall onto my lap? No.. No, I just didn't want to live my life on that hope. That false hope that may never happen. It was going to be a billion in one chance, why should I hold on? It was the only thing that was keeping me living, but what Maria was suggesting.. It was three of us, against the Sith. That's three of us, non force using imbeciles against a Dark Lord and it's apprentices. Either I was crazy, or I had a death wish. Then there was the ever frightening fact that Maria may have a soft spot for me.  
  
Was I supposed to stay around?  
  
I visibly shook my head at this point. Not knowing what to say. If I stayed, the possibility of me and Maria could be a high one, if I left, maybe Revan would fall out of the sky onto my lap. What in forces name was I supposed to do? Then I remembered, the Force was meant to control this, meant to judge my one true fate and destiny.  
  
"I'll go." I whispered  
  
-----------  
  
Ok, just to let you know. This story wasn't updated in a long time because I had a lot of things going on in my life. New guy, more interested in school, exams, revision, homework. Just a bunch of important stuff. Anyway, I neglected this a bit, and decided to start writing again after a long hiatus. So sorry if you thought I'd never finish the story. As for me finishing it, I will, it's good self therapy for me, and I need all that I can get.  
  
Thank you everyone for the support, I really enjoy reading my reviews because they're very positive and it gives me reason to create more when I see that I make people enjoy my writing so much. 


	36. The March of Doom

A Mercenary's Tale – Chapter Ten

The March of Doom

I awoke in the morning with the familiar signs of a headache. I knew what brought it on, it was obviously Maria and her ridiculous tricks. I sighed and got up, reaching for the Sith uniform. I grabbed hold of the uniform bringing it close towards my chest and stared down at it, wondering about the last time I'd gotten so close to a uniform. Was it when I was with Revan? Or was it before that, when I was Commander Carth Onasi? Whenever it was, the uniform glinted in the dull light of the Freedom's Fate. The Sith uniform always looked ominous and foreboding, especially when worn, however it managed to look harmless to me at this present moment in time.

I slipped into the uniform slowly and wondered if people would see me as ominous and foreboding when I was disturbed, "Are you coming then, Jaro?" Maria asked from the doorway. I looked up at her and she was already dressed in the Sith uniform. I nodded in her direction, still finding it difficult to speak to her after the trick she pulled. "Come on.." She whispered, "Am I really that bad?" She asked. If Maria could have seen through my visor and into my eyes, she would have realised that she is that bad. Instead, she giggled softly as we both walked outside the doorway and into the cockpit.

Rivu was already sitting in the cockpit, not doing anything in particular. "You know the plan, right?" She asked.

"No." I replied.

"You get into that Sith building after the march, I don't care how you do it. Then you reclaim the Parysidian and get the hell out of there before the Sith get a whiff of your bad breath, got that, brother?" She said militantly. I chuckled, this was more than amusing.

"Wow... Yes, boss!" I exclaimed, laughing through all of this.

"Hey, this is serious! Obviously the Sith think that the Parysidian is important and we can't let them have it, they're most obviously the wrong hands." Rivu replied.

"You being serious?" I asked her, "I never thought that was possible!" I exclaimed, as I saw the way Rivu looked at me. "Ok, sister, I get the point. I won't make fun of you anymore..." I said, taking a little break before adding, "but you really do try and state the obvious, huh?" I asked, garnering another glare from Rivu.

"Enough. Let's get going." Maria said, interrupting the friendly banter.

"I'll get you back later mush brain." Rivu replied.

I quietly walked outside of the Freedom's Fate, followed by Maria who was holding her blaster rifle nonsensically. I stopped and looked at her, "Have you ever handled one of those things before?" I asked her, probably the first time I'd spoken to Maria seriously and sensibly. She looked down at the blaster and then back up at me, "Yes, that." I answered sarcastically.

"Yes. Of course I have!" Maria replied enthusiastically.

"I don't look impressed." I responded, pointing my blaster rifle in the general direction of her blaster.

"Okay smartass. How am I supposed to tell whether you look impressed or not?!" She quirked at me, pointing her blaster rifle to my visor. If she could have seen me frown, I don't think she would have been too pleased. I lifted my hands, shook my head and turned, walking away from her, sighing to myself in what I could only describe as despair.

"Two can play that game, sister.." I muttered under my breath, unfortunately, Maria heard what I said and already jumped into a retort.

"Do you really want to say that with a blaster rifle in my hand?" She replied. Her comment reminded me of when I was with Revan when I calmly told her that I could "get more attention from a blaster rifle." I shook my head, purging my mind of that memory however and thus it vanished as soon as it came.

"Yeah, I do. Besides, you're handling it like an amateur, this trick isn't going to pass off unless I show you how to march with that in your hands... You're waving it around like a constipated Jawa-"I was cut off abruptly.

"Ooo.. All the more chance that I'll accidentally shoot your brains out through your ear! Exciting!" She exclaimed, sarcastically. I sighed, almost to myself.

"Look, sister. I'm the one that YOU dragged along onto this foolish little escapade. You're obviously masochistic enough to enjoy being sliced and diced by a bunch of Sith loonies that haven't took their happy pills, but I'm NOT and I refuse to go any further unless your attitude doesn't sharpen up!" I yelled at her, not realising that other people may have heard me as my head darted left and right. I realised that I was soon forgetting that this was a woman who had admitted that she had some kind of feelings for me and that she almost died (albeit, in her own devious and deceitful fashion) yesterday.

"Fine." She muttered, "But don't you dare tell anyone that I couldn't handle a blaster rifle, alright? Or you know what that means, don't you?" She enquired. All I could do was smile behind my visor.

"Yeah. I lose my very precious and favourite personal blaster rifle." I replied, with a soft chuckle.

I carried on walking at a steady pace after showing Maria how to march and handle a blaster rifle at least efficiently enough so that we'd pass off as Sith soldiers. "Still mad at me, Jaro?" Came Maria's voice from behind me. I didn't look behind me, instead, I carried on walking.

"I suppose. Although, it's dying down now." I replied as I slowed my pace a little bit.

"I don't understand." She said to me.

"I didn't expect you to." I snorted.

"Make me understand." Maria pleaded, as she jogged a little to be at my side.

"What's the point?" I said, as I stopped, turning to face her.

"The point is, I'm confused. You won't open up. You won't let me in. What's wrong?" She enquired, facing me now. Of course, I knew what was wrong, nearly every woman that ever loved me or who I had loved had died. Maria was nearly another one and even though it was unfair of me to be so harsh and I realised that, part of me couldn't help dwelling and gloating on the past.

"It's none of your concern." I said. I watched as she cocked her head to the side and I assumed that she was probably giving me some kind of cute eyed look... Wait.. This is Maria I'm talking about, it was probably a stare of complete hatred.

"I've been on this mission with you for a while, of course it's of my concern." She whispered to me. I gently placed my hands on her shoulders, sighing.

"Thank you. I appreciate your concern, Maria." I said restlessly, "but there's no need to care this much, in fact, why do you care this much?" I asked, knowing the answer, but something inside of me still wanted to hear her admit that she had feelings for me when she at least knew I was conscious.

"Well, we started talking the other day and things seemed fine. I thought we were finally getting along." She replied. I folded my arms at this point and interrupted.

"They were going fine when you were threatening the loss of my various anatomical pieces?" I asked.

"You know that it's just banter.. It's just a bit of fun, besides, you play along!" She exclaimed, folding her own arms and mimicking my gesture.

"But back to the original question.." I said.

"I answered it. We were getting along well, I think it's only customary that I find out more about you." She replied.

"And what about the gaps of your life I have no idea about? I have absolutely no clue about your background, at least you know stuff about me. Not only that, but I thought you actually wanted to understand why I was angry, not about my life.." I said drifting off.

"That's not the point, Jaro. At least if I knew about why you were so angry still then I would understand your life and your background a bit better." She replied.

"You know enough. This is a game of give and take, Maria. You can't just run away and hide in the corners of your mind. You have to come out of there and you have to let me know before you can just run away with everything I have to offer." I said frustratingly. "Not only that, but I've fell into that trap before and I'll be damned to Kun if I fall into the same one again. I said paranoia was my defence back then, perhaps it wasn't, perhaps I should have been more careful, but I've learnt my lesson and it's more than my defence now. It's my life. It's my motto. Does that suit your curiosity, Maria?" I asked her aggressively.

"I suppose. So you want to know about me, huh?" She asked me, I just nodded in response. "Well, fine. I suppose in a sense we're similar." She said as she started to walk again, I followed accordingly, not able to believe what I was hearing. "Things have happened to me, that no normal human should have to go through-"

"Everyone has their problems, sister. Don't give me that line." I responded.

"Let me finish!" She snapped angrily, "That's just it. You start telling people things and they don't understand, this is why I don't tell anyone and this is who I am, Jaro! This is who I am. Inside I'm so weak and trying to put that across is like trying to find the sympathy I don't want, because that is what people want to see." She said, sighing almost in despair. "So people have problems.. I've had more than my fair share of problems, so have you. I'm paranoid about explaining them. I don't want to explain them. I don't want to share them. So I'm not going to. Now, does that suit YOUR curiosity, Jaro?" She asked me. I shrugged, not quite knowing what to say.

"I guess. Not that I'm happy nor am I satisfied with your answer." I replied.

"Well, a lot of things have changed since I've met you Jaro." She sighed, "A lot of things have changed..." She reiterated.

"Like what?" I asked her, curiously.

"Who I am, the way I think, the way I.." She paused. "Feel." She finally said. Blast that woman, she was never going to admit her feelings directly to me, but would do anything to admit them indirectly. I stopped again, turning to face her.

"Well, I want you to know that-"I was cut off abruptly.

"You there!" A rather colonial voice from behind me exclaimed as I felt something rather heavy being smacked against my leg. I turned around and noticed that it was a sergeant of the Sith Army. I saluted stiffly and Maria mimicked my movement.

"Yes, Sir!" I exclaimed.

"Really soldier, put that officer down, you do know how important this day is, right?" The Sergeant asked.

"Yes, Sir! I exclaimed, again.

"Then follow me, boy, before we all get into a lot of trouble!" He yelled. I followed, obeying his command as Maria tagged along behind me.

Both Maria and I tagged along with the unknown Sergeant until we came to the back of what seemed like an awful queue. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, but there were hundreds, perhaps thousands of Sith soldiers stood to stiff attention. "Whatever this is for, it must be pretty important." I whispered carefully to Maria. If she didn't have her helmet on, I would have guessed that she glanced at me sideways, but instead I could only imagine that she kept focused as she kept a tight hold of her blaster rifle. Suddenly I felt the presence of someone behind me.

"What do you think you're doing, boy?" Came that colonial voice, "Get out of line, immediately!" He yelled.

"Yes, Sir!" I replied as I stepped out from the throng of soldiers. I followed the Sergeant until I was led to the far left end of the block of Sith soldiers, being forced to stand next to him.

"See this, men? This young laddie here thinks that he can mess this up, well, it looks like I'm going to have to treat him like a baby and chaperone him for this entire march." He said loudly, many of the soldiers laughed in response and I was greeted with his face right in front of my visor, "You got that kiddo?" He asked.

"Yes, Sir!" I yelled affirmatively as the Sergeant stood beside me straightening his uniform.

What was I going to do now if Maria was so far away from me? How was I going to get into that building? Drat. What if she ruined it all through her obvious inexperience? All those questions kept floating around my head when I was suddenly disturbed by very loud Sith music. The march had begun. I took the march in my stride, lifting my right leg, then my left leg, prostrating my blaster rifle in various positions while the thoughts kept flying around manically even though the Sith music was loud enough to stop anyone from thinking. But nothing was ever loud enough to stop my paranoid self from thinking.

The entire block of Sith soldiers, all mechanically placing one leg in front of another were walking into a long tunnel and I followed naturally as the tunnel gently bent to the left and followed through back out into daylight. I looked at the sight ahead of me and caught a glimpse of a platform coming up to my left and the huge Sith building up towards the way we were marching. I peered up as best as I could at the platform and saw three people standing there. From the distance I could tell that one was female and the other two were male, but at this point their importance was oblivious to me.

I felt a tug on my arm and I turned to the left as I was dragged out of the marching group, I strained my neck to look back to see if I could see Maria, but she just blended into the crowd anyway which meant finding her was going to be damn difficult. I managed to catch a glimpse of the march walking further on down the dusty path as they were directed to the right and away from the Sith building all showing off their obligatory salutes to the three people as they passed, whoever they were. "Since you were the most unfortunate one to be caught talking, boy, I'm going to have you meet three very important people in the Sith hierarchy.." The Sergeant said to me.

I stood to attention and clutched my blaster rifle in my hands anxiously as I peered upwards, watching the platform being lowered before my very eyes, squinting as the light from the closest star was hindering my view. The platform landed with a soft thud and the three people stood forward in unison. I could see them clearly now. They were Sith Lords. I could feel myself almost cowering with fear and I knew that they could feel it too.

"Who are these insignificant little grunts you have brought to us?" The woman asked the Sergeant standing close to me.

"These are our finest men, my Lord." He replied, taking a small bow before the woman Sith. The two men were standing together and one of them slapped the other one on the arm to grab his attention. It was most obvious which one was the runt of them all and this was only confirmed when I looked up and noticed that not only had the dark side corrupted him, but he was horribly disfigured from what was probably some kind of accident in his earlier life.

"Dathji, don't just stand there get our robes you imbecile!" The man in the middle exclaimed to the disfigured man.

"Fine.... Roym...." Dathji snarled in response as he silently disappeared, passing all of us and walking towards the Sith building. I was then startled by Dathji shouting, "What do you think you're looking at?" to one of the Sith soldiers. I didn't turn. Instead, I listened to the Sith soldier being fried to a crisp by a lightning bolt sent by Darth Dathji and noticed that I'd caught the glance of the female Sith, suddenly, I started to panic and wondered if my cover was broken.

"Who is that soldier?" I heard her whisper to Darth Roym.

"I presume he is just a mere grunt, Serila." He replied. She squinted as she looked at me and I started to think of things that were going to get me out of this situation. I watched as she whispered something to Darth Roym. Again, I felt my heart beat faster and my limbs go weak, was I really going to die? It was then that I had a brilliant idea and collapsed on the floor in front of the Sergeant.

"I don't believe it!" The Sergeant cried out, he kicked me gently to see if he would get a response from me and I bit down tight onto my bottom lip, making sure he wouldn't hear a sound as he said, "I knew you were more trouble than you were worth, boy." He sighed. "He's fainted. Medic, go take him away to the building." He ordered. I felt myself being picked up and played out a limp posture as best as I could. As I was being dragged away I heard Darth Serila's distinct voice.

"That was your best?" She asked, laughing.

"Y-Yes, I absolutely swear it was, my Lord!" He exclaimed, nervously. I couldn't see what was happening, but he was obviously in some kind of distress, "T-That won't be necessary my Lo-Ahh!" He screamed as I heard the crackle of lightning. He was dead.

Sorry about the lack of updates, I will finish this story eventually though :D. Thank you for everyone who reviewed the last chapter and I sincerely hope you enjoy this one.


End file.
